The art of conversation lies in listening..!

There are so many ways we express and these days there are so many ways that you can express yourself.

Here it is about talking, expressing yourself through words to someone. There are times when we talk, explain and make one another understand each other. It could be at work, at home or at any place that you can think of. 

These days people have emojis to express but then that doesn't give you sufficient ways to express - say if you are happy you will say 😄 but why you're happy you can express through that emoji can you?

"Speech is power: Speech is to Persuade, to convert, to compel." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Hence, talking and expressing is so important, but if no one listens to it then what's the use of that talk or expression? I learned in a sales training that it is so important to listen. It's not that before that I was not listening, I would listen to whoever is talking to me, whether my friends, my family or even someone who is fighting , still I will give an ear to it. 

"Freedom of speech should be wide open as long as it doesn't incite violence." ~ Mike Leach

I believe, one should listen to understand the issue, or scenario to come to any conclusion because otherwise it is called assumption and one shouldn't make that because it will not lead you any where. Hence, listening to someone as what they are trying to say? If you still have doubt you can ask questions and get clarification but if you just stop listening and keep blabbering while the other person is talking then its a chaos monkey!!!

And when someone does that, you know they don't want to listen and when they don't want to listen means they are not willing to make any friendly approach towards what you are planning to share.

It's very absurd when someone tells you that you talk but I am not going to listen. There is no point in saying even that you talk!

"The power of speech is the ability to express a lot in a few words." ~ Plutarch

I had such experience but somehow I wanted them to listen what I had to say because it is very important to clear off any misunderstandings and I always believe one must get the opportunity to clear that off. No matter what, one must listen and then what you have to make a decision is up to you but make sure you clear your part either by talking or by writing because these days communication can be in many different ways. People send flowers and express their happiness and love so why not we listen if someone is talking to you?

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." ~ Bryant H. McGill

I understand unnecessary talking becomes noise. When someone is explaining the situation or a question or an expression in what regards they started, that should help the person who is listening. Hence, a communication and a good conversation is very important between people and if there is no hope still a goodbye is a good closure to the topic but yes, you must say and listen to it too.

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

It’s easy to stand with the crowd it takes courage to stand alone..!

Have you ever lived alone? I mean for the first time how was it? I am not sure if this is something that you will think could be different but for me it was a whole new experience and that too in a completely different country.

Like here in US/Canada, kids would be out of home by the time they are sixteen or later for college and they learn early to be independent and live their life.

I grew up in a country where kids don't leave their home until they are married off and this is specially about girls because boys will get married and bring home his wife and live with parents. But that doesn't mean that kids don't live in dorm or hostel for their college, they do. In my case, I literally grew up living with my parents until that one day I decided to migrate to Canada. A decision very gallantly taken by me without even thinking.

Things worked out for me in such a way that I landed in Canada and after couple months living as paying guest in couple folks house, I decided to be brave enough to live by myself as paying guest was not literally paying guest, it was more like an extended family where even though you pay your rent and hope everyone will mind their own business but that was not the case.

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone."

I moved to a one bedroom apartment in Toronto, on the East York side as I wanted to be close to my work place as those days I am completely relying on public transport system TTC.

Living alone for me had its own experience as I was scared too because I have never lived alone before.

I had a call-center job those days which would start at 4:45 pm to 11:45 pm and there was no commission of the sales that I make hence it was a typical office contract job as medical is free so didn't have to be a full time job with benefits. 

Since the timing was such I used to come home late night and that was very scary and tensed moment - the walk from the bus-stand till my room and why I say room because even if I enter the building the worst part was going in the elevator as after midnight you don't know who's who?

Once I was inside my apartment, It was my world and my life no one has anything to know or do with it. I used to come home get fresh and go to bed those days I didn't have mobile phones and there was no smart-phones so the only phone I had was landline and no one would call that late unless it was an international call to India. 

I think living there alone in my own world, I felt this was the first time I was trying to know myself better. It's not that as a child I didn't have the freedom to do things that I liked but I figure that lot of things that we do gets carried away with our family, parents, siblings and we just follow those and we do find happiness.

"Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself."

I used to love to keep my apartment clean and tidy. I would read books after that and make food and at times I used to go to the nearest public library and go read newspapers and magazines. It used to give me a feel of I am responsible and making my decision though it was new so I would think properly before making that decision - should I take the bus and just travel from one end to the other just because I have a monthly pass and anyhow I have to use it.

