Oh life !

 

What a life this life can be—what a curious, shifting tale,

It walks beside us hand in hand, yet leaves us lone and pale.

It binds our hearts to many souls, draws every stranger near,

Then softly teaches distance too—that solitude is clear.

Not just to live, but crave to live—it plants that restless need,

And once we grow accustomed, it sows a deeper seed.

“Walk your path, be set apart, don’t lose yourself in the crowd,

You came here all alone,” it says, “leave smiling, gentle, proud.”

This game of life is strange indeed—each plays by different rules,

No soul can truly carry yours, no borrowed strength or tools.

So place no weight on fragile hopes, let your heart stay light and free,

If someone hears, then let it be—if not, just let it be.

Don’t spend your breath in proving things, or chasing to be known,

Life’s quiet truths reveal themselves when you stand on your own.

O life, your ways are wondrous still, your patterns rare, untold,

You walk beside, then slip away—leaving silence to unfold.

~ Dawn

Waiting for Five

 

The streets whisper all day long,

Echoes keeping silent watch,

As the house slowly empties—

Everyone gone,

Chasing their daily worlds.

And I wait.

I wait for footsteps,

For familiar sounds,

For the door that will open

Just for me.

Strangers pass by—

Even other dogs,

Glancing my way

As if to tease,

As if they know

I’m still here… waiting.

But I am patient—

Or at least, I try to be.

Because I know,

My time will come.

When the evening softens,

And the clock nears five,

A leash will find its way to me—

And I will be free,

If only for a while.

So I count the moments—

Quietly, eagerly—

When will it be five?

When will they come for me?

~ Dawn

A silent bud blossomed

I brought that pot of flower home with tender care,

Yet seasons passed - no bloom was waiting there.

Months slipped away, then years quietly moved on,

I kept asking why no bud chose to appear.

I played the gardener’s role with patience and grace,

With water and hope, I nurtured it here.

At times it seemed a bud might finally rise,

But dry leaves gathered—nothing but illusion, unclear.

When hope itself had quietly faded away,

A silent bud blossomed, soft and sincere.

Adorned in violet blooms, it healed the waiting heart,

A gentle reminder—faith is always near.

Keep doing your part without longing for reward,

For in time, every effort finds its sphere.

~ Dawn

Learning still

 

Life is a journey strange—yet we are learning still,

We’ve grown in years, not in wisdom—learning still.

We thought in childhood, books would teach us all,

But beyond those pages, life keeps turning—learning still.

Who said that knowledge lives in schools alone?

In every breath and fall, we’re yearning—learning still.

To walk is life, to learn is how we stay alive,

Through every rise and break, we’re burning—learning still.

Death may be certain, the end of every road,

Till then, with every step, we’re learning—learning still.

~ Dawn

May I always see you smiling !

 

Once you were so small

you fit easily within my hands.

Today you have grown so much

that even my arms cannot hold you the same way.

Back then my heart carried quiet worries,

wondering if I would make mistakes

while raising my son,

learning motherhood step by step.

Muttasi would smile at my anxious thoughts

and gently remind me,

“Children are all the same in this world—

sons and daughters alike.”

You were the youngest in our home,

showered with love from every corner.

Yet you never took advantage of that affection;

simplicity and kindness stayed with you.

Nineteen years have passed,

but a mother’s heart remains the same—

filled with care, pride, and quiet joy.

Stay happy always.

Never bring sorrow to another soul.

Whenever you can, lend a helping hand,

for humanity still lives in such acts.

My only prayer is simple:

may life treat you kindly,

and may I always see you smiling

as you walk your own path in this world.

~ Dawn

With love, today and always —

 

Your smile lights every heart,

Your friendship is a beautiful art.

You bring loved ones closer in every way,

Spreading joy wherever you stay.

May your life be filled with cheer,

Blessings, laughter, year after year.

With love, today and always —

Have a truly wonderful birthday !

~ Dawn

Let Go !!!

