A Monday to remember 🥰

It’s Monday, and I’m on summer shutdown at work this week — a rare day with nothing on my calendar. “Since you’re free, why don’t you come to my office?” Rhea suggested. And just like that, I had my plans for today. 

As I walked into her workplace, memories flooded back — the times I’d take all three of my little ones, Rahi, Rhea, and our beloved cocker spaniel Reyna, to the VMware campus for visits. How the roles have shifted.

Today, it was my daughter showing me around — giving me a tour of the Nvidia campus, the cafeteria, and sharing lunch together. A quiet moment of pride.

Before I left, I added my signature doodle on the whiteboard by her desk — a little tradition that continues.

Mondays like this? I’ll take them any day 🥰.

~ Dawn

Priorities over conveniences

Do you ever feel that twenty four hours is not enough? Yesterday was one of those days for me and I am sorry I couldn't blog yesterday.

Yesterday being Tuesday, I know my morning till noon are busy with meetings. And when these meetings are about the work items that need to be delivered by end of this month, I had to do more drilling with the team so that I know exactly how much work is remaining and if we are still going to make it or not.

I am also working with two different teams to prioritize the interdependencies and hence the time was too less to get everything done. On top of all this, I have to do my self-evaluation and you know how that goes because you have to remember all the work you did last year until now.

"Be ambitious. Get things done. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up." 😜

Health and family comes first for me always, so my five mile hike is something that I never miss and cooking healthy food in case I am able to make it to the kitchen before my husband gets in there 😊! Because if he gets in then I don't have to worry he will take care of the dinner.

But I had some other assignment work that came in and it has writing exercise and need to be submitted by next week.  Because it needs lot of research work, I wanted that frog to be eaten first so that I have a draft ready minimum so that I could work on it later.  I have a course which is two days per week and yesterday was the first day so I couldn't miss that one as I needed to complete the first exercise on the console and I didn't want to be behind from class.

"Like it or not, the world evolves, priorities change and so do you." ~ Marilu Henner

By the time I finished all that, it was almost midnight and I went to bed.

I consciously decided I will skip writing the post and yes, I did feel a little bad but yesterday was something I couldn't do all of them.

This morning, when I got up I decided I will write it down things to do and follow that sequence. I have noticed these days I get easily distracted and I was trying to make sure I stick to my 'to-do' list and not get carried away with social media and other news.

I am sure we all have those time-management and priority list and I used to be a mentor for the interns at work and other places helping on these topics. But I realize lately I am getting distracted a lot.

I realize making a daily to-do list puts me into discipline and hence that's my goal now on.

"Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters." ~ Margaret Peters

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Not every sorry deserves an "It's Okay" in return

It's so true that one person has to be courageous and come out and then others automatically gain the confidence and courage to come and share their story.
Yes, I am talking about the #MeTooMovement that has taken like a huge storm and I hope its just the beginning.

As I was reading news and on social media about women being harassed at work place or even looked at as a piece of meat, it just gives you to reflect about so many things that has happened in your own life.
Women has the toughest job to do and that is if she doesn't want to be dependent on anyone financially and she takes up a job in a company - then its basically means you're on your own. Because if you complain then the response is 'you better stay at home'.

I know there are many women who have been home makers for this reason. When a woman at work is harassed by her manager and she tries to stop him many times and yet he never stops. It reaches to a point where your colleagues ask you if you're okay because you keep going into you manager's room who keeps calling you in his room for 1 on 1s and you end up going each time because each time he says its about the project and this stress you share at home, it's not necessary that she will get a support from her loved ones saying, lets talk about it or do something about it. They will still let her go to that same workplace, to that same manager and its that same environment where she is being sent.

"We have to have the courage to tell people when their behavior or the way they talk makes us uncomfortable."

