Defying Definitions: 28 Years of Living My Own Truth

 

April 10th marks a profound personal milestone. Twenty-eight years ago, on April 10th, 1997, I stepped off the plane at Toronto International Airport, alone, into a country utterly new and unknown. There was no meticulously crafted plan, only an unwavering determination to forge my own path. Now, on April 10th, 2025, looking back, the journey feels incredibly significant. I arrived carrying the weight of someone else's aspirations, and from there, I had to weave in my own dreams. Some initial decisions weren't mine, but ultimately, I charted my own course, and I hold no regrets.

"The most profound journeys are often those taken without a map, guided only by the compass of your own heart."

When loved ones inquire about guilt, my answer remains a firm no, never. No guilt, no regrets, because every decision I made felt right for me, and I consciously ensured they didn't negatively impact others. Venturing down unconventional paths has gifted me invaluable life lessons, the kind that classrooms and textbooks can't offer, not even the well-intentioned guidance of parents who always sought to shield me. But life, as it often does, had its own script. I've been blessed with the amazing experience of connecting with diverse individuals, forming cherished friendships, and exploring a multifaceted career. I deliberately pushed my boundaries, embracing discomfort in various professional roles, and emerged a successful human being. These opportunities shattered the self-imposed limitations, proving that the "I can't" I once believed was a lie. The girl who once feared solo autorickshaw rides has since navigated unfamiliar territories and thrived. I've indeed come a long way.

"Every unexpected turn holds the potential for a beautiful discovery about yourself and the world."

The same girl whom some classmates envisioned solely as a capable housewife, adept at cooking sambar, now finds herself working in the tech industry in North America—a reality they, too, share today. The truth is, society often attempts to define and confine us based on external perceptions, but true empowerment lies in self-belief and pursuing one's own convictions. I'm filled with gratitude for the countless anonymous acts of kindness: the stranger who guided me when I was lost after a bus ride, the person who pointed me towards my destination. These stories underscore the inherent humanity and the presence of good-hearted individuals who offer assistance without judgment, helping us navigate towards our chosen paths.

"In the tapestry of life, every thread, planned or unplanned, contributes to the beauty of the whole. Gratitude weaves it all together."

My childhood dream was simple: a life on a farm, a small hut surrounded by nature, sustenance from the land, and cooking with the aid of a trusty geyser – a vivid dream that felt like a deep-seated yearning. Today, my reality far surpasses that initial vision, and I am overflowing with gratitude. I fondly remember my dear friend Carol (who passed away too soon) making me promise not to leave Canada for the USA. I kept that promise for a time, but years after her passing, meeting Vinod led me to the United States. And I can honestly say, people in the USA are kind too. Life is beautiful, and we must do what resonates with our own journey. Don't seek external validation; it's unnecessary. Carry your dreams and aspirations, not the burden of others' opinions. Extend love to everyone and give back where you can. Ultimately, we are all on a cyclical journey.

"Twenty-eight years later, I realize the most beautiful chapters are often the ones I never saw coming."

"The girl who stepped off that plane couldn't have imagined this life, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Gratitude fills my heart for a loving husband who is also my best friend and an incredible father. My children, in their constant state of growth, allow me to relive my own childhood – the highs of high school, the milestones of college, the excitement of that first job. Isn't there a unique joy in growing up again and again? Perhaps we never truly grow up, for it's in that perpetual state of learning and making mistakes that we gain wisdom. I realize now that I've spent more of my life outside my birth country than within it. This day always prompts reflection, a yearly striving to become a better version of myself – a journey that continues.

"Don't wait for permission to bloom; plant your own seeds and trust the unfolding." 

~ Dawn

Things end but memories last forever..!

 

Today I want to talk about unforgettable experience. I have many when I think of it because in life there are so many opportunities where we experience good or not so good but those remains in our mind like a memory book. The moment you think of it, like each page the incident or the experience unfolds one by one.

"Memories are timeless treasure of heart."

I am going to share one of them today with my friends here.

