International Women's Day Celebration

It's International Women's Month. Being a woman, I was reflecting on my journey. I was raised by my parents who never differentiated between a boy and a girl. I was given equal opportunity and I was also taught to take independent decisions for myself.

I could do everything that my brother would do, whether it was wearing pants, shorts, playing sports, going for a movie, playing caroms or chess, climbing trees, riding bicycle or motorcycle, going to school, college and post graduation all of this except that I was not allowed to go out alone after 6 pm or after the street lights are on. This is for my safety and it is same even now. But the boys can stay late no issues and I find that's an issue in itself but I will save it for another blog-post!

Those days I was very focussed on what I want to achieve and worked towards that. Eventually, I got awareness about my surroundings, my field, certain positions and true that women are not everywhere the way men are. Why?

I have often felt that when my Dad didn't differentiate between me and my brother then why the world does it? A very fundamental question but it happens and my simple ask is when we see that shouldn't we do something about it?

I come from a family where my both parents were working and when they come home they both help each other in the kitchen. I always feel I am the other wheel of the chariot in my family, that's how balanced we all want to be.

Given the strides that women have achieved in recent years in terms of empowerment, it is worth celebrating women around the world specially this month and March 8th as International Women's Day.

There is a constant need to remind ourselves and the world about the objective of this day. At work it was great to listen to some of the women leaders how they navigated their career growth and then based on a study as of February 2023, 38% of leadership roles in the US were occupied by women. Even though that percentage is higher that the share of women in leadership roles globally i.e., 32% there has been lethargic progress towards closing this gender gap. The proportion of women in leadership positions in the US has only increased by 2% points since 2016.

There's a lot more need to happen, just by giving a seat to fill the gender gap isn't the solution but men and women equally have to help and mentor each other to be on leadership roles. It's a collective call towards gender equality.

She is delicate and dreamy like a vine, 

Yet standing on her own without whine,

She is strong needs opportunity to shine,

You can challenge her and evaluate fine,

Treat her just like you want to be divine,

It's been ages friends now is the time,

We must change for good let's align,

To bring equality let us define,

Because this dawn believes in sunshine!

~ Dawn

And though she may be broken, she is not defeated. She will rise unfettered, unbeaten, unimpeded..!

Heard a lot about #MeToo movement in America and around the world. People came up courageously to share what happened with them and pointing the culprit irrespective of their position in the world. 
Everyone said, lets hear it and lets investigate it and then punish the culprit. Nothing wrong in that statement.
I feel everyone who have gone through this sexual abuse irrespective of gender, should be heard. Because it is indeed tough and ruthless to a point where they are ready to share about their traumatic life with the world which is like going back and re-living that moment and that is very hard on themselves. For someone to come and share that with the world really needs courage. One must listen to them.

"A stare, a proximity, a smile, a touch - oddly familiar. He knows you wouldn't speak, he knows you don't understand enough to speak; me, too!" ~ Nipunya Panda

I feel this era is of awakening for many and I like it when I see people across the world irrespective of which industry they belong, they are coming out and sharing it and pointing the culprit by calling their name and sharing specific incidents, so the world know whats going around behind the big name and fame. This also helps others to be cautious and aware if they are in similar situation. This also many times helps the person whether they are experiencing it as many of them don't know what is considered as 'sexual abuse'. 

No one has any rights to abuse anyone, irrespective of what relationship they have with the individuals.

Last year the awakening happened in India too when Tanushree Dutta brought Nana Patekar's name under the #MeToo movement and how everyone supported her and encouraged women to speak up. In fact there's a committee also they created to protect women's rights in film industry where thorough investigations will be done on the accused until then they will be banned from the industry etc. I think this is a positive moment and that is what need to happen, we must encourage people to speak up and not suffer in dark.

"There's going to be a violent awakening we don't want. The question is, can we wake up?" ~ Anna Deavere Smith

I know Indian film industry is such that many idolize the actors as their god and so, it is difficult for some to even think of such allegations that is made because they see these people through the characters that they create, or they act and hence in their mind, its a lie! 
But then who are we to decide that? We were not there while the survivor was actually experiencing the torture or abuse and hence the fair judgement would be to listen to the survivor and do an investigation on the accused that has been called out.

Recent allegation on Rajkumar Hirani by one of his assistant director came up and what a twist in the game. Everyone speaking about how can he be? He is so good, innocent, too good to do anything wrong and he has no flaws and what not. 

I mean, I can imagine he did some great work in the film industry by brining great movies but that doesn't give a certificate for his character. 
More over, he can be so good that he may even know how people will trust him and not the survivor!!!
A person's character cannot be always judged only by his work.

