Defying Definitions: 28 Years of Living My Own Truth

 

April 10th marks a profound personal milestone. Twenty-eight years ago, on April 10th, 1997, I stepped off the plane at Toronto International Airport, alone, into a country utterly new and unknown. There was no meticulously crafted plan, only an unwavering determination to forge my own path. Now, on April 10th, 2025, looking back, the journey feels incredibly significant. I arrived carrying the weight of someone else's aspirations, and from there, I had to weave in my own dreams. Some initial decisions weren't mine, but ultimately, I charted my own course, and I hold no regrets.

"The most profound journeys are often those taken without a map, guided only by the compass of your own heart."

When loved ones inquire about guilt, my answer remains a firm no, never. No guilt, no regrets, because every decision I made felt right for me, and I consciously ensured they didn't negatively impact others. Venturing down unconventional paths has gifted me invaluable life lessons, the kind that classrooms and textbooks can't offer, not even the well-intentioned guidance of parents who always sought to shield me. But life, as it often does, had its own script. I've been blessed with the amazing experience of connecting with diverse individuals, forming cherished friendships, and exploring a multifaceted career. I deliberately pushed my boundaries, embracing discomfort in various professional roles, and emerged a successful human being. These opportunities shattered the self-imposed limitations, proving that the "I can't" I once believed was a lie. The girl who once feared solo autorickshaw rides has since navigated unfamiliar territories and thrived. I've indeed come a long way.

"Every unexpected turn holds the potential for a beautiful discovery about yourself and the world."

The same girl whom some classmates envisioned solely as a capable housewife, adept at cooking sambar, now finds herself working in the tech industry in North America—a reality they, too, share today. The truth is, society often attempts to define and confine us based on external perceptions, but true empowerment lies in self-belief and pursuing one's own convictions. I'm filled with gratitude for the countless anonymous acts of kindness: the stranger who guided me when I was lost after a bus ride, the person who pointed me towards my destination. These stories underscore the inherent humanity and the presence of good-hearted individuals who offer assistance without judgment, helping us navigate towards our chosen paths.

"In the tapestry of life, every thread, planned or unplanned, contributes to the beauty of the whole. Gratitude weaves it all together."

My childhood dream was simple: a life on a farm, a small hut surrounded by nature, sustenance from the land, and cooking with the aid of a trusty geyser – a vivid dream that felt like a deep-seated yearning. Today, my reality far surpasses that initial vision, and I am overflowing with gratitude. I fondly remember my dear friend Carol (who passed away too soon) making me promise not to leave Canada for the USA. I kept that promise for a time, but years after her passing, meeting Vinod led me to the United States. And I can honestly say, people in the USA are kind too. Life is beautiful, and we must do what resonates with our own journey. Don't seek external validation; it's unnecessary. Carry your dreams and aspirations, not the burden of others' opinions. Extend love to everyone and give back where you can. Ultimately, we are all on a cyclical journey.

"Twenty-eight years later, I realize the most beautiful chapters are often the ones I never saw coming."

"The girl who stepped off that plane couldn't have imagined this life, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Gratitude fills my heart for a loving husband who is also my best friend and an incredible father. My children, in their constant state of growth, allow me to relive my own childhood – the highs of high school, the milestones of college, the excitement of that first job. Isn't there a unique joy in growing up again and again? Perhaps we never truly grow up, for it's in that perpetual state of learning and making mistakes that we gain wisdom. I realize now that I've spent more of my life outside my birth country than within it. This day always prompts reflection, a yearly striving to become a better version of myself – a journey that continues.

"Don't wait for permission to bloom; plant your own seeds and trust the unfolding." 

~ Dawn

Let Hindi spread its wings more. Happy Hindi Diwas.

 

Today in this part of the world it is September 14th and this day is celebrated in India as National Hindi Day or Hindi Diwas (day). The main reason to celebrate this day as Hindi Diwas is because the Constituent assembly of India adopted Hindi as the official language of the country on this day in 1949 under the Article 343. This started being observed after stalwarts like Beohar Rajendra Simha, Hazari Prasad Dwivedi, Kaka Kalelkar, Maithali Sharan Gupt and Seth Govind Das lobbied hard for the cause. These are great poets and writes who promoted the Hindi literature in the country, I remember studying some of their work in Middle and High- School.

It is said that Hindi language is spoken by as many as 250 million people as the original language and it is the fourth language of the world, after Mandarin, Spanish, and English.

I remember in School days this day is a celebration of the Hindi language and its cultural heritage and values among the people of the country and abroad as well as I reside here now and see those happening in here as well.

"You have got to know your language to understand your culture." ~ Beatrice Taylor

Various Hindi literary festivals, Hindi poetry sessions, Hindi essay writing competitions and speech contests are organized and I remember participating in those and getting the first prize in the competition.

I am born in a Keralite family where the language spoken is Malayalam and I was raised in a city called Pune, in Maharashtra State in India, where the language spoken is Marathi. Since Hindi is the official language of India we get to learn in School.

"Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world." ~ Rumi

I am don't know when and how I fell in love with this language that I used to read a lot of books and I used to write letters to the authors who were still alive. It was a fun exchange of letters as I would ask questions to these authors based on the book I read and I try to ask why the end is like that or why in the middle certain situation happened and you didn't gave a continuation to it etc. 

I started writing poetry in elementary school in Hindi and it continued, but when I started getting highest marks in Hindi language at High-School, that's when I got the confidence that one can score in language too. There was the myth where everyone used to tell one can't score much in language. 

I had some of the friends who would be jealous on this as my Hindi teacher always appreciated my approach towards the language and my references in the answers during examination time. 

"Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going." ~ Rita Mae Brown

My Hindi teacher would often use my example in other classes and friends from that class used to share these information.

The modern standard Hindi is an Indo-Aryan language spoken mainly in northern India and in southern side of India not everyone speaks this language, hence English as International language is used in India for official purpose.

It's interesting to read history and understand how languages formed and how we started communicating, writing, reciting and using it across the continent around the world.

"When you lose a language and a language goes extinct, it's like dropping a bomb on the Louvre." ~ Michael Krauss

Happy National Hindi Diwas to those who still can speak and write this language! 

~ Dawn

That train journey turned my taste ... ;)

My introduction to beef, was something when even I didn't know what it is. I remember once in a conversation when I said, I don't eat beef and my mom broke the suspense.

It seems I was 3 year old or so when my mom and my uncle who was in military were traveling from Pune to Tiruvalla in Jayanti Janata Express. This train and the journey I think I always remember because it was right from my baby time till my high school days journey to meet grandma was always fun.

But this trip I don't even know unless my mom described it to me. My mom and her brother were going to meet their dad - my grandpa who was unwell and serious. There was a passenger on the next berth a catholic christian lady who was carrying her dinner with her. As a natural human behavior in India - we share whether we know the person or not - its a mannerism to ask at least the neighbor before eating yourself. Yes, that was the India I grew up. The lady offered the dinner to my mom - don't you want to know what was the dinner? 

It was beef fry and parotta (kerala parotta) - my mom a pure vegetarian who doesn't even eat egg for that reason refused and said I don't eat and she made faces to my uncle. Yes, my mom always shows a vomiting face or as if she will vomit when we talk about beef :-) ...!

The lady offered to my uncle as military men are considered tough and eat anything and everything .. thats an assumption. After couple of refuses still the lady requested saying, you should not have any problem have it, I just made before leaving home.

My uncle couldn't refuse it and hence he took it and one by one he fed me the beef pieces. I don't remember any of this. But even before I could know anything I ate beef.

I am sure after that no one tried to feed me beef. But being in NDA, Pune luckily our neighbors used to be from Kerala and they used to be Christians. Now one think is a must to know that Kerala Beef Curry or Fry is very famous and ONLY Kerala Christians can make it so good and tasty. 

Our neighbors used to know that we don't cook beef. Though mom is vegetarian she always cooked chicken, mutton and fish for dad. Thankfully, I grew up with parents who are totally opposite in many things and hence I feel proud that I got the best of both the world. 

Dad never wanted his kids to be vegetarian like mom, because his teaching to us is no matter where you go in the world, you should not be tied up to a ritual or policy specially in the matter of food. I still remember dad feeding me fish, chicken and mutton explaining the importance of it and removing those thorns and bones away so I can enjoy the meat.

Our neighbors whenever they cooked beef, they would share it with us. I remember those Sundays very well where mom will say with a weird and ugly face, "for you guys there is beef so I am not cooking anything as I have my bitter gourd which I will eat with chappati". 

I still love remembering those conversations. The thrill it used to bring to us and I used to tell my mom, that she is losing lot of good things in life. My mom was raised that way and hence I can understand. But since my neighbors shared their cooking, I never cooked beef until I married a guy who cooks equally good beef.

Nature has its ways to provide nutrients to us whether its through plants or animals - some things should be left alone to nature.

As I resume this post, dinner is ready on the table and today it is beef fry and chappati ...the name itself making me hungry...will be back later until then let me enjoy my dinner!!!

~ Dawn

A country that was secular in thoughts once.....!!!

Sitting here in my house in Niles, looking at the mountains remembering my hometown NDA, Pune. A place where I was only taught about people, unity and love among all. There was no caste, religion or language that separated anyone. 
Parents always supported the ruling government which was then Congress. Being a child who always liked to ask questions, I often used to ask them why Congress? And the usual answer we used to get is about Mahatma Gandhi, Nehru who made all the sacrifices during Independence time frame of India. I somehow never believed all what Mahatma Gandhi said because being a visual person I used to literally think if someone hits on my cheek, I will never show my next cheek rather I will give back. Yes, even today my answer would be that.
But I do believe what Mahatma Gandhi says about people who do crime we should not hate them instead we should hate the crime and not the person. There should be always a chance given to people and everyone has that right. 
When I got my official right to vote in India I remember I was the only one in my house who voted for BJP, not because of Hinduism, but I felt there is some potential in that government, in that people and more over I felt Congress has been sitting on the ruling seat for long and there is a possibility of getting rusted and hence a change is needed.
I was very happy that the government whom I voted won the election and one started seeing the change, a good one.

