It’s easy to stand with the crowd it takes courage to stand alone..!

Have you ever lived alone? I mean for the first time how was it? I am not sure if this is something that you will think could be different but for me it was a whole new experience and that too in a completely different country.

Like here in US/Canada, kids would be out of home by the time they are sixteen or later for college and they learn early to be independent and live their life.

I grew up in a country where kids don't leave their home until they are married off and this is specially about girls because boys will get married and bring home his wife and live with parents. But that doesn't mean that kids don't live in dorm or hostel for their college, they do. In my case, I literally grew up living with my parents until that one day I decided to migrate to Canada. A decision very gallantly taken by me without even thinking.

Things worked out for me in such a way that I landed in Canada and after couple months living as paying guest in couple folks house, I decided to be brave enough to live by myself as paying guest was not literally paying guest, it was more like an extended family where even though you pay your rent and hope everyone will mind their own business but that was not the case.

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."

I moved to a one bedroom apartment in Toronto, on the East York side as I wanted to be close to my work place as those days I am completely relying on public transport system TTC.

Living alone for me had its own experience as I was scared too because I have never lived alone before.

I had a call-center job those days which would start at 4:45 pm to 11:45 pm and there was no commission of the sales that I make hence it was a typical office contract job as medical is free so didn't have to be a full time job with benefits. 

Since the timing was such I used to come home late night and that was very scary and tensed moment - the walk from the bus-stand till my room and why I say room because even if I enter the building the worst part was going in the elevator as after midnight you don't know who's who?

Once I was inside my apartment, It was my world and my life no one has anything to know or do with it. I used to come home get fresh and go to bed those days I didn't have mobile phones and there was no smart-phones so the only phone I had was landline and no one would call that late unless it was an international call to India. 

I think living there alone in my own world, I felt this was the first time I was trying to know myself better. It's not that as a child I didn't have the freedom to do things that I liked but I figure that lot of things that we do gets carried away with our family, parents, siblings and we just follow those and we do find happiness.

"Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself."

I used to love to keep my apartment clean and tidy. I would read books after that and make food and at times I used to go to the nearest public library and go read newspapers and magazines. It used to give me a feel of I am responsible and making my decision though it was new so I would think properly before making that decision - should I take the bus and just travel from one end to the other just because I have a monthly pass and anyhow I have to use it.

The best part was that for TTC you can go one way no matter how far you only use one ticket except that the transit is in one direction. If you break and go some other route then you have to pay another ticket. Hence going one way and getting down to do some shopping and getting back in the same bus was something I found very comfortable and easy as compared to moving around in Pune, India, where you have to know the route and then the right bus to go there and then find the right address to reach the destination. I used to feel so happy that I am traveling alone and that too in Toronto, Canada.

I used to make phone calls to some friends that I had made in the call center and the funny part was that they used to talk to me on the phone for hours and hours because they would say its only twenty five cents. I used to feel worried as in India I used to make phone calls only for emergency purpose or to give any message as I am going to be late or so. But here, I was able to keep my relationship with my friends as we daily meet at lunch time at work but weekends it was good to connect with them specially when I was all by myself, talking to friends would bring more cheer to me.

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." ~ Henry Rollins

And this making phone calls to my friends didn't come up just like that, it was the time when I used to feel very lonely. Weekdays was busy with work and hence it was the weekends when I used to feel lonely. After finishing my chores and reading books as the sunsets my day would be more gloomy and when I shared this with my friends at work, they immediately said don't worry we will turn by turn call you and that will take your loneliness away. Such good friends I had one was Lisa Jattan from Trinidad and other one Valerie Shan, she was from Pakistan married to Sri Lankan. We had so many beautiful days whether it's on the phone, at work life was for like college those days.

I remember going to a dandia (dance with sticks that you play at India festival). Today when I think I laugh at it but those days I don't know much about things but I would look at the advertisement pamphlet and find my route on the map and just dress up in Indian saree and would show up alone and dance in the group and before midnight I would make sure I come home. Those ones really boost my confidence as back home, I was always taught to be cautious and careful and hence many time when I am traveling alone I would be more stressed with that thought but here I was happy though cautious but I was doing things that I thought I will give a try.

"The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone."

I also one day figured out to keep myself busy, went to nearby old age home facility where I used to go and sit with elderly people and spend time. I used to just sit and watch them initially and later I started engaging with them in conversation and one time I got scolded by one of the elderly lady who thought me to be her daughter. Later I realized she is Alzheimer patient and she scolded me for not showing up all these days - I got nervous and cried but immediately the staff came and rescued me. But next day I was confident to go and hug her and she smiled at me and said comb my hair its been long time. I remember I used to play with them, laugh and cry too.

It's true that I would be very cautious when I am out but inside me I was a free living being. I loved those moments and still cherish the memories.

"Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere you find yourself."

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

A journey to the dream world... ;)

How many times in life you have come across where you desired for something and you have got it exactly the way you wished or desired for and on top of that after getting what you desired for it gave you the exact feeling that you had thought about?

Yes, too many questions in one sentence but imagine your answer to the questions are all positive - its heaven. Believe me or not, my desire to be part of this Bacardi NH7 Music Festival in Pune was one of the dreams which came true this year in November 21, 22, and 23. A city where I grew up and to connect there with music 7 hours of continuos music for three days with different musical bands from all over the world - its a blissful moment.

Music, cool people and artists, food and drinks - what else one need to live :). I lived my life as if there is no tomorrow, enjoyed the music, danced and rocked the place Laxmi Lounge in Magarphatta, Pune - met strangers and smiled and took pictures with. Life is just beautiful as there is only music and love which existed between nature and humans.

I had a chance to see live all the bands of which I had heard of some but never saw them playing. Some of them became my friends and got connected through this event. A place where the artists and audience become one and when I say so I truly mean it. Five stages set at one venue where one by one bands perform one after the other and it was a non-stop event. Loved every bit of it and have a desire to be part of this again ......

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make ;)

~ Dawn

“Every moment is the paradox of now or never.” ;)

VMWorld is an annual conference for IT professionals, focusing on virtual server environments, put on by VMWare . It is the largest virtualization-specific event. It is held in San Francisco, California, and in Europe.

I had attended some of the expo-events of other high-tech companies in the past and yes I wouldn't say that I didn't enjoy. But attending VMware's event that too being an employee of the company it was not only a sheer pride but also an excitement of the  announcement of the products that they launched and the celebration of all was the cherry on the cake.

I have never thought I would get an opportunity to attend even a single day but thanks to good friends that you never know where they come from and make you feel so special.

I had the opportunity to visit the VMWorld's 10th Annual 2013 Defy Convention event on the day where the discussion was on Solution Exchange, Training and Education and the VMware Time Machine - I missed the game but it was fun to know that people had to express if they want to go backward or go forward in time perspective and why? 

It was amazing to see VMware and it's partners how they clubbed together and put up a brilliant show. My enthusiasm had no limit as I was witnessing other companies where some them I have worked for and some of them I am working with as they being our partners and vendors. Having a connection with them in one or the other way really puts you on the Cloud Sphere Horizons :)

I was thrilled and overwhelmed with the presentation and overall event management. As the day was getting over everyone was getting ready for the Party at AT&T Park. 

There were huge buses and many buses were arranged as shuttle for people to go from Mascone Center to AT&T Park for the party. 

To manage something of this level definitely a lot of money the company has spent and its for the people to come and learn and enjoy - what a goodwill thought. It gives me goosebumps as I write this line and that's how I feel about the company - Very Proud.

The exciting part was that I attended the concert of the two awesome bands - Dragon - a rock band from Sydney - where Todd Hunter (bass guitar, vocals), Pete Drummond (drums, vocals, keyboards), Mark William (vocals, guitar) were awesome to warm up the crowd. People were playing games on the field and winning toys and the band really kept up to the par to make people those moves as well.

The second one was Train - an American pop rock band from San Francisco, California. The band currently consists of a core trio of Pat Monahan, Jimmy Stafford, and Scott Underwood. It need not to say as they started the crowd went loco all the way and I couldn't resist when they started with 'Hey, Soul Sister' - I think one of my best event that I have attended in a long time.

As the night was turning into a beautiful queen, the pride of being part of this history was sinking in and was thanking for all the pieces of the puzzle that made this picture come into reality.

For a long time, I will remember this world of VM - which not only brings the company's product to launch but it brings people together.

I don't even know some of the people around who encouraged and wished good luck for the games and clapped when I won and some of them shared their own toys and batches and at the end I had a final ride on the field where I could yell out and bring out my sheer joy and excitement of the entire day.

Some moments in life are just to be THANKFUL!

We do not remember days, we remember moments…

Today I went around the places where I first landed and lived my initial period of life and it did remind me all the struggle days and those weak moments when I was home-sick and yet had the determination to make my place in this busy country.


It was very nostalgic and as the roads, street names and houses where I lived came across, it brought all memories live. I went through each place where I later rented, the place where I established myself in my career and finally the house that I bought in the city.

Today when I go through those areas, indeed I was in the heart of city where I lived but the con part of it that it has become old. The houses are same, people might have moved or passed on their heritage to their kids and what not. But there is no innovation. Couple of houses were re-built which did give the new look however city is always like that.

I felt content being in these places. I am satisfied with what I have and I really felt that I have moved on. To all my friends who got bored of my saying about things in Canada and the life about Canada…I guess this is it. I had to visit once to give a stop to my those feelings.

