I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers ..!

I am coming back after a little long break. Actually there was a lot that was planned and so I had to work on those assignments.

But thank goodness, I finished all my commitments that needed the time and I am back here!!!!

Yesterday was Halloween's Day and like every year I dressed up too. This time it was money heist gang member. That was one of my favorite web-series so why not.

Halloween is celebrated each year on October 31st. The tradition originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. In the eighth century November first, was designated as a time to honor all Saints. Soon All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween.

"Trick or Treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street."

Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treat, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating treats.

Apart from the fun and festivities, Halloween has a deep meaning that tells us to face and embrace your inner demons. 

Anyhow, since I have left my country I have embraced these festivals like others and enjoy following the traditions.

When kids were small, I would dress with them and take them for trick or treat in the neighborhood and it was fun to see different and creative costumes thats kids and adults would wear and scare everyone in a funny way.

"A mask tells us more than a face." ~ Oscar Wilde

This year, we didn't go anywhere as kids felt they are grown up but still we all dressed up and gave candies to kids those came to our house asking trick or treat. It was fun to see things getting back to normal.

The new normal is going to be there now its just that we are getting used to it.

Happy Halloween greetings changes to Happy Diwali to All of you!!!

November first, is Vasu Baras - the day when the cows are worshipped and that marks the first day of Diwali.

May this Diwali bring happiness and good health in your lives.

~ Dawn 

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light...!

 A very sad day to hear early morning when I saw my brother messaged me about a friend, a neighbor who was admitted in ICU due to covid and he expired.

It was a shock. Not that I am not aware of covid and its consequences and how we have heard thousands and thousands lives have been lost due to covid but this came so close to someone that I knew since my childhood days.

I have no idea how this friend got it but all I want to say is its a serious virus and a deadly one. Because corona doesn't look for people, race, age, gender or religion, it just acts upon without discriminating anyone. May his soul Rest In Peace !!!

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" ~ John Lenon

I feel sad when I think about the person and how carefree yet happy he was. To write things in past tense is so tough as he consistently spread positive messages across the social media. Someone who was so lively was also not spared by this deadly virus so my friends please take care of yourself.

When you get sick from CORONA VIRUS, you will have fever, a high fever, the highest fever that you have ever had in your life. It is not going to be like the typical flu & fever. You're going to breathe slowly, like you've had a sponge stuck in your nose. When you'll try to fill the air in your lungs by inhaling heavily you will feel like you are still short of breath. And that will scare you. You are going to cough a lot, so much so that you're going to tire until you almost pass out. Every time you do it, your chest, arms, back, fingers, toes will hurt. You will try to catch air through the nose and you will not be able to. So, they are going to give you oxygen and it is going to burn the entrance to your nose, that is going to hurt even more. And if you can't breathe, another doctor will come and put a couple of half-inch tubes down your throat to get past the bronchi and into the lungs. That is called an artificial respirator. It is really disturbing n annoying, and on top of that, you cannot speak or eat. 

You will be alone in a closed room. You will not be able to see your partner, your mother, or your father, or your children that you love so much, or your brothers; because you are going to infect them with the same thing that is killing you.

 You will feel so alone that you will start to cry and you will be afraid of dying. You will think of the ones you love and you will cry even more, that will worsen everything hence shortness of breath. 

*THIS IS WHEN YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHY THEY TOLD YOU: "STAY AT HOME"

SO PLEASE STAY HOME FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES ❤

"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on" ~ Franklin D Roosevelt

~ Dawn

Life’s too short to miss out anything, try to take it slowly ;)

Since the pandemic has started, screen time has increased for everyone.

I am a movie fan and like to watch all kinds of movies, even if it is of foreign language I enjoy the story, and why not after all people are all same around the world even if they speak different language - they all have a story.

Every time I watch a foreign language movie, I remind myself I come from a country that has more than one language which is almost foreign for many.

