A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin..!

We all take our parents for granted, mostly our mom!
I remember I used to try my best to impress my mom. I used to do things that I was sure will bring smile on her face. Those days there was no Mother's day in India and impressing mom or to do something for mom or dad was not restricted to any day or time of the year.

I remember I used to clean and keep the house tidy because my mom loved that. Another thing I used to do was to cook some snacks by the time she comes home from her work, I used to look at the recipe in the Women's Era magazine and for the evening snack time when my parents come home from work I used to serve tea and snacks.

The happiness on my mom-dad's face was priceless, even today I remember that moment when mom used to say good girl, did you made all that? And, I can't even express my happiness at that moment because to make mom give that kind of a compliment was very tough.

My mom always supported what I did but it was always to push towards next level and hence for many things she would not praise or say good job, instead she would say yes next time do it better. 

It's true when our parents say that, "you will realize what it means to be a parent when you will become one". Many times we take it for granted and when our time comes we realize their hardship and love that nurtured us to stand strong and move ahead in life.

Today, whatever I am I give that credit to my mom and Dad. But without mom's teaching, I would have never understood what it means to be financially independent, what it means to do things that you like, what it means to be open and what does it mean when we say narrow mindedness. There's lot my mom has taught which has become an habit without even realizing that it was part of me that was growing within me, whether it's about hygiene, taking care of others, being a girl what to do and at the same time she let me do what I like to do. That slight freedom made me feel like heaven. And that was part of her way of teaching me about life.

I remember when I was a hockey player in school, my mom used to encourage me and she would shop for my sports outfit. I used to wear shorts and I remember it was after my High School time when my brother was advising me that I should cover my legs because I am a big girl now and same day my mom buying shorts for me..it was hilarious!
That gesture of my mom at one point makes me realize she is very open and liberal but at the same time when my mom panics about society, I used to get very upset. Because my mom was financially independent working woman with a husband who is liberal and open minded. He never sacrificed his family's happiness for society sake. 
I get this from my dad, but there was only one thing which I always was worried for mom was about her concern about what society will say?

Now, when I look back and walk-thru those moments I feel she was trying to teach me both sides of a coin. One you do what you like but then you have to take full responsibility for it and do not expect that anyone will come for your support or help. Otherwise, be at the mercy of society and follow the rules which may not bring happiness to you.

Another incident I remember, when I was in college and mom had brought a new dress for me which had mirrors as art work on it. When I wore that to college my mom was more excited than me and I didn't get it as why? But that evening when I returned from college she asked me how was it, what did everyone say about your dress and as I tried to describe how some boys were trying to look into the mirror to comb their hair and she laughed out like a child. Those moment make me feel she probably saw those happiness and moments through me as her time it was very strict. It also taught me that there is nothing wrong in being friends with boys and girls and fun is always taken as fun nothing more.

There's lot mom has taught me and there are moments in my life where I often think of those times and realize how my mom's way of teaching me and preparing me for the world and future was different than anyone else.

I am so lucky to have a mother who taught me life's lessons in her own way where sometimes she was also learning along with me and sometimes she allowed me to do things so I learn from there.

I am taking bits and pieces from what you taught me mom and some I am picking my own experiences from this part of the world and trying to teach my daughter the same. But I have to express this that no matter what discrimination was there in the world, you as a parent never let that happen to me. My questions might be weird but you always gave a thought to it and let me do what I like to do because you also felt there should not be a reason for discrimination being a girl. 

I love you mom! And, I know you know that because no matter what we discuss there is this confidence that you show in me, the trust that you have in me tells that you feel content about me.

Happy Mother's Day Mom, without you I don't exist! 

~ Dawn

BALANCE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU FIND, IT'S SOMETHING YOU CREATE..!

There was a time when we had a bifurcation between professional and personal life. Then eventually the fast pace caught up in such a way that the bifurcation line started fading away and probably the 'work-life' balance kicked in.

