Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable ~ Mary Oliver

 When we all welcomed the year 2020, we had no clue as what is the future of 2020 that is stored for all of us. Did we?

May be here and there the news of COVID-19 was there but no one took it seriously. I remember I was traveling back to USA after my vacation and as I was transiting via HongKong I started noticing people wearing mask and I kind of got curious and worried. 

By the time it was February end, rumors started in the office about working remotely for few days and for a person like me who is a people person, I thought it will be a short period of time and hence never bothered to collect anything much from my office desk.

"2020 is a unique Leap Year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March, and five years in April" ~ Unknown 😀

March we were told to work from home and then it became the new normal for all of us. Though, it took a while for everyone to get adjusted because I was taking my calls from my reclining chair though every morning I was getting up and dressing up as if I am going to office, except that I was sitting on the reclining chair and taking my calls. Few days was kind of fun as everyone is close by in the family. The much loved house bought in 2008, I was only now able to spend time fully to enjoy by spending time in the backyard, looking at the mountains from every room that I have in the house - it was a feeling that of a child getting holiday on a school day. 

Slowly the calendar started flipping, work started getting intense and deployment and releases started happening. A point came when there were happy hours on zoom I had to decline saying I need to step out of my zoom. Slowly I had to bring a working desk that can be raised up and down so I can stand and sit in between my work during the day.

Some workout planning inside the house and a daily walk in the neighborhood since the restrictions in my county got induced my walk near the creek got restricted too. 

"After all the stupid things I have done in my life, If I die because I touched my face, I am gonna be pissed." ~ Unknown 😱

Every possible adjustments were done to make sure during this pandemic time we stay healthy mentally, physically and emotionally as well - it was a very conscious decision that let us plan our day to day life. One thing is clear, if time comes there is nothing that we cannot adjust to. But I can only say that we are privileged and not everyone is. 

There might be people who must be living in an apartment where stay at home can make you go crazy and on top of that domestic violence or even the mental health issues all these could come as a drastic challenge and I often thought of those who I know are in that situation. I have tried to reach out and talk and similarly caring for your neighbors, while going to the grocery store making sure they have everything or if anything to be bought for them. This 2020 year was a testing period for everyone though it came as a surprise.

A time came when celebrations were with family but we exchanged sweets and cookeries with neighbors and loved ones that we could. A glimpse of happiness let us survive the year and 2021 came with a hope.

"2020 is the strictest parent I ever had" ~ Unknown

A hope there will be a vaccine came in as true and its so amazing to hear when the forefront workers are getting these vaccines, our senior citizens getting them too make it more to look forward.

My New Year came in with lot of changes, I got into a new role with a new team though same company but it is so exciting to look forward to a change. 

"Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now' ~ Hamilton 🙏

As a family I think we loved the time that we spend with each other. The lessons learned during this time is for a life time and believe me we all who have survived this 'new normal' will still be there. 

The new year eve was something that I was not very excited and what to do just stay at home but as the night started unfolding I called my parents wished them and it was more to look forward. A hope that I will get to travel to see them this year. That one hope gives you immense energy and enthusiasm to look forward month after month and with the new role and working with some energetic techies in the team life is adding more colors to it.

It is the new normal way of living even though we have the vaccine available which will slowly reach to everyone yet, this is the new normal and we will have to get used to our mask and sanitizers. But I am sure it will be good if we can travel with all these.

A hope is something we must carry with us along with our masks and sanitizers.

"We either make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. The amount of work is same." ~ Carlos Castaneda 

Happy 2021 to all my readers!!!!

~ Dawn

Be willing to change because life won’t stay the same.. Happy New Year 2021

 

As the new year is unfolding, a retrospective of this year definitely makes sense to me. 

At work many times, Engineering is heading to deliver and hence to pause after each sprint to have a retrospective is often ignored or passed on for next time. And often we forget the value that it adds to each one in the team.

"It is fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure" ~ Bill Gates

I believe its always good to have a retrospective which can always enlighten us because we often don't think much when we are doing something and it often shows how dynamically we work under high-pressure. Similarly year 2020 was a roller coaster ride for everyone around the world.

I am sure like every year, this year also analysts will have their retrospective but how are we individuals looking at it?

One thing I was happy that this year beginning I was with my loved ones and my parents hence could spend some quality time with everyone. It was the beginning of corona year, by the time I reached home in California.

