We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead!!!

This year, right from its inception, has unfolded with a profound sense of intrigue. My surroundings are bustling with noteworthy events – tech companies initiating layoffs, a palpable reluctance among individuals to return to the office leading to protests, the ongoing Israel-Palestinian conflict, and the heart-wrenching atrocities, particularly the senseless killing of innocent children. These occurrences compel me to reflect on the state of humanity. It seems as though despite the passage of time, our species has not evolved much from the days when small nations engaged in destructive wars, questioning what fundamental changes have truly taken place.

We appear to be creatures losing touch with our dignity and humanity with each passing day. It's disheartening to note that animals, often overlooked, exhibit a kindness that we, as a society, seem to disregard. In the face of these challenges, I strongly feel that this year should be a turning point where we assertively declare 'STOP' to what needs to be halted. We must find the courage to say 'No' when we sense that enough is enough.

As we navigate through life, gaining new perspectives, we realize that our existence revolves around the people in our circle – family, friends, colleagues, and teammates. It's imperative that we express love and support to one another, sharing happiness, peace, and a compassionate ear. My personal journey in people management has reinforced the significance of personalization in business, emphasizing the need for a personal touch within the team.

I recall a valuable lesson from my childhood – my father's advice to hold onto good people rather than wealth, as money is transient, but genuine individuals endure. Embracing this wisdom, I am gratified to witness its fruition in my life.

Love for our neighbors, people, and teams forms the foundation for a harmonious existence. By embodying the qualities of empathy and understanding, we can create positive change. In my role, I find fulfillment in allowing others to lead, as true leadership lies in empowering those around us. It's a gratifying journey of learning and growth.

Let us be the advocates for the voiceless, elevating our concerns to a global understanding. If we, as humans, do not stand up for what is right, then who will? The key to overall well-being lies in spreading happiness, and as we move forward, let's make a sincere promise to be authentic and cultivate love among ourselves.

"Compassion required only one thing...To step outside ourselves long enough to embrace another."

~ Dawn

Chaos!

There are people, 

there are houses, 

buildings and chaos!

There are temples,

Mosques, Churches,

and then there is more chaos!

Wish people spoke to each other,

And not hide behind the walls

in these buildings and houses,

Not fight for the buildings.

Which they call house of God,

Yet all the drama is about that,

Peace! Let live and Let other live!!!

~ Dawn

 

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give !!!

Last weekend me and my husband were invited for a charity event. It was a kick-off meeting for a volley-ball event. This kick-off was at someone's house. It was very kind of them to open their house for more than twenty people and showering with their hospitality to all.

It's a community event and I think wherever you go, it doesn't matter who you are or where you belong to, humanity is all about coming together and helping an event if that will bring happiness and opportunity for people. This was for children to play volleyball and travel across States where they represent different teams and hence have to be given proper lodging and boarding facilities, proper food, sports uniforms, first-aid and so on. All this requires money and hence charity is the mode where they were looking for support. The support could be through paying money, volunteering, or by sharing coupons for twenty five dollars, or marketing about them such that it will generate more awareness and that could bring more help and donation.

"Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting." ~ Brian Tracy

It started with an introduction about the charity organization and it's board members. The treasurer also shared last years collection and where all the money was spent. This year the volleyball game will be hosted in California and hence the expense will be more.  The cause is for children who are at the age to play a sport, specially volleyball and to get coached from senior players from the team and support them in every way to play in a league or even go into Olympics as well. These kids will get introduced early to healthy life-style, and fitness.

After the introduction and honoring the guests, there was dinner for everyone. The food was delicious and it was home made. Everyone had a chance to get introduced while having dinner and all of a sudden someone mentioned to us (we ladies were sitting on the dinning table), on our kick-off day itself we got the highest donation of ten thousand dollars. Everyone got excited to see this great beginning and asked who is that person. Immediately we were introduced to the person who donated that money. This person is in real estate business and they said hello to us, while each one of us was being introduced  by their name. There was one lady from our table, congratulated that person and said I also run a charity organization for women who are in distress and abused by the society or family. It will be good if you can support us as well.