The best part was that for TTC you can go one way no matter how far you only use one ticket except that the transit is in one direction. If you break and go some other route then you have to pay another ticket. Hence going one way and getting down to do some shopping and getting back in the same bus was something I found very comfortable and easy as compared to moving around in Pune, India, where you have to know the route and then the right bus to go there and then find the right address to reach the destination. I used to feel so happy that I am traveling alone and that too in Toronto, Canada.

I used to make phone calls to some friends that I had made in the call center and the funny part was that they used to talk to me on the phone for hours and hours because they would say its only twenty five cents. I used to feel worried as in India I used to make phone calls only for emergency purpose or to give any message as I am going to be late or so. But here, I was able to keep my relationship with my friends as we daily meet at lunch time at work but weekends it was good to connect with them specially when I was all by myself, talking to friends would bring more cheer to me.

"Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." ~ Henry Rollins

And this making phone calls to my friends didn't come up just like that, it was the time when I used to feel very lonely. Weekdays was busy with work and hence it was the weekends when I used to feel lonely. After finishing my chores and reading books as the sunsets my day would be more gloomy and when I shared this with my friends at work, they immediately said don't worry we will turn by turn call you and that will take your loneliness away. Such good friends I had one was Lisa Jattan from Trinidad and other one Valerie Shan, she was from Pakistan married to Sri Lankan. We had so many beautiful days whether it's on the phone, at work life was for like college those days.

I remember going to a dandia (dance with sticks that you play at India festival). Today when I think I laugh at it but those days I don't know much about things but I would look at the advertisement pamphlet and find my route on the map and just dress up in Indian saree and would show up alone and dance in the group and before midnight I would make sure I come home. Those ones really boost my confidence as back home, I was always taught to be cautious and careful and hence many time when I am traveling alone I would be more stressed with that thought but here I was happy though cautious but I was doing things that I thought I will give a try.

"The soul that sees beauty may sometimes walk alone."

I also one day figured out to keep myself busy, went to nearby old age home facility where I used to go and sit with elderly people and spend time. I used to just sit and watch them initially and later I started engaging with them in conversation and one time I got scolded by one of the elderly lady who thought me to be her daughter. Later I realized she is Alzheimer patient and she scolded me for not showing up all these days - I got nervous and cried but immediately the staff came and rescued me. But next day I was confident to go and hug her and she smiled at me and said comb my hair its been long time. I remember I used to play with them, laugh and cry too.

It's true that I would be very cautious when I am out but inside me I was a free living being. I loved those moments and still cherish the memories.

"Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes, in the middle of nowhere you find yourself."

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

The only impossible journey is the one you never begin...!

Happy New Year to my readers!

Also, I don't believe there's anything as new year and let things begin because its new year!
The dates on the calendar keeps going and it will do so. What we do and when we do is what our new beginning starts so, start thinking about that purpose of yours that is driving you each day and night. Without you taking that step nothing is going to change, not even the new year! So, get set and go!!!!

"Delay is not a help-mate. The cemetery is full of people who thought they could Do It tomorrow. Do It Now!" !~  Israelmore Ayivor

My last post was about my Europe trip and my personal experiences and this year 2020 kickstarted with another journey and this time it's to the homeland - Mother India.

Each time I travel to home, I have new experience and new learnings about life. This time we landed in Bangalore and let me tell you that each time I come here I find a new city and new place altogether. May be it is the change, may be it is that so called progress of a city that it keeps changing in its appearance and lets its people to adapt it as well. We decided to travel to Kerala to my parents place via train. 

"Live with no excuses and travel with no regrets." ~ Oscar Wilde

Now, let me tell you when its about trains, it's a nostalgia for me as my school vacation times in train from Pune to Kerala and vice versa was the most memorable time. The little kid in me joined my 12 year old Son and I started telling him the story. I was traveling in Indian Railway after 15 years and I was almost realizing that the dreams can come true even when you may not be exactly dreaming about it.
Last when I was traveling to Kerala from Pune was with my 4 year old daughter and my purpose to take her through this journey was to see the world and see the kids of her age who sometimes are not enjoying the basic rights of going to school but instead, begging in the train for food and water. I was glad when my daughter recently shared this story with her younger brother. We must feel thankful for what we have!!!
Because it was a train journey I was making sure I am taking small suitcases that I can carry and place it under the train seat and it seemed like we packed for the whole village :).