The way we say it was in the air and so was in the news but were we scared or prepared? No!

By the time I came from India and rejoined with my team at work, stay at home was induced and we all were planning to work from home.

I was prepared but I always thought it would be a short period of time and then we all will be back to normal. This is how it is taught in the Defense, one may be on vacation but be ready to go to the war whenever there's a call from your unit and that can be anytime.

"Every success story is a tale of constant adaption, revision and change." ~ Richard Branson

And I was so confident about this going back to normal, that everyday I woke up and dressed up as if I am going to work and got into my usual calls and meetings. 

I was never worried about a bad hair or bad dressing day as I was always ready for anytime video calls because I am at work and so I should be ready - isn't it?

The weeks turned into months and I figured that my movements are getting restricted because of my work, and my schedules. Well, a routine is a must and hence my daily walks kicked-in, and after my meeting whenever I got a chance I came to my backyard spent time looking at the mountains, the orange tree, the guava tree, the oak and the chirping birds would grab my attention as they would jump on the roof to grab the worms.

During this time, lot of things happened while many were dying due to corona virus. I developed new hobbies such as bird watching and learning about them and taking care of them in my backyard. 

Everyday after my breakfast I change their water and make sure the feeder is filled with seeds and they all recognize me today when I do that. Its a friendly relation with nature which I always built no matter which part of the world I lived in.

"The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation." ~ Vernon Howard

Healthy eating and exercising is my way of living and hence that continued but one blessing in disguise that happened was I got to stay at home and enjoy my home which never happened before. Because I am always at work and weekends mostly we would travel out locally or long trips during long weekends. 

This pandemic gave me the opportunity to look and feel each corner of my house and mainly not inside but outside of my home. Nature has so much to offer I was able to share it with my family too.

The Birthdays, Festivals, Thanksgiving, Team celebrations and lunches, Christmas celebrations you name it, everything was celebrated well with food, drinks and dessert and most of them were cooked at home with family being together in the kitchen. How fun is that!!! 

Life is what we can give and life in return rejoices us. 

Giving and taking care is what I have learned always and this year was nothing new, rather it enforced everyone to think through and follow the norms.

This year many life perished due to pandemic and or due to many other reasons. Some close ones and known ones have died and it has only made me worry more for my loved ones that are alive.

There is only one life and if we live selflessly and care and share what we have with others it will only multiply the happiness and friends.

I wish we all don't miss any learnings from this year 2020 and carry those into 2021 with more gratitude, empathy and consistent in keeping everyone safe and healthy by wearing mask and social distancing!!!

"A man should be never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying ... that he is wiser today than he was yesterday." ~ Alexander Pope

Happy New Year 2021!!! 

Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings ! 

~ Dawn

Society or culture or whatever you might want to call it, has created us all solely and wholly for the purpose of maintaining its continuity and status quo...!

 

Recently I had the opportunity to watch this movie on Netflix -What will people say! This is a 2017 internationally co-produced, directed and written by Iram Haq. This film's scene set in Pakistan were, all shot in Rajasthan, India.

To my surprise this film had its world premier at 42nd Toronto International Film Festival. This was selected as the Norwegian entry for the best foreign language film at the 91st Academy Awards - but it was not nominated.

My main reason to watch this film was Adil Hussain - an amazing actor and human being. 

As the story started unfolding, it started reminding me of some of the stories that I have seen in Canada. It's not only for India or Pakistan but you can see similar stories from families migrating from Iran, or any other country where the culture is different and women are not given much freedom in the name of family dignity, society pressure and what not. 

"Expectations were like a pottery. The harder you held them, the more likely they were to crack" ~ Brandon Sanderson

This movie is a must watch for everyone of all gender and race. This talks about equality and equal opportunity for everyone. 

The movie brings an amazing emotions of relationship between the family and siblings. The father, who loves his daughter and understands what is best for her yet, gets drowned in the societal and community cadence where he fears for his family's respect, his business overall trying to look good in front of his people and yet want the best for his daughter.

At the end the daughter makes the choice for herself and Father kind of supports that by not coming in her way!

A very important movie and message for the time where we still differentiate between the genders and defines the boundaries for a girl child and it's not limited to the child but until she dies she is supposed to be living by the rules and live in a box that someone else created for her or her gender.