I would have had more respect for the Indian film industry folks- who are supporting Rajkumar Hirani, if they would have said- let the formal investigation take place as things can happen to anyone. 

Not every talented person is a saint and I agree not every talented person is a criminal mind either. But it would have been better if this was left to the necessary officials to take care of in the right manner than giving character certificate to Rajkumar Hirani. 

"He scrolled through the social media, his fingers lingering on the keyboard, "me too" *pause* Delete Delete Delete. The fear of his #MeToo being judged differently from the others stifled yet another cry for help." ~ Srijan

My take on this, even though I don't know this person personally other than watching his movies, he should cooperate with the investigation and then let the result prove whether he is innocent or not.
Entire film industry is kind of stuck on his fame since he is a big shot in the industry, everyone is trying to save their future by being good in his book, I guess!

By defending him people are blocking the avenues of investigation.

"There's more to our species than we see in the mirror."

~ Dawn

Not every sorry deserves an "It's Okay" in return

It's so true that one person has to be courageous and come out and then others automatically gain the confidence and courage to come and share their story.
Yes, I am talking about the #MeTooMovement that has taken like a huge storm and I hope its just the beginning.

As I was reading news and on social media about women being harassed at work place or even looked at as a piece of meat, it just gives you to reflect about so many things that has happened in your own life.
Women has the toughest job to do and that is if she doesn't want to be dependent on anyone financially and she takes up a job in a company - then its basically means you're on your own. Because if you complain then the response is 'you better stay at home'.

I know there are many women who have been home makers for this reason. When a woman at work is harassed by her manager and she tries to stop him many times and yet he never stops. It reaches to a point where your colleagues ask you if you're okay because you keep going into you manager's room who keeps calling you in his room for 1 on 1s and you end up going each time because each time he says its about the project and this stress you share at home, it's not necessary that she will get a support from her loved ones saying, lets talk about it or do something about it. They will still let her go to that same workplace, to that same manager and its that same environment where she is being sent.

"We have to have the courage to tell people when their behavior or the way they talk makes us uncomfortable."

Financial support is something a woman tries to do for her family where her thinking is mainly to support her husband and family. When a husband doesn't have a job or has a business which doesn't bring in much income the support system is on the woman. At such time when she is being harassed by her manager at work, what options she has: tell at home and see what they suggest? If there is no suggestion then you know what it means, or you change your job, but whats the guarantee the next manager is going to be good? You're taking a chance but until you find another job you're stuck with the present manager because your family depends on you.

"At the end of the day, don't forget that you're a person, don't forget that you're a mother; a wife and a daughter." ~ Indira Nooyi

Women will suffer for her family and why only women? Because women are raised that way from the beginning. They are taught you're born strong so do all the hard work and yet any issue comes just be quiet and move on because women are supposed to not complain and if it's about men then oh! no!!! never complain about them because women are such a piece of meat that they will be blamed but men won't be blamed and the bad name will come to the women.
She shared with few friends and they said, 'Complain it to Human Resources, but then no idea if the next manager wants to hire you because this will be in the system. They might keep the manager because he is an employee and then they might fire you as you are a contractor".

"Show respect even to the people who don't deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours." ~ Dave Willis

Here the harassment from the manager and no security or help from husband - both are men and what should this woman do? If anyone has an answer then do comment!  

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

~ Dawn

Women's empowerment is intertwined with respect for human rights..

I am writing this post today, because I feel we are responsible to fail humanity.

When I was growing up and used to hear stories from people and olden times, I always felt that, oh, that was then! Not anymore!!!

"I think women are foolish to pretend they are equal to men, they are far superior and always have been." ~ William Golding

But even today when I hear women treated like an object whether it’s in under developed country or a developed country – the story of women is in bizarre!

The male dominating society is creeping in like a weed everywhere and they just use women in whatever way they want to and just dump it and don’t even feel ashamed of their deeds. I mean will they be doing the same way with their mother and daughter too? I am assuming that those two relationships they might be holding too close to their heart so can their in humanness be justified if they think from that point?

I had met this young, courageous woman sometimes back and even I didn’t realize if I had any role to play in inspiring her. But recently I heard some happiness entering in her lonely life where she would get a company in life and a father figure for her teenage son. I mean when you’re meeting a single mother and/or single father, there’s certain expectation that even as a society people would expect.