I still remember my time in Toronto when the nuclear test was done in Pokharan India. The flashing news was all over next day but what was interesting to me was that the world was watching India but India's cautious and well planned strategy helped in completing this test successfully. I was very proud for this skill and smartness that the country holds. 

I had to face many questions from my fellow colleagues and friends who were non-Indian and some who were Canadian but their parents were once Pakistani. I was amazed the way Farooq was aggressive with me and I could see how much hatred he had in his eyes for me. Because I was from India and he was not happy that India did nuclear test. I could see how he was brainwashed because this guy never ever visited Pakistan then why so much of anger? 

The day was then when I used to get on with everyone who ever said negative about India. Being an independent person, I wrote the letter to the news agency who published the article calling India as a backward country where even today bullock carts and fire lamps are used. I couldn't take that insult and wrote to the agency. I believe in expression of thoughts and beliefs and its everyone's right.

Today when I see that same India, feels so sad that people who are living there have to forcibly go through all these government laid out policies... not to do this not to that and seems the country got the freedom from Britishers but not from the indifferences of caste and religion. 

Someone who is considered to be of lower caste went inside the temple and he didn't see the next days dawn or the one who got killed by the mob only because there was a rumor that he had beef. What is digital India project? Bunch of idiots will get internet access and will be connected with the world? 

People ask me who is the best leader you think? And I want to tell them that there isn't one. Out of that if Narendra Modi has got an opportunity then he shouldn't misuse and take advantage of those people who are having their faith in him. I do not have any faith but if at all he has any capability then he must bring peace, solidarity and secularism first and then once the nation is united everyone will understand the language of progressiveness...!

Its a shame to even tell such things are happening in a country which was always known for its progressiveness and intelligence of the mass. 

I can only say India is no longer that country where I happily was born and raised and grew up with independent thoughts and united people of all kinds. 

A story to tell my kids which I cannot make them witness one. 

~ Dawn

There is more to life than simply increasing its speed

After 5 to 6 years of gap, I was visiting India. The eagerness is always there as what is changed and how well the country is progressing as we read about it all the time on the net.

All this makes real sense when you actually land in the country and observe things closely. As I was passing by from one city to the other, I felt if I had started blogging daily (provided that I had the net accessibility all the time), I had so many stories to tell but then in mind I had thought of one liners which I will make a list of to express what I observed and felt about the New India and its people.

As we all know that growth and its diverse impact goes parallel and hence there might be justifications for many things but then at what cost? I will make the list and would like to hear from others too as these could be one observation and comment but it could vary from people to people. Let’s dive in…

• The speed of progress is going so rapid that at the other end if anyone is dying there is no action to it.
• Replica of west is what east is changing towards – why?
• Malls are the theme of the country – but then why take away the India out of it?
• Constructions everywhere whether it’s the malls, metro rails or even houses – with poor housing facility, transportation to the common people and to add to it pollution of all kinds whether air, sound you name it.
• Progress of a country but people are suffering due to the environment – for whom are we creating?
• Looks like there is a race and we have to win no matter what – even if at the cost of the lives of people.

• There is no feeling for each other, neighbor or so – everyone is in the rat race and want to reach the sky – I don’t care even if I am crushing someone’s throat as long as I am moving on the right path.
• It seemed like there is a barometer of who is rich and how can one be richer – the show business is so much that it is already getting into the minds of next generation.
• Kids evaluate situations based on money in mind, as the schools also they go shows the class system as who can achieve to get admission and you cannot!
• Surprised to witness the thought process of two kids who are raised in two different countries – one talks of safety and one talks of affordability.
• Man has reached to the moon, plans to buy and sell property on the Moon yet we are stuck with our caste and religion and the differentiation with the mankind.
• Country is doing everything to make sure the standard of living be as same as of western countries – from one aspect it is good that brain drain will be stopped but the way it is being done needs some planning and preparations.
• Real talent and skills are dumped on the side track – no one cares for anyone’s talent as long as one is able to fulfill others requirements – what’s in it for me?
• The kind of feeling and sentiments people have developed outside of the country – is missing as if the heart is completely removed from the body.
• Metros are either busy building malls or fly-over and metro rails – in the name of these constructions politically all tops are enjoying the benefit already
• Poor is still poor and the rich is trying to be richer – where is my developed India?
• In all these, the true culture still exists in the hearts of people as I was witnessing the Ganpati visarjan (Lord Ganesha Idol immersion in the sea), the unity, the love and cultural aspect evolves the depth and closeness of it in people. I did experience the sentiments while the people are going with the procession – the sadness that after visiting us for 10 days Lord Ganesha is departing from us – is a sad part.
• The people in the forces are taken care that’s what I am proud of my country and the government.

In the end, all I have to say is I still long for my country and would like to settle somewhere, that’s not metro and where it’s not too backward under-developed place. I want to live in the heart of the country where all these malls have not taken over yet I have the internet connectivity to be able to be connected globally with my friends and relatives. I long for that place in India and would love to reach back to the roots where I come from. As all the rivers no matter where they flow at the end they all join together to make a big waterfall!
“Speed provides the one genuinely modern pleasure” ~ Aldous Huxley