Marathi language being my favorite, even though I was not raised as a Maharashtrian but growing up in a cultural city Pune which is blessed with craft, poetry, musical drama and literature, has had some impact on me too. I still remember watching Gajra - which had short story drama, Chimanrao - funny yet with morale at the end of each episode, Amchi Mati Amchi Manasa - it was more with the farming and farmers related but it also had entertainment skit and musical dramas, Kilbil - such many programs have enlightened and educated me about Marathi literature, arts, dance, drama, and Music through television which was one of the great entertainment device that we had in those days. 

"A different language is a different vision of life" ~ Federico Fellini

During this long weekend, when 'stay at home' is enforced as the number of cases in my county is increasing, watching movies and web-series is the new hobby besides hiking and spending time with Mother Nature.

Cycle is a light hearted simple family movie. The best part of watching movie is when you know the actors already (which means you have seen their work in other movies) and some which you only get to know them through the movie - either way its an amazing experience to know them though their characters and I have great admiration for the main character in this movie - Hrishikesh Joshi as Keshav who is very possessive of his bicycle which he got from his great grandfather. Of course the story is around the bicycle and Keshav but with this simple story also there is a great learning at the end. 

I felt these days we need such simple story of human live, the human behavior and the learning out of it. Keshav's journey teaches us that we shouldn't be so attached to worldly things and in doing so he finds real joy in life.

"Nature is pleased with simplicity. And nature is no dummy" ~ Isaac Newton

I loved this movie for its simplicity and the great learning about being minimalistic and yet be content and happy. This movie was screened during Cannes film festival in 2017. The movie has English subtitles and one will definitely enjoy this beautiful small village which is beautifully captured by Amalendu Chaudhary with is camera.

A sneak peak through this trailer could also help:

Cycle Trailer

Another one that I would like to share is about another Marathi movie - Firebrand. A movie written and directed by Aruna Raje - a well known in the industry with her talent but this movie is her come back after 15 years gap. 

This movie is a contemporary story of self- discovery and Usha Jadhav, a feminist divorce lawyer who is helping women suffering from domestic violence, rape, mental illness by fighting for their rights and giving justice to them in the court.

However she also has a life and her own relationship and trauma of life. This movie is a must watch for everyone as one can learn a lot about relationships, marriage, sex and love. This movie actually talks about things very openly and in a very well manner so that two individuals whether they are husband and wife or man and woman things can be discussed.

This movie teaches us how to not hold on to the past so much that it affects your present. Let it go, and let live the moment. A movie released in 2019.

"Learn to let go and be clear of where you really want to head for"

I loved the characters Usha Jadhav, Girish Kulkarni, and Sachin Khedekar played in the movie. Sachin Khedekar's movies and tv series I have watched before and I love his work. However, Usha Jadhav and Girish Kulkarni came out very strong and very much capturing performance. I have seen Girish Kulkarni in other movies but I guess he has not been given as main character in others that I have watched.

A sneak peak into this one Firebrand Trailer

Two movies that I watched this weekend and it has left an impact on me and kept me thinking about the movie. So definitely recommend this one to my readers, do watch!!!!

Enjoy the rest of the week and stay safe!!!

~ Dawn

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable ~ Mary Oliver

 When we all welcomed the year 2020, we had no clue as what is the future of 2020 that is stored for all of us. Did we?

May be here and there the news of COVID-19 was there but no one took it seriously. I remember I was traveling back to USA after my vacation and as I was transiting via HongKong I started noticing people wearing mask and I kind of got curious and worried. 

By the time it was February end, rumors started in the office about working remotely for few days and for a person like me who is a people person, I thought it will be a short period of time and hence never bothered to collect anything much from my office desk.

"2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and five years in April" ~ Unknown 😀

March we were told to work from home and then it became the new normal for all of us. Though, it took a while for everyone to get adjusted because I was taking my calls from my reclining chair though every morning I was getting up and dressing up as if I am going to office, except that I was sitting on the reclining chair and taking my calls. Few days was kind of fun as everyone is close by in the family. The much loved house bought in 2008, I was only now able to spend time fully to enjoy by spending time in the backyard, looking at the mountains from every room that I have in the house - it was a feeling that of a child getting holiday on a school day. 

Slowly the calendar started flipping, work started getting intense and deployment and releases started happening. A point came when there were happy hours on zoom I had to decline saying I need to step out of my zoom. Slowly I had to bring a working desk that can be raised up and down so I can stand and sit in between my work during the day.