Financial support is something a woman tries to do for her family where her thinking is mainly to support her husband and family. When a husband doesn't have a job or has a business which doesn't bring in much income the support system is on the woman. At such time when she is being harassed by her manager at work, what options she has: tell at home and see what they suggest? If there is no suggestion then you know what it means, or you change your job, but whats the guarantee the next manager is going to be good? You're taking a chance but until you find another job you're stuck with the present manager because your family depends on you.

"At the end of the day, don't forget that you're a person, don't forget that you're a mother; a wife and a daughter." ~ Indira Nooyi

Women will suffer for her family and why only women? Because women are raised that way from the beginning. They are taught you're born strong so do all the hard work and yet any issue comes just be quiet and move on because women are supposed to not complain and if it's about men then oh! no!!! never complain about them because women are such a piece of meat that they will be blamed but men won't be blamed and the bad name will come to the women.
She shared with few friends and they said, 'Complain it to Human Resources, but then no idea if the next manager wants to hire you because this will be in the system. They might keep the manager because he is an employee and then they might fire you as you are a contractor".

"Show respect even to the people who don't deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours." ~ Dave Willis

Here the harassment from the manager and no security or help from husband - both are men and what should this woman do? If anyone has an answer then do comment!  

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

~ Dawn

BALANCE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU FIND, IT'S SOMETHING YOU CREATE..!

There was a time when we had a bifurcation between professional and personal life. Then eventually the fast pace caught up in such a way that the bifurcation line started fading away and probably the 'work-life' balance kicked in.

It's interesting how life long humans get groomed for a job - when you are a kid, you have to go to school to study well to score good in subjects that will help you to get admission in good colleges and from there to professional ones so that you get a good job which is well paying huh!
When you do get into the job, for the growth in the company one goes through so many training. This could be training in communication skills, behavioural and managerial skills, crucial conversation and if you're a manager then to enhance your people's manager skills one will go through unconscious bias training etc. 
All this effort is to have a good communication skills based on your audience, build relationship with your colleagues or manager by having those crucial conversations where you speak your mind and heart so that the other person reacts to it with more understanding and the best is that you make sure unconsciously you are not bias with your team or anyone at work. 

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" :)

If we say work-life balance is important, family and love is important in life, spending time with loved ones is what life's all about then why not we go through trainings to improve this phase of life?
I mean these days there are so many trainings involved at work that one can easily apply these skills and methodologies to their personal life too. 
Communication skill, now tell me how many of you have issues where your spouse might be talking in a tone that upsets you or gives an indication that they are irritated or unhappy. How do you convey this to them in a simpler manner so that they don't get offended but get the message across so that they can change their tone or way of communication?
Same way, how do one explain that what they think best as their behaviour, expression of love, that is not actually perceived the same way by the other spouse? Because at work we do hear that everyone has a perception about themselves as what people might think about them, and then people have a different perception about you which could be totally different than what you think you are. 

"Truth is universal. Perception of truth is not. The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. If the doors of the perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite".

It's always good to have that open and transparent communication between relationships as well. People have issues and that's just not surprising because everyone is different and no one has to be like someone else just because they have no other option. In fact for healthy relationship whether it's at work or personal life all relationships have to be maintained in one or the other way and if that is with respect and equality then it brings all kinds of fairness in it.

People have ego going to marriage counsellors because the reality may come out when two spouse will discuss about each other's behaviour. If you are so self-centered then might as well take these professional courses which will help you to shape in a good human being. Because people are different when they are at work and they can be a total different individual when they are at home. There's always a dual-personality within that you carry and it is well controlled and selective behaviour which individuals elect to play.
A perfect example is of the former Apple engineer Neha Rastogi - hasn't she brought up the abusive nature of her spouse openly no one would have known the other side of Silicon Valley CEO Abhishek Gattani. There are so many who suffer quietly sometimes for the sake of kids, sometimes for the society and sometimes the emotional attachments. Is it worth? 
We always hear at work if you are not getting what you are looking for in your career, and you are not happy then pave your path to success by choosing what you want then why can't the same be applicable in personal life of individuals?

"Fairness is protecting not only you but all who are involved"

~ Dawn