 There is a limit to all things—

to goodness, to cruelty, to beauty and decay.

A limit to what we hear,

what we see,

what we allow our tongues and hearts to carry.

We all have thresholds,

quiet lines drawn by the soul.

No one has the right

to bruise us with words,

to dress harm as advice,

or raise their voice as power.

Even sweetness, they say,

can turn bitter in excess.

So do not bow

just because you choose civility.

Strength can be gentle.

Leaving can be brave.

Walk away.

Let go.

~ Dawn

Raindrops and Reverie

 

Raindrops fall, and in their silver light,

Tears descend softly, mingling with the night.

With friends beside you, sorrow finds its balm,

Every shadow lifts, replaced by gentle calm.

If fire burns within, it brings its own glow,

Yet if it rages too fierce, it leaves but ashes below.

Sometimes rain caresses, a tender, soulful touch,

Sometimes it floods, washing doubts and fears as such.

Life drifts like a boat upon restless waves,

Bowing in prayer, yet steady, it braves.

Like a rainy umbrella, its path may twist and turn,

But still it moves forward, each breath a lesson to learn.

Years come and go, like whispers of time,

Life is fleeting, yet love makes the spirit climb.

The sun sends messages of hope to the day,

The moon spills light in Dawn’s gentle way.

Whoever lives with zest, with heart alive and free,

Finds life complete, as it was meant to be.

~ Dawn

The World I Grew Up In

 

I long for the India of my childhood—

Where faith was only faith, seen through secular eyes,

Where no one asked the last name of a friend in play,

Where Diwali sweets were shared, and from the same hands

came bowls of sevaiyaan in Eid delight—

How free was that India when childhood was mine!

I long for the India of my childhood—

Where patience to listen was still a gift,

Where minds differed but we dined from one plate,

And if words stung, we laughed the hurt away,

How mindful, how gentle, was that India of youth.

I long for the India of my childhood—

Where many tongues wove one conversation of smiles,

Where a gesture alone carried honor and respect,

Where no one feared the other—only reverence reigned,

How tolerant was that India of innocence.

I ache for the India of my childhood—

Where theft was seen through the lens of need,

Where violence gave way to compassion’s hand,

Where Usha and Farzana studied and played as one,

How human, how luminous, was that India of my youth.

Yes, I ache for the India of my childhood.

~ Dawn

Finding Joy in Rhythm, Carrying Amma in Spirit

 

This year began on a difficult note with the loss of our Amma, my mother-in-law, in October. Each of us grieved in our own way, and her absence created a deep void. She had always been present in our lives—either visiting us in person or connecting with us over video calls—and that constant presence is what we miss the most.

In time, I slowly started focusing on healing. Playing the Chenda, making new friends who now feel like family, and being part of our group Bay Melam brought me strength. As my Arangettam approached, our daily in-person Chenda practice camp with our beloved Guru, Mela Kalaratnam Kalamandalam Shivdas Aashaan, began in full swing. His direct, honest feedback kept us sharp and attentive to the finer details—the posture of the hands, the strength of each beat, and most importantly, the joy of dancing with the rhythm as we play.

I never set out with the dream of performing an Arangettam; my only goal was to learn. But this journey gave me the confidence to step onto a stage and perform at events. With Bay Melam (our band name), I had the honor of performing in Manteca for the Onam celebration and later in Fremont at the Vellankanni festival. Through it all, my family’s support has been unwavering. It’s not just me who finds joy in playing the Chenda—my family feels happiness in watching me play with such passion.

I carry immense gratitude for the universe aligning everything to make this possible. If Amma were still with us, she would have proudly shared this with the entire world. I miss her deeply—words will never be enough to capture that feeling.

Today, as a family, we chose to celebrate Onam together—dressing up, sitting down for Sadya, and simply enjoying each other’s company. After such an eventful month, this quiet day of food, laughter, and togetherness feels truly blissful. Happy Onam to all !!!