Some workout planning inside the house and a daily walk in the neighborhood since the restrictions in my county got induced my walk near the creek got restricted too. 

"After all the stupid things I have done in my life, If I die because I touched my face, I am gonna be pissed." ~ Unknown 😱

Every possible adjustments were done to make sure during this pandemic time we stay healthy mentally, physically and emotionally as well - it was a very conscious decision that let us plan our day to day life. One thing is clear, if time comes there is nothing that we cannot adjust to. But I can only say that we are privileged and not everyone is. 

There might be people who must be living in an apartment where stay at home can make you go crazy and on top of that domestic violence or even the mental health issues all these could come as a drastic challenge and I often thought of those who I know are in that situation. I have tried to reach out and talk and similarly caring for your neighbors, while going to the grocery store making sure they have everything or if anything to be bought for them. This 2020 year was a testing period for everyone though it came as a surprise.

A time came when celebrations were with family but we exchanged sweets and cookeries with neighbors and loved ones that we could. A glimpse of happiness let us survive the year and 2021 came with a hope.

"2020 is the strictest parent I ever had" ~ Unknown

A hope there will be a vaccine came in as true and its so amazing to hear when the forefront workers are getting these vaccines, our senior citizens getting them too make it more to look forward.

My New Year came in with lot of changes, I got into a new role with a new team though same company but it is so exciting to look forward to a change. 

"Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now' ~ Hamilton 🙏

As a family I think we loved the time that we spend with each other. The lessons learned during this time is for a life time and believe me we all who have survived this 'new normal' will still be there. 

The new year eve was something that I was not very excited and what to do just stay at home but as the night started unfolding I called my parents wished them and it was more to look forward. A hope that I will get to travel to see them this year. That one hope gives you immense energy and enthusiasm to look forward month after month and with the new role and working with some energetic techies in the team life is adding more colors to it.

It is the new normal way of living even though we have the vaccine available which will slowly reach to everyone yet, this is the new normal and we will have to get used to our mask and sanitizers. But I am sure it will be good if we can travel with all these.

A hope is something we must carry with us along with our masks and sanitizers.

"We either make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. The amount of work is same." ~ Carlos Castaneda 

Happy 2021 to all my readers!!!!

~ Dawn

Be willing to change because life won’t stay the same.. Happy New Year 2021

 

As the new year is unfolding, a retrospective of this year definitely makes sense to me. 

At work many times, Engineering is heading to deliver and hence to pause after each sprint to have a retrospective is often ignored or passed on for next time. And often we forget the value that it adds to each one in the team.

"It is fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure" ~ Bill Gates

I believe its always good to have a retrospective which can always enlighten us because we often don't think much when we are doing something and it often shows how dynamically we work under high-pressure. Similarly year 2020 was a roller coaster ride for everyone around the world.

I am sure like every year, this year also analysts will have their retrospective but how are we individuals looking at it?

One thing I was happy that this year beginning I was with my loved ones and my parents hence could spend some quality time with everyone. It was the beginning of corona year, by the time I reached home in California.

The way we say it was in the air and so was in the news but were we scared or prepared? No!

By the time I came from India and rejoined with my team at work, stay at home was induced and we all were planning to work from home.

I was prepared but I always thought it would be a short period of time and then we all will be back to normal. This is how it is taught in the Defense, one may be on vacation but be ready to go to the war whenever there's a call from your unit and that can be anytime.

"Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision and change." ~ Richard Branson

And I was so confident about this going back to normal, that everyday I woke up and dressed up as if I am going to work and got into my usual calls and meetings. 

I was never worried about a bad hair or bad dressing day as I was always ready for anytime video calls because I am at work and so I should be ready - isn't it?

The weeks turned into months and I figured that my movements are getting restricted because of my work, and my schedules. Well, a routine is a must and hence my daily walks kicked-in, and after my meeting whenever I got a chance I came to my backyard spent time looking at the mountains, the orange tree, the guava tree, the oak and the chirping birds would grab my attention as they would jump on the roof to grab the worms.