"I have found that among its other benefits, giving liberates the soul of the giver." ~ Maya Angelou

I thought that was a decent way to put it because many times it is a challenge for any charity organization to ask for money directly and this was the moment where charity support is the cause.

The person who was all nice and smiling, suddenly had a shrewd look and they said, it's a give and take thing. You give me business and I will give the money out of the profit that I make through that business. 

"It's easier to take than to give. It's nobler to give than to take. The thrill of taking lasts a day. The thrill of giving lasts a lifetime." ~ Joan Marques

The moment I saw their face expression and their way of talking to this lady, it completely made me very uncomfortable. I am not sure how I would have reacted if I was that lady. But something that I witnessed couldn't go off my mind. The shrewd and mean face is what I remember not what they did or gave!!!!

Charity is all about good will and help the needy. I understand here the situation was not for people who are hungry and living in poverty but still organizations who run charity for women or children it is for their development and support. The person could have easily said sure and moved on as no one was coming after them for money at that moment. 

The way the person spoke to that lady,  the body language, it gave me an impression that the person is doesn't respect people but only those who have money. I literally felt very embarrassment as this happened in front of lot of people. There was a silence for a second and people didn't know how to react. Good that they lady asked as if nothing happened, and continued where do you stay, you should probably come to my home for a cup of coffee.

"Money is not the only commodity that is fun to give. We can give time, we can give our expertise, we can give our love, or simply give a smile. What does that cost? The point is, none of us can ever run of something worthwhile to give." ~ Steve Goodier 

I do not respect people who show-off their money in the name of charity. I often felt charity should be given anonymously if possible. Even if one happen to give a cheque of ten thousand dollars, one doesn't have to show off that they are great. I think it's a humble and kind act. If you have a lot you give a little from your share to those who don't have enough. There is nothing to feel proud because money is such a thing it comes and goes. It's the people who we have to hold on to. Humility and kindness is what we expect from people who donate because I feel they have bigger heart where they are ready to accommodate who are in need.

"You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." ~ Khalil Gibran

I had to write this post because this incident was bothering me for two reasons, one the way they spoke to the lady and then about give and take charity. Never heard such thing and specially from the one whom everyone is praising for the donation. 

I figure these days charity is a business and it is hard to understand who is helping from heart for the well being and who is doing it for self-promotion.

"Happiness doesn't result from what we get, but from what we give" ~ Ben Carson

~ Dawn

A Bart ride one afternoon...

This afternoon for some reason instead of taking Uber I decided to take Bart.

When you are not used to public transport for long time, it can freak you out. I was making sure I am getting into the right train and then when I did get into one, I made sure I am sitting at a seat which is near the door and was constantly looking at the window to check which station it is.

“Time goes faster the more hollow it is. Lives with no meaning go straight past you, like trains that don’t stop at your station.” ~ Carlos Ruiz Zafon

I had been a heavy user of public transport when I was in Toronto, Canada and to tell you the truth I enjoyed it even though the initial radar of alertness was always there about your surroundings but that I don’t look at as inexperience. I rather feel one should be cautious about their surroundings always.

“You can’t understand a city without using its public transportation system.” ~ Erol Ozan

Bart, I always have heard negative things whether it’s about the issues with the riders or with the train itself. All these thoughts were going through my mind but being positive as my habit I enjoyed the ride. Few people were getting off as their destination arrived and the train was getting empty or rather it was getting more spacious.

I saw three kids – I can say because there was a boy who could be of 4- 5 years old and he was being referred as Chris. Chris was getting bored and restless and one can see that because the other two people (boy and a girl) who looked as if they are a couple but very young may be around 18-19 years old and I don’t know their names. Chris was so restless that he started lying down on the seat and later on the floor of the train and I wondered why he is doing like that and how come the couple doesn’t say anything to him.