~ Dawn

Pattunool Puzhu – A Journey Through Threads of Life

Malayalam, as a language, holds one of the richest treasures of literature in India. Its stories, deeply rooted in people, places, and emotions, have a way of immersing you completely into their world. Listening to the audiobook Pattunool Puzhu was my way of reconnecting with this richness—an experience both powerful and lingering.

The title Pattunool Puzhu translates to silkworm. Just as the silkworm spins delicate yet strong threads, the story too weaves together fragile emotions, relationships, and unspoken desires into a fabric that feels intensely real. Each character is a thread, sometimes shining with hope, sometimes fraying with pain, yet essential to the whole.

The novel by S. Hareesh stands out not just for its theme but for his remarkable style of storytelling. The way he introduces each character—Annie, her son Samson, Vijayan, and others—felt almost cinematic. Their lives, struggles, and connections unfolded gradually, as though I were watching them move around me. The narration of the audiobook added even more depth, making me visualize every place and person as if I were a part of their world.

What stayed with me the most was the emotional weight of the story. Annie and her son Samson’s lives, and even the delicate relationship between Annie and Vijayan, brought moments of quiet sadness. It is not a tale that offers easy answers or a neatly tied happy ending, but one that reflects life in all its complexity.

Days after finishing the audiobook, I found myself thinking about each of the characters—their choices, their silences, their vulnerabilities. That is the power of Hareesh’s writing: he lingers in your thoughts, making you revisit the story again and again in your mind.

It took me a while to sit down and write this review because the story was still living with me, refusing to let go. Pattunool Puzhu is not just a book—it is an experience that wraps around you, like the threads of the silkworm, fragile yet enduring.

Once again Reena thank you for suggesting this book.

~ Dawn

Book Review: Hangwoman – A Journey Through Calcutta’s Streets and Shadows

There are books that entertain you, some that educate you, and then there are those rare ones that unsettle you—profoundly, poetically. Hangwoman (originally written in Malayalam as Aarachaar) by K.R. Meera is one such hauntingly powerful novel. Reena suggested this book to me, and I’m so glad she did—it’s a literary experience I won’t forget. I actually experienced the story through the gripping audiobook narration by Benaifer Mirza.

Set primarily in Kolkata (Calcutta), the story follows Chetna Grddha Mullick, the first woman executioner in India, born into a lineage of hangmen. But Hangwoman is not just about death—it’s about life, patriarchy, journalism, love, politics, and identity. Meera’s writing, masterfully translated from Malayalam to English by J. Devika, is lyrical, intense, and immersive. It speaks volumes of the original's power that its essence and layered complexity could travel across languages and still hit hard.

What struck me the most was the vivid narration. Meera has a way of weaving words that transport you. As I read, I could walk through the crowded streets of Kolkata. I could smell the river at the ghats, hear the bells and chaos, taste the sweet graininess of sondesh. The city wasn’t just a backdrop—it was a living, breathing character in the story. I could see it, feel it, and be a part of it. That is the beauty of Meera’s storytelling.

Chetna’s voice—raw, conflicted, and sharp—is unforgettable. The novel explores generational trauma, the complexity of womanhood, and the moral contradictions of justice and media sensationalism. The father-daughter dynamic is particularly gripping, sometimes suffocating, yet heartbreakingly real.

K.R. Meera, a celebrated journalist and author from Kerala, is known for her powerful portrayals of women and for challenging societal norms. Aarachaar, when published in Malayalam, was met with critical acclaim and went on to win multiple awards including the Kerala Sahitya Akademi Award. The English translation has made this monumental work accessible to a global audience—and I can see why it stirred so many conversations.

This isn’t an easy read. It demands time and attention—but rewards you with emotional depth, literary brilliance, and a strange, dark beauty that lingers.

Thank you, Reena, for introducing me to a book that not only told me a story but took me on a journey—through a city, through a woman’s mind, and through a nation's conscience.