During this time, lot of things happened while many were dying due to corona virus. I developed new hobbies such as bird watching and learning about them and taking care of them in my backyard. 

Everyday after my breakfast I change their water and make sure the feeder is filled with seeds and they all recognize me today when I do that. Its a friendly relation with nature which I always built no matter which part of the world I lived in.

"The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation." ~ Vernon Howard

Healthy eating and exercising is my way of living and hence that continued but one blessing in disguise that happened was I got to stay at home and enjoy my home which never happened before. Because I am always at work and weekends mostly we would travel out locally or long trips during long weekends. 

This pandemic gave me the opportunity to look and feel each corner of my house and mainly not inside but outside of my home. Nature has so much to offer I was able to share it with my family too.

The Birthdays, Festivals, Thanksgiving, Team celebrations and lunches, Christmas celebrations you name it, everything was celebrated well with food, drinks and dessert and most of them were cooked at home with family being together in the kitchen. How fun is that!!! 

Life is what we can give and life in return rejoices us. 

Giving and taking care is what I have learned always and this year was nothing new, rather it enforced everyone to think through and follow the norms.

This year many life perished due to pandemic and or due to many other reasons. Some close ones and known ones have died and it has only made me worry more for my loved ones that are alive.

There is only one life and if we live selflessly and care and share what we have with others it will only multiply the happiness and friends.

I wish we all don't miss any learnings from this year 2020 and carry those into 2021 with more gratitude, empathy and consistent in keeping everyone safe and healthy by wearing mask and social distancing!!!

"A man should be never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying ... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday." ~ Alexander Pope

Happy New Year 2021!!! 

Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings ! 

~ Dawn

The Legend will be living forever in our hearts

Today is a very sad day indeed! The first news that I read was about Diego Maradona died at the age of 60. One of the two joint winners of the FIFA player of the 20th century awardee, who played 585 matches, 9 club trophies and 311 goals scored, has become a star in the sky forever.

"To see the ball, to run after it, makes me the happiest man in the world" ~ Diego Maradona

I am a die-hard fan of him since childhood. Being a hockey player I always admired his dribbling and ball control skills which I often tried with my hockey sticks as well.

Coming from a country then in India Football was popular too as Cricket is. It used to be like a season one after the other sports and watching international matches on Television was so much fun.

Television was not something everyone could afford or have and hence it used to be a match that we friends and family watch on Television just like one is watching from the stadium and the cheering and supporting teams excitement and thrill always added a galore to the whole event.

"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success" ~ Diego Maradona 

Small wins and those thrill dances when Maradona used to kick into the court for goal - I can only imagine those memories in mind. Some beautiful memories that Maradona has given to generations and to the football lovers. 

I was so much connected to him which I never realized until now when the news is still sinking that he is no more !!!!

Even now when FIFA world cup matches were happening I used to look for a glimpse of him in the audience and often felt bad to see his health conditions.

I was hoping everything will be alright after his discharge but I guess 2020 had to play its own game and like he said once, 'Certainly, one day we'll kick a ball together in the sky above!!'

Diego, we will miss you in person on the grounds and in stadium but you will always be in our heart living as a legend.

As Thanksgiving holidays start at this side of the world, I would like to Thank You Diego for giving us wonderful memories to cherish life long. Whenever and wherever the name of football will come, your name will shine first Maradona!

"My mother things I am the best. And I was raised to always believe what my mother tells me." ~ Diego Maradona

~ Dawn

“Some things can only be perceived one way because they only have one meaning..”

 It's been a while since we all are stuck at home. Even though it's not a complete lockdown in California, there's not much motivation to go out all the time either.

Besides work and daily walks, one thing that kept me busy was watching web series on OTT platform. It's a continuous hunt as what else is there to watch. And when I finished almost all sources, one evening I happened to click The Crown series and I got hooked on to it.

The reason I got hooked on to it was the English language which I missed after moving to America and then I felt lot of historical events that I read in my history classes had some background story which I could relate through these series.

"Who wants transparency when you can have magic? Who wants prose when you can have poetry?"

As one watches these series episode by episode, there is lot of insight behind the royal monarchy and some of their traditions and some of their beliefs which they probably wanted the world to know and some not too. It's a series one can take it with a pinch of salt, if I may say!