I was in Toronto, Canada in they year 1997 May timeframe when I had just started a parti-time cashier's job as I was new in the country and I was still looking for a job based on my education and my interest. Once you land your bill starts so its better to get going with any job that you get and that's how I ended up at this role. It was at Marche in downtown. My job was only on weekends because weekdays other cashiers would be there and hence I don't get a chance to work on weekdays but I used that time to apply at different jobs and give interviews etc.

I started my job a week ago and the problem was that I was always reaching my job late though I am always ahead of my time waiting for the bus but I only get it at 9 am and hence I used to be late. I got first time a warning from the manager saying, if I don't come on time he will fire me. 

I was very stressed and not only that but I was very scared too as I was new in the country. I used to be at the stop at 6 am to reach 9 am and still I get the bus at 9 am from my stop. I was very frustrated and I asked the people where I was renting and they also didn't give me any proper guidance as they said go early and stand at the bus-stop.

That day after getting the warning from the boss for the second time, I was very nervous because my fear of loosing this job, then how am I going to pay the rent? How I am going to pay for my grocery, my bus-pass and so forth and all these worries were sitting on my head and I was getting tensed.

"We don't remember days, we remember moments."

This was my 2nd week's weekend and I decided I have to go early no matter what. As usual I got ready and went to the bus-stop and waited. There were not a single person around there except me and at times you will see some cars would drive by and people inside would stare at me. I used to get nervous because being a woman standing alone at the bus-stop early morning and Sun had to come yet. All the street lights were still on and in my mind I would say, You have to reach on time. You can't give another change for your boss to scold you.

I kept repeating in my mind and I saw couple people wearing jackets walking by the bus-stop. But I thought they must be going some other place so I didn't bother but when I saw frequency of people going increased, I stopped one guy who was passing by the bus-stop and I said, Excuse me please! do you know when the bus will come because I have been waiting since long time and I have to reach downtown by 9 am. Can you help?

The guy seemed from Sri Lanka and how you will wonder but it's not a tough to recognize for people like us who are coming from India. If I say they have a different look, some will laugh but believe me, Sri Lankan Tamil person has a unique feature and they speak different type of Tamil language than people speaking Tamil in Chennai, India.

The guy looked at me and smiled, said the bus here will come at 9 am and if you want to catch an early bus then you can walk with me as on weekends, this area buses only starts at 9 am whereas, if we walk a half a mile, you will see there is Blue Night Network bus service that goes overnight. This was an enlightenment for me because first of all no one told me about this and now I was going to discover this blue night service bus which I will have to walk a mile now from my home but at least there is a hope.

I literally wanted to hold his hand and say thank you, but he was a stranger and I said I will walk behind you but thank you for your guidance because if today you were not here I probably would have lost my job. He smiled and walked in front.

"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."

I reached the stop and what I see is all those people who were passing by the bus-stop that I was waiting at they were all heading to this bus-stop to catch the blue night service bus so they can go to their work.

I was so happy, so relieved, so tension-free that when I got in the bus I thanked the gentleman again and then I went and stood at one corner as the bus was crowded and seats were all taken. 

As the bus was crossing Eglington station due to traffic the bus was stopping in between and this gentleman got down in between and then suddenly appeared with two coffee in his hand and offered one to me. I was surprised but he said please have it, you looked so tensed I thought I can at least do this because I don't know if I will ever meet you again.

Those words melt my heart and I accepted the coffee and thanked him again. After taking few sips when I look, this man disappeared and I kept on looking for him front of the bus back of the bus, inside and outside of the bus and I couldn't find him ever.

"People say that bad memories cause the most pain, but actually it's the good ones that drive you insane."

That day onwards I was always on time in fact ahead of my schedule and manager was happy too.

Even today when I think of that day, I tell myself if he had not shown the way to the blue night service bus then probably I would have lost my job. I was new and naive in that country and anyone could easily make out that I am new here and could have taken advantage of my situation but nothing like that happened.

I still remember that face but I never met him ever after that day.

Often we meet people in life for a reasons!

"Life brings tears, smiles and memories. The tears dry, smiles fade, but the memories last forever."

~ Dawn