~ Dawn

A Monday to remember 🥰

It’s Monday, and I’m on summer shutdown at work this week — a rare day with nothing on my calendar. “Since you’re free, why don’t you come to my office?” Rhea suggested. And just like that, I had my plans for today. 

As I walked into her workplace, memories flooded back — the times I’d take all three of my little ones, Rahi, Rhea, and our beloved cocker spaniel Reyna, to the VMware campus for visits. How the roles have shifted.

Today, it was my daughter showing me around — giving me a tour of the Nvidia campus, the cafeteria, and sharing lunch together. A quiet moment of pride.

Before I left, I added my signature doodle on the whiteboard by her desk — a little tradition that continues.

Mondays like this? I’ll take them any day 🥰.

~ Dawn

Defying Definitions: 28 Years of Living My Own Truth

 

April 10th marks a profound personal milestone. Twenty-eight years ago, on April 10th, 1997, I stepped off the plane at Toronto International Airport, alone, into a country utterly new and unknown. There was no meticulously crafted plan, only an unwavering determination to forge my own path. Now, on April 10th, 2025, looking back, the journey feels incredibly significant. I arrived carrying the weight of someone else's aspirations, and from there, I had to weave in my own dreams. Some initial decisions weren't mine, but ultimately, I charted my own course, and I hold no regrets.

"The most profound journeys are often those taken without a map, guided only by the compass of your own heart."

When loved ones inquire about guilt, my answer remains a firm no, never. No guilt, no regrets, because every decision I made felt right for me, and I consciously ensured they didn't negatively impact others. Venturing down unconventional paths has gifted me invaluable life lessons, the kind that classrooms and textbooks can't offer, not even the well-intentioned guidance of parents who always sought to shield me. But life, as it often does, had its own script. I've been blessed with the amazing experience of connecting with diverse individuals, forming cherished friendships, and exploring a multifaceted career. I deliberately pushed my boundaries, embracing discomfort in various professional roles, and emerged a successful human being. These opportunities shattered the self-imposed limitations, proving that the "I can't" I once believed was a lie. The girl who once feared solo autorickshaw rides has since navigated unfamiliar territories and thrived. I've indeed come a long way.

"Every unexpected turn holds the potential for a beautiful discovery about yourself and the world."

The same girl whom some classmates envisioned solely as a capable housewife, adept at cooking sambar, now finds herself working in the tech industry in North America—a reality they, too, share today. The truth is, society often attempts to define and confine us based on external perceptions, but true empowerment lies in self-belief and pursuing one's own convictions. I'm filled with gratitude for the countless anonymous acts of kindness: the stranger who guided me when I was lost after a bus ride, the person who pointed me towards my destination. These stories underscore the inherent humanity and the presence of good-hearted individuals who offer assistance without judgment, helping us navigate towards our chosen paths.

"In the tapestry of life, every thread, planned or unplanned, contributes to the beauty of the whole. Gratitude weaves it all together."

My childhood dream was simple: a life on a farm, a small hut surrounded by nature, sustenance from the land, and cooking with the aid of a trusty geyser – a vivid dream that felt like a deep-seated yearning. Today, my reality far surpasses that initial vision, and I am overflowing with gratitude. I fondly remember my dear friend Carol (who passed away too soon) making me promise not to leave Canada for the USA. I kept that promise for a time, but years after her passing, meeting Vinod led me to the United States. And I can honestly say, people in the USA are kind too. Life is beautiful, and we must do what resonates with our own journey. Don't seek external validation; it's unnecessary. Carry your dreams and aspirations, not the burden of others' opinions. Extend love to everyone and give back where you can. Ultimately, we are all on a cyclical journey.

"Twenty-eight years later, I realize the most beautiful chapters are often the ones I never saw coming."