I am going to share my feel about the series and these are only my thoughts and nothing else.

While starting the first season, I felt sorry for the Queen Elizabeth II for getting into this high demanding job profile at that tender age. Because I related at that age what a kid would like to do, their aspirations and dreams and when Parents even directed them to follow certain aspect of their wishes, many have rebelled and many who have followed have later got out of that cage. She had no escape and specially when she gets bullied by her own family members for not knowing much of the world affairs and general knowledge. It made me feel awkward that she was only 4th grade and then she learned through a tutor but imagine she never studied Math or Science whereas I grew up where nothing is possible without Math and Science. 

"To do nothing is often the best course of action, but I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be. History was not made by those who did nothing."

I also felt for her when Winston Churchill the then Prime Minister, how he looked at her for her age and her inexperiences but she didn't get discouraged instead learned from the wise.

The Queen was not expressive of her emotions when it was towards her children, something I didn't understand and if you look at it the problem that Prince Charles was having for not getting that motherly care and love like any other normal kid could have. If Queen was like Diana not hesitating to show her affection to her kids things would have been different.

At times, I felt the Queen was deliberately not showing any affection as if her emotions will show her as a weak person. I am sure that's the old school thinking because vulnerability is a leadership skill, not a weakness but now its too late.

Her Sister Princess Margaret seemed like a spoilt brat and I felt the Mother Queen was also sad that she didn't get to rule too long as all rights and privileges went to the Queen Elizabeth II her older daughter but I guess power and position can make any relation fragile and weak if the seekers are out only for that.

"In a rush to heal wounds you end up committing yourself to something, someone that isn't quite right."

The husband Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh born in royal family but sad story at the family front and yet got everything by being the husband of the Queen. At times you will feel sorry for him and at times you will feel things happen for a reason.

I mean the time when the astronauts were visiting the Palace, he specially asking for 15 minutes with them in person and not meeting them in a group tells a lot where he wanted to prove that he is someone above all these Royal family and he is superior as he is a pilot and has interest in space related activities. But as soon Neil Armstrong says, ask the questions that he wanted to ask, Prince Philip was not able to do so. There was a dilemma in accepting that common people are the ones who landed on the Moon and they are no royal or have any such show-off as supposed to what was in Prince Philip's mind and then we see he going to his faith and feels happy with the priest who later became his friend. That made me think of himself like a lost guy.

Any how I didn't think very high of him the way he treated his son Prince Charles and also by sending him to the school where he went and the bullies that a child had to go through, which Prince Charles later said was like a hell on earth.

"We're all dying. That's what defines the condition of living."

Till now, I am sympathizing with Prince Charles but not after he is grown up because I felt he is always doing his victim cry and demands attention and the one gave he fall for them.

It was good to hear another familiar character Louis Mountbatten - the once Governor General of India and it was funny he giving Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru's reference on and off. 

I felt he was a father figure to Prince Philip and to Prince Charles but sad ending.

Sometimes these series actually take the curtain off of people's face as what they are and what they claim to be. I just googled about him and read a whole lot about him and little boys.

Coming to Prince Charles, I felt he always have his victim cry and probably that's the reason he always demanded to be cared and loved like a baby!

The whole rule book seemed like is for the Queen because besides her everyone was into infidelity, extra-marital affairs, divorce etc.

"Where there is heroism there will always be hope."

But the whole drama of Prince Charles and Princess Diana... I don't know what to say because I think I was there when it started and when it ended too. I mean I was in school that time and saw their fairytale wedding on tv and now when everything unfolded in these series it all looks like a mockery.

The family know their son is in love with another woman still they don't let them to marry and then that woman marries another lover of hers and still continues the affair. And while the affair is on the Prince decides to marry so that he can give a Princess to the royal family. It was like an open book for everyone inside the family except the world felt that it's a fairytale.

"In the first flush of romantic love, we're all blind. We see only what we want to see."

As a young teenage girl Diana, getting all excited to be part of the royal family may be she didn't know what she is getting into and probably by the time she realized what was going on and even after her trying to keep the family and marriage intact, when things really didn't work out she probably went like any other person looking for her escape from all these issues.