It's interesting how life long humans get groomed for a job - when you are a kid, you have to go to school to study well to score good in subjects that will help you to get admission in good colleges and from there to professional ones so that you get a good job which is well paying huh!
When you do get into the job, for the growth in the company one goes through so many training. This could be training in communication skills, behavioural and managerial skills, crucial conversation and if you're a manager then to enhance your people's manager skills one will go through unconscious bias training etc. 
All this effort is to have a good communication skills based on your audience, build relationship with your colleagues or manager by having those crucial conversations where you speak your mind and heart so that the other person reacts to it with more understanding and the best is that you make sure unconsciously you are not bias with your team or anyone at work. 

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" :)

If we say work-life balance is important, family and love is important in life, spending time with loved ones is what life's all about then why not we go through trainings to improve this phase of life?
I mean these days there are so many trainings involved at work that one can easily apply these skills and methodologies to their personal life too. 
Communication skill, now tell me how many of you have issues where your spouse might be talking in a tone that upsets you or gives an indication that they are irritated or unhappy. How do you convey this to them in a simpler manner so that they don't get offended but get the message across so that they can change their tone or way of communication?
Same way, how do one explain that what they think best as their behaviour, expression of love, that is not actually perceived the same way by the other spouse? Because at work we do hear that everyone has a perception about themselves as what people might think about them, and then people have a different perception about you which could be totally different than what you think you are. 

"Truth is universal. Perception of truth is not. The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend. If the doors of the perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite".

It's always good to have that open and transparent communication between relationships as well. People have issues and that's just not surprising because everyone is different and no one has to be like someone else just because they have no other option. In fact for healthy relationship whether it's at work or personal life all relationships have to be maintained in one or the other way and if that is with respect and equality then it brings all kinds of fairness in it.

People have ego going to marriage counsellors because the reality may come out when two spouse will discuss about each other's behaviour. If you are so self-centered then might as well take these professional courses which will help you to shape in a good human being. Because people are different when they are at work and they can be a total different individual when they are at home. There's always a dual-personality within that you carry and it is well controlled and selective behaviour which individuals elect to play.
A perfect example is of the former Apple engineer Neha Rastogi - hasn't she brought up the abusive nature of her spouse openly no one would have known the other side of Silicon Valley CEO Abhishek Gattani. There are so many who suffer quietly sometimes for the sake of kids, sometimes for the society and sometimes the emotional attachments. Is it worth? 
We always hear at work if you are not getting what you are looking for in your career, and you are not happy then pave your path to success by choosing what you want then why can't the same be applicable in personal life of individuals?

"Fairness is protecting not only you but all who are involved"

~ Dawn

However long the night, the dawn will break ... ;-)

These days there are so many waves in my heart that I resist to express any. Why? When I was born to express and move on! It's true we change, sometimes the time brings that change in us or sometimes people and incidents. But if we change, then we are not who we are...we are someone else!

It's been a while and I see how my writing has reduced not because I don't have anything to write. But because, I resist. I am often scared of myself and not others and hence I resist because I don't know what I will write which may be truth and yet hurt someone.

"Truth never damages a cause that is just" ~ M.K. Gandhi

Friends who know me call me sometimes free-spirited or flower child. And even if time may change me as a person the free spirit is the foundation that came by birth and hence let's live and let others live is something that is fabricated in me.

" I have danced too deeply in my shadows, to ever fear the walk of my sunshine" ~ Nikki Rowe

Life has always been good to me and I am very thankful for that because I have seen both side of life - the good and the bad and I do feel that there's nothing called as bad because it taught me about life. An experience that you don't gain by reading books or watching movies or even listening to stories, one has to live it, feel it and experience it. After that what decision you take that's the turning point.

I believe there's nothing good or bad decisions or things as right or wrong. It's your own belief that you create and rely on which may support you to survive in your own way without a guilt. After all Newton's 3rd law comes in place even if you don't believe in science you will believe in myths or philosophies where you will agree that things happen for a reason!

"There's nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." ~ Shakespeare 

I believe in this life whomever I have met and crossed my path with, it was necessary and part of this journey where I had to learn something or the other from them. We all learn from each other and that's the reason we are always inquisitive and excited because we are in a journey like a tourist in this world.

As we all know nature's way in fall where it's either the late stage of maturity or early stage of decline but the sooner we understand and adapt the better transition we can expect and to pass that phase it becomes easier than difficult.  But everything is not so planned and channelised as well because we are human and we think from heart and our mind comes in the way.