"The girl who stepped off that plane couldn't have imagined this life, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Gratitude fills my heart for a loving husband who is also my best friend and an incredible father. My children, in their constant state of growth, allow me to relive my own childhood – the highs of high school, the milestones of college, the excitement of that first job. Isn't there a unique joy in growing up again and again? Perhaps we never truly grow up, for it's in that perpetual state of learning and making mistakes that we gain wisdom. I realize now that I've spent more of my life outside my birth country than within it. This day always prompts reflection, a yearly striving to become a better version of myself – a journey that continues.

"Don't wait for permission to bloom; plant your own seeds and trust the unfolding." 

~ Dawn

The Teen Brain: A Revealing Look at Adolescence

 I had the opportunity to attend the screening and discussion of a short film "The Teen Brain".

The Teen Brain," a 10-minute documentary directed by Tiffany Shlain, packs a punch in its concise exploration of adolescence. Produced by actress Goldie Hawn's MindUP program, the film aims to debunk stereotypes and shed light on the fascinating science behind teenage behavior.

The documentary opens by emphasizing the incredible transformation taking place in the brains of teenagers. It highlights their heightened emotional intelligence and capacity for learning, framing these qualities as strengths rather than weaknesses. Experts featured in the film counter the trope of teenagers as reckless by explaining their natural tendency towards risk-taking as a crucial part of development

"The Teen Brain" doesn't shy away from the challenges teens face. It acknowledges the struggles with impulse control and decision-making that can stem from an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. However, the film empowers teens with practical tools for navigating this period. Getting enough sleep, taking breaks from technology, and developing self-regulation techniques are all presented as ways teens can take charge of their well-being.

Here's what makes "The Teen Brain" a success:

• Science-Backed Insights: The film relies on expert opinions and research to deliver credible information.
• Positive Framing: It emphasizes the unique strengths and capabilities of the teenage brain.
• Actionable Tips: Teenagers and parents are offered practical strategies for coping with the complexities of adolescence.

While the film's brevity is a strength, some viewers might wish for a deeper exploration of certain topics. Additionally, the focus on individual strategies doesn't delve into the broader societal factors that can impact teenage mental health.

Overall, "The Teen Brain" is a valuable resource for teenagers, parents, and educators. It provides a clear and informative look at the adolescent brain, fostering understanding and offering valuable tools for navigating this transformative period.

~ Dawn

Thoughts...!

 

Life is yours, live it in your own way,

Never should one adopt someone else's path!

Issues are often straightforward,

So much is left unsaid in mere gestures!

Decisions made in the course of time will endure,

In reality, there's no need for excuses to escape!

Who were we? What were we? Proud of ourselves,

Today, looking at oneself, who are we to know!

A woman changes at every turn,

Yet, why does hope still linger in that breeze? Unfathomed!

~ Dawn

From Dawn's Desk

It's been quite a while! The urge to write has been lingering, but work has been all-consuming. Whether drafting a brief document or a lengthier six-pager, my mind kept drifting to thoughts of my neglected blog. The inability to find time for writing when the inspiration strikes feels like a formidable punishment.

In these moments, it seems as if time itself is an adversary. There were instances when thoughts of giving up crossed my mind, but the concept of quitting was never something I embraced. I resisted that notion staunchly, determined to keep it absent from my personal dictionary.

Each day brought forth thoughts and topics that urged me to write, yet I confined them to my mind. The frustration was palpable, but I persevered, focusing on tasks with looming deadlines and anticipating reviews that seemed incessant. It felt like an endless cycle.

I couldn't help but think that this was a futile expenditure of time. The desire for clear, straightforward communication, easily understandable and implementable, was overshadowed by the meticulous scrutiny of every word and sentence, requiring constant justification.

There were instances when it seemed like a deliberate setup to ensure my failure and demonstrate an inability to meet deadlines due to the never-ending feedback loop.

I came to the realization that frustration was overpowering me. The workload compelled me to work even on weekends, rendering the notion of work-life balance obsolete.

Engaging with my family and opening up about things at home provided me with a moment of respite. This allowed me to step back and view myself objectively, leading me to consider that the issue might be with me.