"A gender-equal society would be one where the word 'gender' does not exists: where everyone can be themselves" ~ Gloria Steinem 

If you're a free thinker and watch this movie it will suffocate you when you see how the girl is taken back to Pakistan and left her there to live with her relatives. It's something that one cannot foresee ourselves to be in that situation imagine the ones who go through how tough it could be?

This movie at least should help open everyone's mind and heart.

"Culture is not made up but something that evolves which is human" ~ Edward T. Hall

~ Dawn

The Legend will be living forever in our hearts

Today is a very sad day indeed! The first news that I read was about Diego Maradona died at the age of 60. One of the two joint winners of the FIFA player of the 20th century awardee, who played 585 matches, 9 club trophies and 311 goals scored, has become a star in the sky forever.

"To see the ball, to run after it, makes me the happiest man in the world" ~ Diego Maradona

I am a die-hard fan of him since childhood. Being a hockey player I always admired his dribbling and ball control skills which I often tried with my hockey sticks as well.

Coming from a country then in India Football was popular too as Cricket is. It used to be like a season one after the other sports and watching international matches on Television was so much fun.

Television was not something everyone could afford or have and hence it used to be a match that we friends and family watch on Television just like one is watching from the stadium and the cheering and supporting teams excitement and thrill always added a galore to the whole event.

"When people succeed, it is because of hard work. Luck has nothing to do with success" ~ Diego Maradona 

Small wins and those thrill dances when Maradona used to kick into the court for goal - I can only imagine those memories in mind. Some beautiful memories that Maradona has given to generations and to the football lovers. 

I was so much connected to him which I never realized until now when the news is still sinking that he is no more !!!!

Even now when FIFA world cup matches were happening I used to look for a glimpse of him in the audience and often felt bad to see his health conditions.

I was hoping everything will be alright after his discharge but I guess 2020 had to play its own game and like he said once, 'Certainly, one day we'll kick a ball together in the sky above!!'

Diego, we will miss you in person on the grounds and in stadium but you will always be in our heart living as a legend.

As Thanksgiving holidays start at this side of the world, I would like to Thank You Diego for giving us wonderful memories to cherish life long. Whenever and wherever the name of football will come, your name will shine first Maradona!

"My mother things I am the best. And I was raised to always believe what my mother tells me." ~ Diego Maradona

~ Dawn

“Some things can only be perceived one way because they only have one meaning..”

 It's been a while since we all are stuck at home. Even though it's not a complete lockdown in California, there's not much motivation to go out all the time either.

Besides work and daily walks, one thing that kept me busy was watching web series on OTT platform. It's a continuous hunt as what else is there to watch. And when I finished almost all sources, one evening I happened to click The Crown series and I got hooked on to it.

The reason I got hooked on to it was the English language which I missed after moving to America and then I felt lot of historical events that I read in my history classes had some background story which I could relate through these series.

"Who wants transparency when you can have magic? Who wants prose when you can have poetry?"

As one watches these series episode by episode, there is lot of insight behind the royal monarchy and some of their traditions and some of their beliefs which they probably wanted the world to know and some not too. It's a series one can take it with a pinch of salt, if I may say!

I am going to share my feel about the series and these are only my thoughts and nothing else.

While starting the first season, I felt sorry for the Queen Elizabeth II for getting into this high demanding job profile at that tender age. Because I related at that age what a kid would like to do, their aspirations and dreams and when Parents even directed them to follow certain aspect of their wishes, many have rebelled and many who have followed have later got out of that cage. She had no escape and specially when she gets bullied by her own family members for not knowing much of the world affairs and general knowledge. It made me feel awkward that she was only 4th grade and then she learned through a tutor but imagine she never studied Math or Science whereas I grew up where nothing is possible without Math and Science. 

"To do nothing is often the best course of action, but I know from personal experience how frustrating it can be. History was not made by those who did nothing."

I also felt for her when Winston Churchill the then Prime Minister, how he looked at her for her age and her inexperiences but she didn't get discouraged instead learned from the wise.

The Queen was not expressive of her emotions when it was towards her children, something I didn't understand and if you look at it the problem that Prince Charles was having for not getting that motherly care and love like any other normal kid could have. If Queen was like Diana not hesitating to show her affection to her kids things would have been different.

At times, I felt the Queen was deliberately not showing any affection as if her emotions will show her as a weak person. I am sure that's the old school thinking because vulnerability is a leadership skill, not a weakness but now its too late.