We reached Karmelaram railway station where we got the train to Shoranur. It was an air-conditioned compartment and as usual I got the top sleeper berth to sleep and my son was already excited to sleep on the middle berth as it was all like a bunk bed for him. We both were in out own way enjoying our experiences and I was reliving my childhood. 

"The right train of thought can take you to a better station in life." ~ ;)

Night was peaceful and as usual I used to wakeup and look for luggage if its all safe and then go back to sleep. The usual things we learn as we grow! Around 6 am our train reached Shoranur junction and it was time for us to get down. 
I never got a chance to walk-around on the railway station besides rushing from one train to the other but today we went around to use rest room and get fresh before we head to the next leg of the journey. 
It was nice and clean everywhere. What caught my eyes was the 'Google Station' almost everywhere providing free wifi. I literally thanked @sundar pichai and the railway minister @piyush goyal ! Simple pleasure for this generation :).

Looking around the station gave a different feeling altogether. There were times when we had to carry our suitcases through those stairs and it used to be painful but now there was a lift which was such a great convenience with all that luggage that we were carrying with us. Besides that it was helpful for elders and specially abled people too. I was amazed!
When you say all the good things, you must say things that need an improvement. 
We were first standing in line for lift at the railway station and my Mom-in law who is senior citizen and yet this guy comes and ignores we 7 people standing there in line and stands in front of the lift and as soon the door opens he gets in without any hesitation....!
I was damn upset and I just looked at him and asked my sister-in law what kind of man he is who has no respect for others who are in line, I think there should be a board that should mention about the courteous behavior expectation from people standing in line for the lift.

"Knowledge will give you power, but character respect." ~ Bruce Lee

Getting out of Shoranur station in a taxi ride through the roads of Kerala at dawn was an amazing dream. I am not sure if I can explain in words what it means to be sitting in a taxi where there is no intervention of heavy music or even the taxi driver's annoying questions but the peacefulness of Mother Nature at dawn was a meditative feeling watching those dawn scenes and the Christmas decorations that was still hanging out as a star.

Kids growing in America when they see stray dogs they feel very sorry. My son when he saw a dog sleeping on the platform, he said that's so sad! 
I immediately asked him why sad? He said, look at those dogs they don't have owners, they don't have food and no place to stay. I saw few people also sleeping there and I said look there are people also who are sleeping there. More over, these dogs they get food from people and that's how they survive and this is the place where they stay!!!

But by giving that answer, it made me think and I said to myself - aren't we all supposed to be like that dog? Who doesn't belong here forever! We come here and we stay as long as we can and then we exit because we are mortal. Instead, we build houses, buy luxurious things and get attached to all the materialistic things and surround ourselves with that as if we are going to live here forever!!!!
Think!!!

"You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need." ~ Vernon Howard

~ Dawn

Crepi lupo!

Paris fever was not down yet when we landed in Rome. It's hot, when I say that it means it's hot as if you're in the oven and yet you're dripping wet with sweat.

Our experience with bed and breakfast was way different than what I had experienced long back in 2000 when I did the UK trip. It's an apartment and each room is given to individuals. There's no breakfast by the way, it's just that you get beds to sleep and common bathroom to use. Now this comes interesting if you were not told about this, obviously one wouldn't book if that was known earlier. Something to be aware for next time.
When the bed and breakfast was like this, the view on Rome or rather I should say Italy was way different because now mind is trapped with judgement. Anyway I even went as far as thinking about Sonia Gandhi, the former Congress President of India, as it was her place and this is how she must have lived and what not.

We got out to walk around and eat, it was good. This place looked like India. My kids were surprised as they even kept saying it smells like India...! Well what do you think of Europe? It's not all that heaven. But I truly feel that we are spoiled in North America and probably our expectations around the world too. May be that's why people don't like North Americans unless you're from Canada!
One thing we figured out Rome is for Romans, the believers. It was good to go on the guided tours to understand the history of Rome, and that rivalry, slavery, women as second or third class category, it all make sense that we have not changed even though a lot has changed for people from then to today!
I wish it was a bit cooler and less crowded, but at this time it's only a wish.