People say living on their own terms. I believe its living by listening to your own heart and things happen for a reason and I also believe that the soul that you come with in this body is not created by any society or cult. So why one should live by the society and their frippery rules? Why even you try to be someone that fits in that cult, when you're of your own kind?

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring" ;-)

One life dropped in here then just live and enjoy the ride because when your station comes you will be dropped and won't be allowed to be here - so make it to the fullest!

~ Dawn

The Revolution introduced me to art, and in turn, art introduced me to the Revolution!

Today I went for March for Science in Silicon Valley San Jose- a peaceful protest against the current administration in USA.
The moment I joined the march, I became very emotional and tears filled up in my eyes.. I questioned myself, why? am I so weak? There was an inside voice which was showing gratitude and was thanking to be able to participate in the protest and be part of this democracy movement.

"The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." ~ Isaac Asimov

Yes, I want to ask how many people have the freedom in their country to resist?, to give a message across? to even protest and convey their opinion? This was a march that was happening where people of all nature, caste, creed, religion, race, gender you name it and the cops were supporting too as they were doing their duty of maintaining the law and order during this march for science event at downtown San Jose.

I grew up asking lot of questions and the answers which didn't have any logic, I found my own answers for those with logic. People said, I am a rebel, they said am the black sheep but today I feel good that I didn't live based on some assumptions that someone else had thought of.

While growing up, I thought teaching is a tough job - indeed it is as one needs lot of patience and one needs to be on top of everything when it comes to knowledge. Besides, this I alway felt a teacher is always learning and that would be tough! 
Today, I realize that we learn every day and every minute  - it never stops! Hence, I believe that as we learn let's educate and share with others because many times people's ignorance is what make them believe in something called Trump.

"Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." ~ Marie Curie
Let's not think too much instead, let's teach and share with people around us that science is the truth and without logic there is no truth and there is no true solution to anything. Years of practice and researches has got us so far and the climate change and other catastrophes are also part of researches and science which is telling us resist and save this planet from those who doesn't understand the value of the comfort and peace that they are enjoying.

Love Science, Love Human Beings, Love Nature, Love One Another

~ Dawn 

Happy 8teen !!!

Today Rhea is 18 years old, for some reason I never noticed how fast time is running. And why should we?

This day, I want to remember my 18th birthday. I was in college and my celebration was with my college mates. I took my friends for a lunch and a movie. Those days birthday person has to treat others, my brother used to get upset on such celebration because he used to feel that my friends should treat me and not I throw a party for all. In all this I used to invite my brother too ;).
18 is a big number or I became an adult - no idea! But one thing I knew and was sure of is that I can vote and that was a proud feel for me.

" Now that you're 18, you're responsible for covering for your own mistakes. Unfortunately, those don't stop at any age"

Today everyone says Rhea is 18- she is an adult and is independent. She can go out and live of her own and no one can say anything. I feel at 18 what do we know? Nothing! We only have seen life through the window that our parents kept it open for us. In my case, Rhea has seen more than what I had seen in my life, probably that's my learning what to do and what not to do while I raise my kids :).

I believe in life,  awareness of reality is important. Life is not complicated yet we can make it one and at times life is not that simple also as we might think. I remember my dad used to tell me "if you study well then it's good for you probably you will fetch something that will make you financially independent and if you don't study still it's for you because parents are not going to be there with you all the time." Scary isn't it? Yes, at the age of 10 when my dad said that it was scary for me because I never want to lose my parents, never! 

But then I am not thinking that I cannot be a burden on them even though they are my parents. So, study well and be financially independent because when you are financially independent you can think properly and make wise decisions for yourself. Many times we are stuck in life because we are dependent on others and then we are under lot of obligations. Sometimes in such situations we live someone else's life.

One advise to my kiddo is that study well, do what you want to be and follow your heart. I am sure as long as you're not hurting anyone, not disrespecting and not letting any ego get inside you - you will be a happy soul. Live life, help others but make sure in helping you don't get hurt yourself.

Life is like a two sides of a coin. You will have both good and bad, happiness and sadness walking side by side - it's up to you how to balance both. People are good, yet sometimes people also go through different situations and in that they may hurt you, they may become mean to you but don't let all that make you weak. Gain your strength from those people and rise and shine, always!