Her Sister Princess Margaret seemed like a spoilt brat and I felt the Mother Queen was also sad that she didn't get to rule too long as all rights and privileges went to the Queen Elizabeth II her older daughter but I guess power and position can make any relation fragile and weak if the seekers are out only for that.

"In a rush to heal wounds you end up committing yourself to something, someone that isn't quite right."

The husband Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh born in royal family but sad story at the family front and yet got everything by being the husband of the Queen. At times you will feel sorry for him and at times you will feel things happen for a reason.

I mean the time when the astronauts were visiting the Palace, he specially asking for 15 minutes with them in person and not meeting them in a group tells a lot where he wanted to prove that he is someone above all these Royal family and he is superior as he is a pilot and has interest in space related activities. But as soon Neil Armstrong says, ask the questions that he wanted to ask, Prince Philip was not able to do so. There was a dilemma in accepting that common people are the ones who landed on the Moon and they are no royal or have any such show-off as supposed to what was in Prince Philip's mind and then we see he going to his faith and feels happy with the priest who later became his friend. That made me think of himself like a lost guy.

Any how I didn't think very high of him the way he treated his son Prince Charles and also by sending him to the school where he went and the bullies that a child had to go through, which Prince Charles later said was like a hell on earth.

"We're all dying. That's what defines the condition of living."

Till now, I am sympathizing with Prince Charles but not after he is grown up because I felt he is always doing his victim cry and demands attention and the one gave he fall for them.

It was good to hear another familiar character Louis Mountbatten - the once Governor General of India and it was funny he giving Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru's reference on and off. 

I felt he was a father figure to Prince Philip and to Prince Charles but sad ending.

Sometimes these series actually take the curtain off of people's face as what they are and what they claim to be. I just googled about him and read a whole lot about him and little boys.

Coming to Prince Charles, I felt he always have his victim cry and probably that's the reason he always demanded to be cared and loved like a baby!

The whole rule book seemed like is for the Queen because besides her everyone was into infidelity, extra-marital affairs, divorce etc.

"Where there is heroism there will always be hope."

But the whole drama of Prince Charles and Princess Diana... I don't know what to say because I think I was there when it started and when it ended too. I mean I was in school that time and saw their fairytale wedding on tv and now when everything unfolded in these series it all looks like a mockery.

The family know their son is in love with another woman still they don't let them to marry and then that woman marries another lover of hers and still continues the affair. And while the affair is on the Prince decides to marry so that he can give a Princess to the royal family. It was like an open book for everyone inside the family except the world felt that it's a fairytale.

"In the first flush of romantic love, we're all blind. We see only what we want to see."

As a young teenage girl Diana, getting all excited to be part of the royal family may be she didn't know what she is getting into and probably by the time she realized what was going on and even after her trying to keep the family and marriage intact, when things really didn't work out she probably went like any other person looking for her escape from all these issues.

"That's the thing about unhappiness. All it takes is for something worse to come along and you realize it was actually happiness after all."

But it was funny to see how every time Prince Charles wanted to marry his love Camila who was already married and when he asks her to leave her husband and marry him, she gives the reason that it is not good for anyone to break the marriage but she has feelings for him. That moment I wondered didn't Charles even had a slightest thought that she is a player too?

At this point I was lost as what is she interested in? I always got the feel from the series that she only petted Charles and probably he also wanted that.  

One more thing was clear from what the Queen said, you have to make your adjustments, meaning she was fine with Prince Philip going to other women as long as that's done in hidden way and not impacting their marriage - seemed very mechanical and superficial relationship. She had to have a deal each time to keep him in the marriage. 

There was no rights for women even though the Queen herself is a woman. Men can go to other women but women cannot.

It only makes one think of, what if everyone had given their way of choosing life - how would things look today?

Probably the Queen Elizabeth wouldn't be the queen today.

"Some things can only be perceived one way because they only have one meaning."

I have to admit and appreciate the craft, crew, casting, script and performance by each one in this series is amazing. I very much loved everyone for being in their character fully. 

I had only one thing to say that I didn't like that the Queen Claire Foy was replaced by Olivia Colman and Prince Philip Matt Smith was replaced by Tobias Menzies, and so on so forth. It was hard to reconnect with the characters and get to the flow that one starts in the beginning of this series. I wish it was one artist playing their role through out...it connects one with the artists as well and the characters.

"Who we are is not what we wear or what glitters. It's the spirit that defines us."