"That's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along and you realize it was actually happiness after all."

But it was funny to see how every time Prince Charles wanted to marry his love Camila who was already married and when he asks her to leave her husband and marry him, she gives the reason that it is not good for anyone to break the marriage but she has feelings for him. That moment I wondered didn't Charles even had a slightest thought that she is a player too?

At this point I was lost as what is she interested in? I always got the feel from the series that she only petted Charles and probably he also wanted that.  

One more thing was clear from what the Queen said, you have to make your adjustments, meaning she was fine with Prince Philip going to other women as long as that's done in hidden way and not impacting their marriage - seemed very mechanical and superficial relationship. She had to have a deal each time to keep him in the marriage. 

There was no rights for women even though the Queen herself is a woman. Men can go to other women but women cannot.

It only makes one think of, what if everyone had given their way of choosing life - how would things look today?

Probably the Queen Elizabeth wouldn't be the queen today.

"Some things can only be perceived one way because they only have one meaning."

I have to admit and appreciate the craft, crew, casting, script and performance by each one in this series is amazing. I very much loved everyone for being in their character fully. 

I had only one thing to say that I didn't like that the Queen Claire Foy was replaced by Olivia Colman and Prince Philip Matt Smith was replaced by Tobias Menzies, and so on so forth. It was hard to reconnect with the characters and get to the flow that one starts in the beginning of this series. I wish it was one artist playing their role through out...it connects one with the artists as well and the characters.

"Who we are is not what we wear or what glitters. It's the spirit that defines us."

~ Dawn

Life is nothing but...

When you find your demerits,

And accept it then you put all effort,

To change them and make it work for you,

Similarly something happened with me too,

When I saw that my colleagues in telemarketing,

Were better than me, I put all my effort in learning,

With hard-work and dedication I became sales champ,

Initially my job used to be from 4 pm to 11 pm,

With my performance, I got three more projects added,

Into my portfolio for selling on the phone,

Now I work from 8 am to 11 pm 

Work, work, work, sell, sell, sell, products and products,

If you trust your product, it's easier to sell,

Every call of mine started becoming a sale,

Something which I never even thought in my dreams,

To be a top sales representative on phones for cold calls,

That too the products were, credit cards, insurance, electricity,

Long-distance calling packages, Phone companies,

I had never imagined people would buy these on the phone,

But it was the truth, and I believe like they say,

If you sell from your heart the other heart will listen to it,

One floor to the next floor and so forth,

I became famous in the office building,

Many became my friends, and admirers,

So many shared their love and some got rejections,

It's true success brings happiness and love too,

I don't have greed and never did had then either,

Life is to live in the moment and so I lived my moment,

I always had a dream to watch in person India playing cricket,

And that day has arrived too as I read Toronto Star newspaper,

I had decided on Sunday, I am going to watch the match in person,

Monday to Saturday was my work in the Call Center,

It was an hourly job for $10, it was like grasping at straws,

On top of that I was selling few products from 8 am to 11 pm,

It was India and Pakistan Sahara-Cup friendly match in 1997,

I was able to see Sachin - the God of Cricket and Azhar then Captain,

My dream Azhar batting on the field was a mesmerizing moment,

Me common person and they well-known famous celebrities,

Shaking hands with each-other and asking well-being of each other,

Ravi Shastri the commentator too was an interesting in person,

Dada- Saurav Ganguly- that moment still in my heart and mind,

Indian and Pakistani players together in warm-up sessions,

Helping each-other during warm-ups and net practice,

Life is nothing but only love, that's how I see this world!

~ Dawn

This was my first experience!

Living  alone has its own fun,

Fun and despair at the same time,

But if you have a goal in mind,

Nothing can distract you from it,

My goal was to stay there and learn,

Wanted to focus on my sales in Call Center,

Took the training very seriously and,

Understood the product better to sell,

Analyzed the benefits of it for self,

One thing was sure about me 

If I have really liked the product,

I am definitely going to sell easily,

I have always sold products from my heart,

Without cheating and without putting pressure,

I never had a confidence that I will sell anything,

But here, I was making sales 30 everyday,

My job was a bit strange as a telemarketer,

It starts at 4 pm and ends at 11 pm at night,

I used to reach to people where its no 9 pm yet,

I have heard and seen door-to-door sales,

But selling on the phone as telemarketing,

This was my first experience!