As I was thinking about it, the girl started calling him, Chris, get up why are you being like this? And the boy had no response.

After long time Chris got up and sat on the seat and I was in between busy looking at the name of the station as the train stopped.

“The easiest way to meet people is to just look like someone who is willing to listen” ~ Robert Brault

The girl who was sitting with her boyfriend, looking at me she said, Ma’am are you a therapist by any chance?

I looked at her and smiled and said, ‘Why? You need help for Chris?

She smiled back at me as if nodding yes!

I looked at Chris who was turning his back to me and looking at his mother (by now I heard the conversation where she said you are not listening to your mom).

In a friendly way, I said – Chris, want to be my friend? Give me hi-five!

The mother or the girl as I referred above, said Chris see the lady wants to be your friend. At this, Chris got shy and he started hiding his face.

By that time the boy who was sitting next to Chris’s mother said, why you taking help from strangers?

The girl/mother replied, well you’re not helping me either, so I asked for help at least it will keep him away from misbehaving.

It just took me to think, teenage lovers and probably became mother and all these responsibilities. I felt bad for Chris, because he needed someone who can understand him and probably spend time with him.

“Sometimes the greatest adventure is simply a conversation.” ~ Amadeus Wolfe

I wish I could do something, but I cannot. As the train stopped at my destination, I got up from my seat and waved at Chris, saying Bye Chris, take care.

The mother/girl, immediately asked Chris to say – bye! He was still shy and instead the mother said – Bye lady and you have a great day and thank you!

I smiled back waving at her saying you too!

I reached home and shared the story with my daughter because she is 19 years old and I shared how I felt for that girl and her child.

Sometimes, kids are not kids anymore and those who are kids they don’t get to be kids anymore!!! ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

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BALANCE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU FIND, IT'S SOMETHING YOU CREATE..!

There was a time when we had a bifurcation between professional and personal life. Then eventually the fast pace caught up in such a way that the bifurcation line started fading away and probably the 'work-life' balance kicked in.

It's interesting how life long humans get groomed for a job - when you are a kid, you have to go to school to study well to score good in subjects that will help you to get admission in good colleges and from there to professional ones so that you get a good job which is well paying huh!
When you do get into the job, for the growth in the company one goes through so many training. This could be training in communication skills, behavioural and managerial skills, crucial conversation and if you're a manager then to enhance your people's manager skills one will go through unconscious bias training etc. 
All this effort is to have a good communication skills based on your audience, build relationship with your colleagues or manager by having those crucial conversations where you speak your mind and heart so that the other person reacts to it with more understanding and the best is that you make sure unconsciously you are not bias with your team or anyone at work. 

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" :)

If we say work-life balance is important, family and love is important in life, spending time with loved ones is what life's all about then why not we go through trainings to improve this phase of life?
I mean these days there are so many trainings involved at work that one can easily apply these skills and methodologies to their personal life too. 
Communication skill, now tell me how many of you have issues where your spouse might be talking in a tone that upsets you or gives an indication that they are irritated or unhappy. How do you convey this to them in a simpler manner so that they don't get offended but get the message across so that they can change their tone or way of communication?
Same way, how do one explain that what they think best as their behaviour, expression of love, that is not actually perceived the same way by the other spouse? Because at work we do hear that everyone has a perception about themselves as what people might think about them, and then people have a different perception about you which could be totally different than what you think you are. 

"Truth is universal. Perception of truth is not. The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. If the doors of the perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite".

It's always good to have that open and transparent communication between relationships as well. People have issues and that's just not surprising because everyone is different and no one has to be like someone else just because they have no other option. In fact for healthy relationship whether it's at work or personal life all relationships have to be maintained in one or the other way and if that is with respect and equality then it brings all kinds of fairness in it.