~ Dawn

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions :)

 

Today a day before my birthday, I look back to the time when my Mom was expecting me. All I could think about looking back is the story that she has told me.

It must be waiting period for her but I know she was not feeling well with Pneumonia and her doctors were mainly and only thinking about saving her life. Why I say this is because she lost her friend who was also suffering from Pneumonia and was admitted in the next room in the same hospital.

As they say, life and death are part of the same play. One has to leave so that next cast can enter the show. 

"All things that have form eventually decay" - Orochimaru ~ Masashi Kishimoto

My Mom lost her best friend and she got cured and discharged from the hospital. 

I was born on Nov 7th between 10:30 am and 11:05 am, while she was visiting her hometown in Kerala, India to see her Dad who was not well at that time.

I was told my both parents were eagerly waiting for a baby girl as their first born is a boy, they didn’t want another boy ..lol!

My Dad had my name chosen already that is even before I was born he suggested Usha (Dawn in English).

"Childhood is the most beautiful of all life's season" ~ Jerry Smith

That time and now, how quickly these years went by. As a person I would not change anything from then to now as everything that has happened in my life whether its my parents, my friends, life’s experience and people that I met on my way - all have helped me to be a better person. 

Life has been kind to me and so are the people that came across in my life. It is a humbling experience and it cannot get better than this.

"One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is, I think, to have a happy childhood. ~ Agatha Christie 

But if I can talk about age, I truly don’t feel that I have grown old and I say that because, it reminds me of my childhood days.

As a child you’re nourished well for your physical and mental development and when you grow as a girl there’s more attention given as a small girl grows into a teenager and physically women and her body goes through so many changes that even now I feel I am going through those same changes.

"The true secret of happiness lies in the taking a genuine interest in the details of daily life" ~ William Morris 

As a woman you go through your menstrual cycle and the changes that comes with it in your body, your hormonal changes, your body to adapt and figure out these changes all those then and now are the same.

You eat well so that your hormonal fluctuations are minimal and you exercise more as mobility helps and keeps you healthy physically and mentally. Being an athlete it never bothered and now when I am busy with work, I do the same eat well so that the nourishment that the body should get is well accomplished and remain active with whatever time I can get and be healthy and sufficient.

"Our life is a series of moments. Let them all go. Moments. All gathering towards this one. ~ Now Is Good

So in all this what has changed? I feel today that I am that girl who was going through the changes of puberty and so the same I am going through even now.

I feel women never get old. They just keep gaining experiences to tackle with everything that comes on their way and this experience is very much humbling for me. 

"Yet, he thought, if I can die saying, 'Life is so beautiful', then nothing else is important. If I can believe in myself that much, nothing else matters. ~ Mario Puzo  

Life is beautiful and there’s so much around that nature has given us to enjoy and be thankful to be that one doesn’t need any materialistic things to celebrate.

I am thankful for this life and the people who have touched my life in one or the other ways.

Being able to see myself in great health and joy is my greatest accomplishment in life. 

Its been 15 years in United States and, after Obama this birthday brings Biden-Harris win as a gift. More reasons to look forward to humanity and love ;-) 

~ Dawn

Birth place: Earth, Race: Human, Politics: Freedom, Religion: Love

The recent selection of US Senator from California - Kamala Devi Harris for Democratic Vice Presidential nominee for 2020 election, and the Desi,s going gaga about it by calling her to be their native Indian, from their heritage, their village, town, state, and what not!!!!

"Shallow understanding from people of goodwill is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

This makes me feel so ashamed of as how quickly we change our stand. Racism is head on in people's mind and behavior when it comes to black lives matter and now the same Kamala Devi Harris who is a mix of Indian American and American African - they give more preference to the Indian heritage of her and celebrate it.

I was happy to see a woman was selected as Democratic Vice Presidential nominee for 2020 election but then again it could be another political attempt to gain votes. But still she is the first African-Asian American, and the third female after Geraldine Ferraro and Sarah Palin to be picked as the vice-presidential nominee for a major party.

"You cannot claim you treat everyone equally, if you are duding others by their ethnicity" ~ Charles E Hudson

However, if they get elected in the coming election in Nov 2020 then it will be a relief from the current administration.

We all wish to be at that stage where even though we come from different country, race, religion we should be able to identify ourselves first as human. 

I wish good luck to Joe Biden and Kamala Devi Harris and wish they will spread the message of humanity overall.

"I believe there's only race and that is human race"

~ Dawn