I am happy that this is the country and the city Toronto that I choose to be part of. It did help me in growing up in my life and career. It did teach me a different outlook of life and people. It did bring that element in me which made me think more than myself and gave me the opportunity to help people and love people in the way they are.

All this and more with experience I moved on in life towards USA to California with a new life and motto – and believe me I am happy.

Today I have this heart to say that I am happy where I am with my loved ones – in the heart of city where along with my loved ones I have mother nature to give solace and peace, new friends and new atmosphere to live on…I am thankful for everything.
Still with some nostalgic moments…yet a content heart…people move and progress in life only to leave the place with memories and more memories…

“We must always have old memories and young hopes”

Anywhere is paradise; it’s up to you ;-)

 

Visiting Niagara was a usual weekend activity for a person like me who never looked at what time or hour of the night it is.
Same spirit I have this time too – which made me feel I am still the same and not changed a bit. Quick decision making and preparing in the limited given time had always been my nature and I guess I find it thrilling.
My drive was amazing as going through the huge buildings made me realize how city gal I am and how I used to drive through these places so often.
Every thought was cherishing the old one and adding the new one to the current one. I always enjoyed the night part of Niagara as it lights up with lights and music bands. The winter never killed or took away the spirit of joy and fun – I witnessed it even today.
People covered with winter jackets, caps and mufflers and yet smiling and running away from the mist as it hit their faces.
Nature always gave solace to my heart in times then and even today. Speechless yet with mind full of thoughts. Unknowingly so many times it ran over to the past to present…the mist of life was getting spread all over and yet the feeling is refreshing.
Once again I felt like living in that freshness.

“By seeing the seed of failure in every success, we remain humble. By seeing the seed of success in every failure we remain hopeful.”

I always wondered what was that cold war between Canada and US and I always felt the attitude is what made them think about Americans.
This time coming from America looking at Canadians…I felt Canadians are more humble – no offense to any Americans but then coming from US this time I could relate it to one thing – People in Canada come as immigrants no matter how educated one is, they have to go through the struggle part of it which takes them from all ups and downs of life.
Americans do have immigrants too however, they are all well placed with jobs if not with status in the country – this small element does bring that big impact to one’s attitude.
To add to it when A Visa status moves to Green Card the attitude has no limits!
No matter what, one needs to go through a phase where it does bring the mankind to be down to earth and I think one gets there in Canada.

“Swallow your pride occasionally, it’s non-fattening!”

Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little

The other day I sent some ‘Thank You’ cards to few people, where I was impressed with there services. Though we all know that if you pay you get good service or you are supposedly to get a good service. However, now a days thing are so rare and uncertain that when people do show some justice and truthfulness towards there duties I feel like recognizing them and bringing it to there attention that they are doing a great job!

“I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks.” ~William Shakespeare

I had posted the cards and all of them were within California. The card’s address was as usual place where we write however the sent address I wrote at the bottom of the card on the right hand side, instead of left hand side top side of the card. Guess what, the card that I sent to someone else came back to me … lol!

“Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value”~ Albert Einstein

I was so zapped at this that are people so illiterate?, that they can’t even read properly as I had clearly written my address as ‘From’! I think anyone can or should make out that…and when I discussed this with some friends they said – oh, that’s coz you didn’t write the from address on the left side top of the card !!!!! Gosh! Now don’t tell me that’s the reason!!??!!

“I don't know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve” ~ Albert Schweitzer

It reminded me another incident which took place in India …not that am comparing but its very obvious when I say about the postal services of two country where expectation from US side is more :D! I had sent a letter within the city and I was not sure of the zip code/pin code and guess what instead of the letter coming back it was posted to the right address with a corrected zip code/pin code! This I came to know when I personally met that friend of mine!!!

“One act of beneficence, one act of real usefulness, is worth all the abstract sentiment in the world” ~ Ann Radcliffe

So its nothing to do with countries but people! A clear ignorance is the result what happened to the card that I sent to someone, got delivered to myself!

I always feel, if you are not happy with your job …go change it! Instead of causing problems to others and giving a bad image to the entire organization!

“The first duty of a human being is to assume the right functional relationship to society -- more briefly, to find your real job, and do it” ~ Charlotte Perkins Gilman

If you have taken an oath as an employee of any organization, one should not let impact the service that they are providing to so many people in the country.

This time I had to send this card again with all the changes that US post officials are used to, about the address :D

A unique experience which if I share with my Indian friends they will say – “what? Its US how come such things happen there…:D and we look so stupid even to give any reasons to them :D

“How far that little candle throws his beams!
So shines a good deed in a weary world.”
~William Shakespeare

But anyway I have a reason to celebrate as a new born baby completes his 28^th day ;) today!

“Think of the magic of that foot, comparatively small, upon which your whole weight rests. It's a miracle, and the dance...is a celebration of that miracle.” ~ Martha Washington