Upon revisiting the document, I dedicated time to rework paragraphs, incorporating feedback and attempting to perceive it from a reader's standpoint. Recognizing that impactful words require supporting metrics and numbers, I aimed to let the figures speak the truth rather than constructing a narrative.

This became a valuable learning experience. Initially, negative thoughts surrounded me, and I allowed them to persist for a while. However, immersing myself in the writing process and accepting feedback objectively helped me understand that everyone involved was invested in enhancing the document.

Following this realization, the process became smoother, and the document was prepared for presentation to leadership. Taking a deep breath, I faced the review, which went well with only a few questions—mostly aimed at providing examples to help them connect with the message I was conveying in the document.

To be honest, releasing that heavy burden was a profound experience, and the sense of relief penetrated deep into my mind and heart. I now feel a genuine sense of relaxation. It's akin to understanding sweetness only after tasting bitterness. As the year concluded, I recognized the value of the lessons learned, marking the completion of my second innings at work.

I made it!

I trust that my post will assist you in discovering answers within yourself if you are facing similar challenges in life.

~ Dawn

Journey!

I have a path that will lead me to my goal,

But when I look at it, its tough and hard,

The path is made out of stone and is slippery,

How do I go about this? Nothing motivates!

Well, when I see at the end I see a path ahead,

Why not we take the effort to walk at least,

Let's not worry about the goal instead,

Take that first step and will see where it takes,

Let's walk and enjoy the path slowly,

We will reach the goal and many more..!

~ Dawn

[my poem for April 7th]

Don't worry, be happy!

I am coming here after 9 months approximately. It's not that I have not thought about it. Everyday I think of writing because everyday something or the other comes to my mind which I could put it in words here but then...!

"All problems are illusions of the mind." ~ Eckhart Tolle

As a kid I started writing my diary and then when I started using computer for work, writing in a diary stopped and blogging took over that space. It's a habit and not just habit but a way out for me. I feel good when I talk to my blog, it's like talking to your trusted buddy.

At times, mind wants to be that buddy and it takes over the space. I have often realized how in my mind I am dictating and mind would absorb it all. I felt good for a while because I got busy hence mind-blogging worked out. 

"The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a heaven of Hell, a hell of Heaven." ~ John Milton

There is always a juggle between blogging and mind-blogging just like how one wants to hold a book to read versus audio book listening. One goes back and forth and I feel that is what has been happening with me all this time.

"All the things that truly matter, beauty, love, creativity, joy and inner peace arise from beyond the mind." ~ Exkhart Tolle

Let's talk about present since we are in 2023. The new year started well with family and friends. I was in Vegas on 1st January 2023. I have come to an understanding that life is not all about taking stress but being stress free. We all work hard to earn our living and one should but there is also something called self-care which I feel our generation is catching up now.  I am really grateful for my good genes for good health but it is very necessary for all ages to take care of self not just physical well being but mental too. 

"The mind can calculate, but the spirit yearns, and the heart knows what the heart knows." ~ Stephen King

Often in the rat race we forget, job, position, money, promotion all this is meaningful only if you're alive and healthy. One should be in present and enjoy the moment that is my mantra but I also don't take stress unnecessarily. I do used to worry to prevent things but with time realized that we can only save what we can rest we are not sure, so why worry?

Don't worry, be happy!

~ Dawn

There is no later!

The year came with harsh realities

Something we all see everyday

The sun rises and sets in the evening 

To every start, there is an end but

Sun rises again and again yet

We don't!

It's okay to be motivated,

Nature does that to us but

The fact is that it is real,

We come and go and 

we don't wait for anyone,

No matter how close one is,

No matter what relation you have,

We live only once and 

we don't rise again!

But still, we try to extend 

Our stay on this planet,

By hook or crook and 

Hope that it will remain

Forever!

Don't wait for special day,

Make every moment special and real,

Live it, Love it, because

There is no later!

~ Dawn