The lady Rose was finally happy that her life which had a very bad and traumatic marriage life with her first one. She had lost hope and faith with the men’s world when she found this guy Jordan, who has a grown-up son too. He meets them, take them home and fulfills the ceremony of engagement and then he ends up to his friend with who’s instruction he wouldn’t do anything. And this person who is supposed to be the friend of Jordan suggests him to dump the girl as you can get many women to sleep with so why you need to marry one?

What an evil thought? If this is how the mind works then imagine how he might be looking at women in his surroundings whether its his work place, community and social gathering events, his kid’s school or for that say his wife’s women friends? I mean such a filthy guy he would be that I felt as a woman he should be exposed so that we don’t want another #MeToo moment to come in any women’s life.

"A stare, a proximity, a smile, a touch-oddly familiar. He knows you wouldn't speak, he knows you don't understand enough to speak; Me too!" ~ Nipunya Panda

Jordan one day sends message on text saying he is breaking up with her. Poor thing Rose, who has no clue why he is breaking up? What she did that she is being punished except that she knows the previous day he went for a hike with his so-called friend.

I have only thing to say to Rose, which is tough for her to handle because she loved Jordan and her son also loved him. Poor kid is going through counseling and therapy sessions as he is still not able to digest why Mom is crying, why Jordan will never come to our home?

"Her innocence, to him, was that sexual toy which he broke many times and every time fixed it with chocolates and ice-cream." ~ notypriyanka

Rose, someone tried to play with your wings and while doing that they tried to break your wings. Hence, you’re bruised but I will say get well soon and be thankful that you’re not ending up like Jordan’s previous wives who have either divorced him or have embraced death as by suicide. You need to be there for your son and that too a strong one so that your son can learn too that this world is full of horrible men and he needs to change that face by being a gentleman!

"Educate a man and you educate an individual. Educate a woman and you educate a family." ~ A. Cripps

I feel it’s a good riddance in this form for Rose that she didn’t have to lose her life, her son and her hard-earned money and house. Sometimes awakening happens in different ways and experiences.

Women have to unite to make sure men don’t miss use innocent women and just don’t disrespect when they are vulnerable.

~ Dawn

The next evolutionary step for humankind is to move from man to kind...!

Recently came across a note by friends in social media saying, women who don’t change their last name after marriage – is a sign of women empowerment.

I see women having their own opinion on that note and I feel that itself is a great achievement that they made a choice, they have an opinion – some did change because they like it that way for what so ever reason – may be the culture they grew up with, or be part of their husband’s family and the belonging aspect of it etc. But having changed the last name or not, the truth is does that makes anyone liberated? I mean I have seen women without changing their last name after marriage and yet have not empowered to make any family decisions or even make a decision for themselves when it comes to career or any other choices.

“Some guys will want to change everything about you. But the right guy will not want to change one thing your last name.”

Are we dwelling on the right thing when we say ‘women empowerment’? I am not sure but for these name change and not change things and the identity through those actions... because I feel irrespective of what your name is – whether the name and surname is from your maiden family? Or your name is given by your parents and surname is from your husband’s family? Or your first name and last name is given to you by your husband’s family during the marriage as part of the tradition?

“He stole my heart and I am planning for revenge. I am going to steal his last name!”

In my opinion nothing gives you an identity other than what you do and establish yourself as with your thoughts and actions. Believe it or not, I often say to friends when they ask me if I am Usha, Dawn, Fiza and my response to them is – what’s in the name?

“We cannot despair of humanity, since we ourselves are human beings.”

Yes, what is in the name? I feel specially with the Indian culture and tradition when you see a name your mind opens into – the person is from which religion, caste, language, state and what not. Is this is what you’re defining as your identity? Then hell no!!! I don’t need such identity because I want to be known as a human first and not tied to any religion, caste, state, language or anything such things that divides the human race. I am sure if we were named as numbers because names cause these kinds of issues, still we would come up with who’s the top most and who’s not and would start discriminating based on that.

I have been treated so well the moment people came to know which place I come from and the state, some have treated me so well when they came to know I am Fiza, I got many friend requests and appreciations from Muslim friends, similarly many have asked me if I have married a white guy since I have my name as Usha Dawn – I mean c’mon!!! And to another extent the Dawn is referred as Dhawan and some south Indians they call me north Indian very proudly… I feel sorry for them! 

If people cannot connect with you or your identity without your last name, then it’s better not to connect because it will be a rough pathway.

“Humanity should be our race. Love should be our religion.”

Let’s be human first because that’s what we became as part of evolution and we have not been successful in doing a good job on that itself and we created so many barriers for ourselves in the name of caste, creed, culture, religion and what not!!!

“Find the sweetness in your own heart, then you may find the sweetness in every heart” ~ Rumi

~ Dawn