~ Dawn

Learn to adjust...

The way the training was going on,

It was clear its a sales job, you have to sell,

My situation wasn't such that,

I could say 'no' and walk-out from there,

I used to feel that's rude and mean to say,

But for me there wasn't any option either,

I had heard education is very expensive here,

I was lucky to to get learn about sales technique,

And whatever came in my way I learned,

It will come useful everywhere,

After two days of tough training,

We were sent to the call center to sell,

When earlier everyone was telling me to opt for sales job,

Because I can speak English and should try my luck there,

But I can't even imagine myself selling as I freak out, even now,

Till now there was no need of office going clothes,

As in the restaurant I had uniform and apron,

Here I will have to go in professional attire,

So I shared my dilemma with the Maharashtrian lady,

She took me to a Goodwill's store,

Here people donate their clothes and that's washed and sold here,

I bought a few for myself to wear in the office,

The lady wasn't that happy with everything going,

Not sure what was the issue was it I left the job or will I earn more now?

Anyhow, I had to move out of that place,

As the lady had given the ultimatum to find my own,

I looked around an apartment for rent at 

St Dennis Drive on the 8th floor,

At least here it will be my world and my ways,

Initially I was scared as I was still new here,

I never lived alone so far here,

As I landed I was at Pastor's house and then this lady,

I really want to thank both of them for my experience,

Today anyone asks, I suggest not to live with roommates,

If you want to stay, stay alone or else

Learn to adjust with roommates !

~ Dawn

You got to take risk in life...!

In all my effort and risks that I took,

No one ever encouraged me ever here,

Everyone say don't leave the cashier job,

At least you're at restaurant where you get food,

I feel either people are happy in what they are doing,

Or else they are scared of taking risks,

My problem was my boredom for sure,

But at least I should work as per my education,

Otherwise how would I challenge myself

How would I learn something and teach something,

Life was becoming difficult and depressing too,

I had to challenge myself and take some risks,

To feel life and live from a new point of view,

For me challenges were living life,

With the lady I had good and bad days,

The lady didn't like me looking for better opportunities,

Overall after living for three and half months,

The lady asked me to find my own way,

She insisted and took me to a place for renting apartment,

I had to pay 200 dollars deposit to get apartment in two weeks,

When I followed up there was no phone and no company,

The person did collect money from many and ran off,

All this and the behavior of lady left a bad taste in mouth,

In all this my training had started and I bid farewell from Movenpick,

Some were worried for me as how I will be?

And some thought I was brave,

Well you got to take risk in life,

Or else what would you get?

~ Dawn

Never let courage to drown in anyway...!

During this time I never gave up,

I was trying for a better prospectus,

Where I can enjoy the work and learn more,

A salary where I could meet my ends and save too,

After all to dream is not a crime!

I used to send my resume to many places,

And I would get rejection letters from there,

But I never gave up sending resume was my job,

One day a call came through for me,

It was an interview call with question and answer!

Everything was good as per the interviewee

But he felt I don't have a Canadian experience,

I also was prompt to say, give me an opportunity,

To show experience am sure you must be once in same shoes,

One opportunity every immigrant should get to be lucky!

I got an opportunity to meet the Vice President,

Interview went well had good discussion but still,

Vice President felt I will use this as stepping stone,

Later I will look for better prospectus and 

You will look for better positions as time comes,

And so sorry, we won't be able to appoint for this!

I have seen sunrise and also seen sun setting,

But I have never given up, kept sending those resumes,

There was a light at the end of the tunnel 

From Mastech company almost like signing the papers 

But something went wrong with them and it was gone too!

Like this many sunsets I witnessed during that period,

But then the Sun comes up everyday without fail, 

Same way I never let my courage to drown in anyway,

Then there was a call for training prior to hiring for a job,

Here I got the training and then the call center job too!

