Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Communication is a knife !?!



What is communication? We all talk about this word whether its in office with our team, in the company or even in the family and in relationship as well.

What in reality communication means? Is it only to convey a message? Is it only to listen and don't give your opinion? Or is it a selective listening strategy which one expresses that yes we communicate well.

My thought process and belief about communication is that between two people, or many people such as in a company - it is to openly communicate, share and discuss. During this one can share what they know and others don't, they can discuss if there is a question or solution that they are asking from others or to even to a next level where you can challenge someone if you don't agree with their discussion or point. Many times in stead of creating a healthy discussion, and communication between two people or a group, it ends up in an argument.

Have you come across such a situation ever in life? Many times this comes out with people who are close to you because colleagues will always take it in a professional manner and try to respect each other's opinion rather than getting into an argument - easy to express your opinion and easy to move out by listening to others opinion even though you might not agree with their views.

People argue to agree to disagree and later it turns out to be in two ways - either you stop discussing / communicating / ignore OR you move out of that zone altogether where you don't even communicate with them because the outcome of the whole thing leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

In such case what is there? Healthy communication which should improve the relationship and bring closeness or even bring a broad minded thinking it turns out to be total disaster. 

Why people then say for any relationship to flourish or any process and team to work appropriately - communication should be there. In my so far life I have heard of over communication is better than no communication.

I grew up communicating with my parents about everything that used to happen in my life and that was most of the school time stories and discussions. Sometimes things that I shared were looked at different ways and I used to get a feedback or suggestion that you should have done this way or that way and I used to respect their opinion and used to logically think about it such that I could use that next time.
School life to college life and so forth but nothing changed in my style of communication. I rather became more close to my parents and brother as I wanted them to be part of everything that I do in school or outside of house.
Time changed and as I moved to a independent level I realized communication always helped in all stages of life. Whether it was to communicate to someone about a pain, or even a happiness it was very obvious and clear in communication. 
But many times this communication has become a big problem in life. Have you ever come across this way? 



My still belief is that good or bad if someone is taking a comment or topic discussion as personal then it can become an argumentative communication but then isn't communication all about opening up, giving room to others to express their views and opinions and respectfully communicate your own views or opinions?

I feel mostly these days communication is what killing the relationship or bringing issues. The more smart and intelligent we assume about ourselves the more we keep expectations from others as how to react to our communications or discussions and views. It is becoming as to dictate others and this is something I don't consider as an open communication to flourish any relationship or resolve any issues or come to any solutions.

At the end communication I see as a sharp knife, which can cut fruits and vegetables for you at the same time if you don't use the knife properly it can cut your fingers too.

Are we moving more towards a world where technology is taking over without even making us realizing about what we are missing about in-person communication or one on one communication? People are more tend to get communication from internet, documentaries or TED talks etc but people are so sold out to these that when they find someone in person to communicate or talk, they end up arguing and part with ill-feeling.

Sad, but we should think about it technology should be working for us and not we becoming handicap to technology and lose connection with real people.

An expression - whether its happiness, anger, disagreement its all a way of communicating and expressing the feelings. If you consider your loved ones are really your loved ones then do listen and give room to think about and listen to what they are trying to communicate.

Communication is a knife which anyway is going to cut things try to use it to cut through all barriers and reduce distances rather than murdering it.

~ Dawn

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