People have ego going to marriage counsellors because the reality may come out when two spouse will discuss about each other's behaviour. If you are so self-centered then might as well take these professional courses which will help you to shape in a good human being. Because people are different when they are at work and they can be a total different individual when they are at home. There's always a dual-personality within that you carry and it is well controlled and selective behaviour which individuals elect to play.
A perfect example is of the former Apple engineer Neha Rastogi - hasn't she brought up the abusive nature of her spouse openly no one would have known the other side of Silicon Valley CEO Abhishek Gattani. There are so many who suffer quietly sometimes for the sake of kids, sometimes for the society and sometimes the emotional attachments. Is it worth? 
We always hear at work if you are not getting what you are looking for in your career, and you are not happy then pave your path to success by choosing what you want then why can't the same be applicable in personal life of individuals?

"Fairness is protecting not only you but all who are involved"

~ Dawn

Communication is a knife !?!

What is communication? We all talk about this word whether its in office with our team, in the company or even in the family and in relationship as well.

What in reality communication means? Is it only to convey a message? Is it only to listen and don't give your opinion? Or is it a selective listening strategy which one expresses that yes we communicate well.

My thought process and belief about communication is that between two people, or many people such as in a company - it is to openly communicate, share and discuss. During this one can share what they know and others don't, they can discuss if there is a question or solution that they are asking from others or to even to a next level where you can challenge someone if you don't agree with their discussion or point. Many times in stead of creating a healthy discussion, and communication between two people or a group, it ends up in an argument.

Have you come across such a situation ever in life? Many times this comes out with people who are close to you because colleagues will always take it in a professional manner and try to respect each other's opinion rather than getting into an argument - easy to express your opinion and easy to move out by listening to others opinion even though you might not agree with their views.

People argue to agree to disagree and later it turns out to be in two ways - either you stop discussing / communicating / ignore OR you move out of that zone altogether where you don't even communicate with them because the outcome of the whole thing leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

In such case what is there? Healthy communication which should improve the relationship and bring closeness or even bring a broad minded thinking it turns out to be total disaster. 

Why people then say for any relationship to flourish or any process and team to work appropriately - communication should be there. In my so far life I have heard of over communication is better than no communication.

I grew up communicating with my parents about everything that used to happen in my life and that was most of the school time stories and discussions. Sometimes things that I shared were looked at different ways and I used to get a feedback or suggestion that you should have done this way or that way and I used to respect their opinion and used to logically think about it such that I could use that next time.

School life to college life and so forth but nothing changed in my style of communication. I rather became more close to my parents and brother as I wanted them to be part of everything that I do in school or outside of house.

Time changed and as I moved to a independent level I realized communication always helped in all stages of life. Whether it was to communicate to someone about a pain, or even a happiness it was very obvious and clear in communication. 

But many times this communication has become a big problem in life. Have you ever come across this way? 

My still belief is that good or bad if someone is taking a comment or topic discussion as personal then it can become an argumentative communication but then isn't communication all about opening up, giving room to others to express their views and opinions and respectfully communicate your own views or opinions?

I feel mostly these days communication is what killing the relationship or bringing issues. The more smart and intelligent we assume about ourselves the more we keep expectations from others as how to react to our communications or discussions and views. It is becoming as to dictate others and this is something I don't consider as an open communication to flourish any relationship or resolve any issues or come to any solutions.

At the end communication I see as a sharp knife, which can cut fruits and vegetables for you at the same time if you don't use the knife properly it can cut your fingers too.

Are we moving more towards a world where technology is taking over without even making us realizing about what we are missing about in-person communication or one on one communication? People are more tend to get communication from internet, documentaries or TED talks etc but people are so sold out to these that when they find someone in person to communicate or talk, they end up arguing and part with ill-feeling.

Sad, but we should think about it technology should be working for us and not we becoming handicap to technology and lose connection with real people.

An expression - whether its happiness, anger, disagreement its all a way of communicating and expressing the feelings. If you consider your loved ones are really your loved ones then do listen and give room to think about and listen to what they are trying to communicate.

Communication is a knife which anyway is going to cut things try to use it to cut through all barriers and reduce distances rather than murdering it.

~ Dawn