~ Dawn

Save your own life first

Let's look at my job that time,

A Cashier's job is not just counting money,

In fact cooking, sweeping the floor, washing dishes,

Many times I felt what have I achieved coming this far,

In a developed country my degree would be of some use I thought,

But here immigrants have to prove their caliber,

Well, let me tell you what happened one day,

One Saturday in Summer time, 

Restaurant was packed with tourists from across 

Business was good that day with collections,

My cash tray was filled with American dollars,

While helping a customer at the cash counter,

A hand came from behind on the cash tray,

The moment I saw the hand I caught him,

That hand grabbed the money from the tray,

He was trying to run with that cash,

How would I allow him to run with that cash?

After all I grew up in National Defense Academy,

How could I let him go so easily

I just caught him in all enthusiasm from behind,

He was seven feet tall guy and his shirt was in my hand,

I was only 5 feet 4 inches but I had no less energy and excitement,

With bravery I caught the thief and also released him,

If it was India where a girl catches a thief 

Everyone will come to rescue and help to catch the thief,

At least India was like that when I grew up there,

Well, after catching the thief I called for my manager Peter

Since he didn't showed up and rest of the people were watching the scene,

I said to the thief, go man its your day,

I went inside and asked the manager you didn't come to help?

The thief has robbed the money and left,

Manager without an eye contact, said he was busy,

Well, he was having his pasta at that time,

Here things were different I was kind a crazy for them,

The cops came and inquired and investigated,

There was a scratch on my hand with the nail of that thief,

Cop said, you're lucky that you're alive,

If he had a gun in his pocket and if he had aimed at you?

That day I learned a lesson there,

No matter what happens save your own life first,

Here no one cares for anyone, everyone mind their own business,

I reached home that evening when I came to know it was on TV,

A brave India girl got saved from getting killed!

~ Dawn

Sun is never the same from dawn to dusk..

At King street we were only a week

Then we shifted to condominium,

Here I didn't have a room for self,

I was sharing with the 9 year old kid,

Time used to pass very well with the kid,

Now after work I used to go day time work

At the restaurant where lady's husband worked,

Big cities, big restaurants had all this show-biz,

But only the employees who work their know, 

The real story of their life with minimum wages,

It was like people had only one dream how to add hours,

Drop by drop the hours will pay more 

But then it comes around there you earn more,

You pay tax more to the government,

But then if you earn less how would you manage expense,

The whole world is grinding under this,

I had a good job in India which I left

I wondered is this why I came all the way here?

I was not happy with this and this is the only job I have,

As per the lady, she kept pestering you shouldn't leave this,

I used to feel bad for such discouragement,

I used to consider them as family,

The lady used to go to work during the day,

Her hubby would leave in the evening to return at 4 am,

To make both ends meet this was the job,

I had decided I won't be at this job for long,

I gave myself four months to find another job,

The daughter used to like me we were friends,

We used to spend time talking discussing and playing,

Lady used to be insulting sometimes with her behavior,

Her parents were visiting and they loved me 

But the lady didn't invite me for her daughter's birthday,

She didn't want to invite me as I had less salary and a small job,

But the mother invited with love and affection,

She mentioned you are part of this family,

You must come for the birthday party,

I respected the mother and so went for the party,

Took a small gift for the little girl,

Lady after seeing me said, I didn't invite you

Because you may not have money to buy gift,

I still remember the expression and moment of that time,

One doesn't have to be in a situation forever,

Things change and one gets an opportunity to change,

The husband and the daughter were nice and polite to me,

Probably in this country I was scared to live alone,

I still decided to stay their and ignored everything else,

When lady had to get groceries she would be nice and polite,

I used to fall for those and help getting bags of rice and potatoes  

We used to go in bus to get these from far and carry the weight alone,

In all this if I get delayed to give rent because I couldn't get the cash,

She would really mess up my day with taunts,

In the beginning things were good but as time started moving,

The lady's behavior was different and disrespectful,

I used to wash the pots nice and shiny 

Since then that became my job,

Sometimes I would forget all this and make Indian crepe dosa,

I used to give hair massage and shoulder massage when they asked,

But then even Sun is never the same from dawn to dusk,

So I believed myself that my time will also turn into good!

~ Dawn