People didn't seem all that friendly and I felt may be that's because of certain place that I stayed or people don't smile at tourists? In bocca Al lupa!
Three nights we spent here and we visited Colesseum, couple of churches, Vatican museum. In fact I walked through those 14 steps on my knees where Jesus Christ walked when he was crucified on the cross.
We had an amazing experience of meeting a malayali family who invited us to their home, rather the person's brother came all the way to escort us knowing we are new in town.
This trip also helped understanding how people migrate to Italy, in what conditions and circumstances, what kind of jobs they do and how they survive at one place with multiple families living together to save money and look forward for a better future.
Some still have that pride of living in Roman Catholics country and struggle for that sake is not a big issue.

We had the opportunity to eat Indian Kerala food and the hospitality indeed was touching to the heart. You go places and meet some people and you connect in today's world virtually as well that's today's era!
It was very obvious by now that we were there to see some places and leave when it's time to leave!
Evening we went out when the Sun set and Moon showed up for dinner. Since it was very hot we decided to eat light and simple nearby. The first restaurant that showed up we went in, it was a Chinese food and believe me it was incredible. The food was tasty and spicy and it was not pricey at all.

As they say all thats well ends well... We took the morning train to Venice with new hope and new adventure... Until then it's in bocca al lupo to us until we reach home safely!

~ Dawn

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect"

It was for the first time I did participate in the poetry month celebration where each day I was writing a poetry in Hindi and English.

Writing for me is something that comes from heart. I will not have anything written for days and weeks and that’s okay because mind has to process sometimes and it’s a dilemma what to process and extract out of it and what not to.

But putting oneself through challenge is also a fun, an art and it helps to see yourself how you perform.

“You must stay drunk on writing, so reality cannot destroy you.” ~ Ray Bradbury

I did poetry every day and that too in two different languages and made sure that before midnight I fulfill that deadline. However, I would like to confess that as the time nears to the end of the month you really get shortage on topics and the challenging aspect of that to me is that I am not able to write if it’s not from my heart. Hence, situations like that did allow me to do some soul searching within.

It’s a good practice and while I was in the middle of April poetry month I told myself probably I will continue this even next month and this is how it should continue. But by the time it was April 30^th I felt I need to take a break 😊.

“There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.” ~ Frank Herbert

Hence, I thought of writing my experience of this writing poetry every day during poetry month. What surprising to me was that even though I was writing poetry in two different language my topic was different which makes me wonder why?

When I decided to work on this poetry each day for next 30 days, I found that I was focused, and my mind was not wandering anywhere because with the new job it’s interesting how I am enjoying the work, team and overall experiencing the change. In that whatever time is left it was for thinking for that day what happened or what stuck to my heart that I can write about.

“Start writing, no matter what. The water does not flow until the faucet is turned on.” ~ Louis L’Amour

Since I have joined the new company, I have been saving time on the commute and this is allowing me to read a lot. There has been lot of reading on the internet and it’s so amazing that I got back to my reading which is very addictive, and I have enjoyed this addiction in the past.

Even though I am late for this month by two days, I have decided to write prose on different topics based on what pricks my mind for that day. Today I had to share my poetry month experience and I hope my readers who liked and commented had some experience to share here.

Always challenge yourself it keeps you active and young ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

However long the night, the dawn will break ... ;-)

These days there are so many waves in my heart that I resist to express any. Why? When I was born to express and move on! It's true we change, sometimes the time brings that change in us or sometimes people and incidents. But if we change, then we are not who we are...we are someone else!

It's been a while and I see how my writing has reduced not because I don't have anything to write. But because, I resist. I am often scared of myself and not others and hence I resist because I don't know what I will write which may be truth and yet hurt someone.

"Truth never damages a cause that is just" ~ M.K. Gandhi

Friends who know me call me sometimes free-spirited or flower child. And even if time may change me as a person the free spirit is the foundation that came by birth and hence let's live and let others live is something that is fabricated in me.

" I have danced too deeply in my shadows, to ever fear the walk of my sunshine" ~ Nikki Rowe

Life has always been good to me and I am very thankful for that because I have seen both side of life - the good and the bad and I do feel that there's nothing called as bad because it taught me about life. An experience that you don't gain by reading books or watching movies or even listening to stories, one has to live it, feel it and experience it. After that what decision you take that's the turning point.

