I may regret the way we ended, but I will never regret what we had!

This is my first post of this year. New Year twenty twenty two as much I thought is exciting and hopeful, it just went exactly opposite and it's only the first week of the New Year and I am terrified and sad because we had to put our dear and loving furry baby Reyna down yesterday (January fifth).

We rescued a five year old Cocker Spaniel female dog who comes from a puppy mill. As much we loved her, she also adopted us dearly. Slowly our life started revolving around her and we lived happily ever after until this New Year when she started having diarrhea and the Vets couldn't figure out what it was as all the blood reports came normal and x-rays didn't show anything concerning and in days she lost so much fluid from her body that we had to take her to emergency.

We tried our best to get her cured but in the ultrasound the Vets found gut disease which is incurable and hence surgeries would not help either and hence putting her down in sleep peacefully was a decision that probably I have taken in my life for the first time.

Yes, tough decisions sometimes bring the results immediately and may be good in the long run but probably has a bigger impact.

Life will go on but it will never be the same without Reyna the queen of our family.

"But nothing makes a room feel emptier than wanting someone in it." ~ Calla Quinn

I am hoping time will heal my family and we will rebound back.

Let's see what else is stored in twenty twenty two!!!

I hope the world becomes safer for everyone around.

~ Dawn

The mother of nation...!

A heart to Give

A soul to Nurture

She had this in her

As a young woman

She fought for others

Who needed her shelter

A voice for others and

She found her soulmate

In all these grounds

Who also fought for

Apartheid, married

And lived separated

In Jail, she took his baton

Became the voice of defiance

Those who did nothing

Under apartheid

Never made mistakes

She was loved and called

The mother of nation

Who said goodbye!

#WinnieMadikizelaMandela

#happypoetrymonth

~ Dawn

The Ones That Love Us, Never Really Leave Us!

Today is a sad day! This morning when Dad called and said that my Uncle (Mom's brother), expired I was more like a professional receiving a bad news and handling the situation very sensibly. I even told my Dad, tell Mom not to think too much as Uncle has been suffering a lot lately and we all should think it's a relief for him from all his pains.

Like we all do some news takes time to sink in. My mind unconsciously was processing this news though I was attending meetings and adding value to come up with a business decision. Even when I went to the gym I was telling myself I am going to release all my stress here.

I came back to my desk and while having lunch I wrote a note to my cousins

"Heard the news... Don't know what to say I grew up with him. All my childhood memories are covered with him... It's sad yet feel good that I was able to meet him when he was serious first time... I will always cherish the best and will feel happy for having such a Ammavan (Uncle) in my life who was a kid with me when I was a kid and he walked through with me as a friend, guide, advisor always ♥... I don't want anyone to feel sad because being so good he suffered a lot in the past 21/2 years and he needed this rest but he pulled along because of the love that he has with all of us. Peace and Love"

As soon I wrote this tears rushed into my eyes, as if the writing made me to sink in that news and I was all of a sudden feeling that a big part of my childhood is gone and now it's only memories.
I couldn't stop at that as things started rolling in mind... 

He was very close to my Mom and then when I was born he really spoiled me. My first time eating beef that too in Jayanti Janata Express train, I remember writing a post on this.
I was always a special niece for him as all my other cousins either they are scared of him or out of respect they will never come in front of him.

I was always different because I never believed that one needs to be away from someone you love and respect. I remember how my Uncle used to play pranks with me and he used to lift me by my legs and put my head down hanging. All this circus I used to enjoy while my Grandma used to get worried.
There are so many memories that it just brings the moment live in front of my eyes.

I remember one time when my neighbor friend called me to give him company to go to the nearby grocery store to get some item for his mom to cook in the kitchen and I agreed to go with him.
It was not dark as sun was still there however, sun was planning to set and by the time we came back it was little dark and my Mom was waiting for me with a stick in hand. That day my uncle was visiting us and he was also standing next to my Mom.
The moment I saw both of them, I knew I am going to get it today and that too a good one.
I started apologizing from far and said Mom, please don't hit me I will never go again. But my Uncle came forward and by holding my hand he brought me closer to Mom and said but this is important so that you remember very well next time. I was totally surprised at that. He always  pampered me and always supported me in everything but this time it was different. 
I wondered what happened, but yes he cared for me dearly and never wanted me as a kid to be in a crowded place that too without my parents or guardians when it was about to get dark.

The best thing about life is that small incidents no matter how old it is the person makes it special and memorable that no matter how old you get it remains fresh in mind as if it happened yesterday.

I have spent a very good portion of my childhood with my Uncle and when he is gone from this world, all I feel is a big part of my childhood is gone. It's a big void and I hope wherever he is, he should be in peace. I will dearly miss him always!

"The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained"

~ Dawn