I believe there's nothing good or bad decisions or things as right or wrong. It's your own belief that you create and rely on which may support you to survive in your own way without a guilt. After all Newton's 3rd law comes in place even if you don't believe in science you will believe in myths or philosophies where you will agree that things happen for a reason!

"There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." ~ Shakespeare 

I believe in this life whomever I have met and crossed my path with, it was necessary and part of this journey where I had to learn something or the other from them. We all learn from each other and that's the reason we are always inquisitive and excited because we are in a journey like a tourist in this world.

As we all know nature's way in fall where it's either the late stage of maturity or early stage of decline but the sooner we understand and adapt the better transition we can expect and to pass that phase it becomes easier than difficult.  But everything is not so planned and channelised as well because we are human and we think from heart and our mind comes in the way.

People say living on their own terms. I believe its living by listening to your own heart and things happen for a reason and I also believe that the soul that you come with in this body is not created by any society or cult. So why one should live by the society and their frippery rules? Why even you try to be someone that fits in that cult, when you're of your own kind?

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" ;-)

One life dropped in here then just live and enjoy the ride because when your station comes you will be dropped and won't be allowed to be here - so make it to the fullest!

~ Dawn

Don't Let Your Fears Win.....

There is a saying, if you really want to kill someone then kill the fear inside you. My goal in life always had been around this.

I have been always scared of water, even though as a child I used to play in the Pamba (holy river in Kerala) river, which was near my grandma's home. Every other summer vacation we used to be at grandma's and the best part of visiting there was that I used to go to the river with everyone from the house that goes to take a dip.

Playing inside the river with my brother and cousins, throwing stones and then dive to fetch that same stone and what not but those days fear was not there. I realized as a kid when we don't know much we just take a step and move forward. Fear is not there of anything as its unknown but the moment we grow up and knows a hell lot or even little it builds that fear and then we try to pull ourselves backward.

I had a long time wish to do snorkeling even though I don't know how to swim. My aunt used to teach me whenever I used to visit Kerala for summer vacation but after I return I used to forget it. 

My visit to Hawaii a first time here, but doesn't feel that I don't know anything about it. Because every tree and flower, birds, ocean makes me feel I know them from back home. It gives me a feel of Kerala.

We planned today to snorkel and hence I was also prepared as I was more eager to see how I kill this fear and enjoy when I don't know how to swim. The crew was awesome and really made everyone very comfortable. Since I told them that I don't know swimming and this is my first time to snorkel, they literally spent one on one time with me. 

The captain of the boat Chad who very carefully asked me to step into the ocean while he let me hold to the boogie board and without anything he just said, try to look inside the water.

First I couldn't figured out as how come he is asking me to look down without wearing my mask and gear. Yet, I listened to him. Its one of those moments when you know the expert knows better than you so let go and give the control to them.

I looked down inside the ocean and the sight was mesmerizing. It was all colorful beautiful shaped coral reefs and different colored fishes around me and all across. I looked up to Chad and he said isn't this beautiful what you see there down? 

That lead me to wear my mask and gear but I was scared when Chad was about to leave me saying your life jacket will not let you drown. This will keep you floating in the water and you can hang on to the board and look inside. He was right, but the fear inside me was not letting me to.

I just requested him not to leave and he helped me through out to take my own time to feel comfortable with floating and taking support of the boogie board. 

After an hours snorkeling at 180 feet we came on board to move from Molokini - a crescent shaped submerged volcanic crater to another location for watching Green Hawaiian Turtles at the Turtle Town.

This time I was much confident and was feeling better to go for another round of snorkeling. The crew knew that I needed their help hence Allison the life guard she helped me in fact she was nice to be with me while I started focussing on the underwater world living creatures. It was beautiful to watch those colorful fishes, star fishes, octopus and many beautiful coral reefs. As I was going through each one of them I saw this big green colored Hawaiian turtles that were swimming in their own pace and mood. The world is so beautiful inside there, as everyone is in their own space and no one is bothering anyone, even we as humans have intervened their world yet they are so peaceful.

I somehow fell in love with the underwater world where there is beauty, peace and harmony too. It was tough to make the decision to go back to the boat because at the end we all had to come back to the shore.

A unique experience for me, it was like looking through the window and you see the clear sight of beautiful world. The world where we as human were also moving around in the similar fashion as the sea creatures were, with the mask and gear breathing and floating around.

I wish we human also did the same in our own world? 

~ Dawn