Be strong and try to defeat all your fears only then you will rise with shine :)

Remember, I am always there until I am around here ... A Very Happy Birthday to a Big Girl 

"You're an adult now, but don't let it go to your head. Seriously, the younger you think the younger you'll stay" ;)

~ Dawn

Let your memory be your travel bag...!

For the first time in my life I became a chaperone for my son's school field trip. I have two kids and believe me work has always kept me busy and I used to feel guilty if I ask for a day off to go for a field trip.
This year I have decided to give time to my kids and making sure that I be part of their activities, thanks to work-life balance concept :)
My son was so excited that he had been looking forward for this day since his birthday which was last month.
The fact is that I took a day off from work for this but I was mentally still preparing myself because I have never done this and I was kind of nervous what to expect?
I am sure many would say there is nothing much to do as you will be looking after your kid so two more gets added to you. However, that's easier said than done.

In my eyes all kids are good and well-behaving but I am not sure what I will have to do and not to do because there are rules everywhere.
Hence, my trip was more or less like a student in the bus. We woke up early got ready with our lunchables and reached school on time. I signed up and took the charge as a Chaperone!
Our group's name was Purple and we were three parents in this group with 5 kids and each chaperone was one of the kid's parent so we had really two kids whom we had to keep an eye to make sure we are as a team visiting each place and not getting misplaced.
It was easy to mingle with the kids because I knew each one of them as they have been part of my son's birthday celebration. All kids are well-mannered and well-behaving and I give the credit to the class teacher Mrs Brown.

"The soul is healed by being with children" ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Every kid and every parent is happy with this class teacher and believe me when your class teacher is good and caring then every child is a happy and following rules is just a piece of cake.
This trip was to Sacramento, which is the capital of California. We have friends here hence this was not a new place for me. However, we have never been to these places where I visited today and in fact, I fell in love with Sacramento in this trip.

This was not because of the beautiful place but the history that it carries and made me feel proud to live in this part of the California State.
We visited the Railroad museum, which had long history of coal engine train to today's fastest train and why not? Because during gold rush times Sacramento was the major distribution point, a commercial and agricultural center and a terminus for wagon trains. One can see all the experienced senior members who were giving briefing to the kids about the history and the functions of coal engine trains.

We also visited the John Sutter's fort. The first swiss immigrant who came and built his fort as a pioneer and then to the gold fever. After that we all were eager to visit the Capitol building. The tour guide Richard was very nice and patient to explain us the entire story from 1800s and the true democracy that we exhibit here in the Capitol building when the parliament sessions are taking place and anyone can enter during that session and give their vote based on their opinion on it whether they belong to this country or not. That's called true democracy - for the people and by the people. I felt proud to be a Californian specially after the elections.

It was a good insight for me along with building a soft corner for Sacramento as a place to live and work. It also gave opportunity for me to be with kids and be myself and meet with few parents.

A day that was full of activity, fun and tiresome... happy to go to bed after a warm shower and a good dinner!!!

" There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story" ~ Frank Herbert

~ Dawn

Life is a game, play it; Life is a challenge, Meet it; Life is an opportunity, Capture it...!!!

It's been twenty years since I left my home for an adventurous journey.

There is a saying that everything is decided for you, it's called destiny. I am not sure how much it is true but the fact that I always had in my mind was that I will never leave Pune - my home town ever!

My experience had been that the moment I say or decide in my mind that I cannot do something - my heart always takes that route. It seems like my heart and mind are two such siblings who are there to tease and motivate each other. Probably, that's the reason that 20 years ago I did leave my home town Pune to an unknown journey in another country Canada.

"What you're missing is that the path itself changes you" ~ Julien Smith

We say one should plan ahead for everything and I have seen many people, who plan their journey, their marriage, kids etc.. but I always had more fun when things were unplanned. Probably that's the reason I enjoy managing IT projects because there is still some uncertainty that remains no matter how much you plan and analyze and still there is that excitement of making things meet no matter whether the project lands as per the plan or not.

"The best part of the journey is the surprise and wonder along the way" ~ Ken Poirot

My journey in Canada and thereafter life was something like a new released movie, where sometimes I have waited to see what will be next as supposed to do something to make happen things for me. When you are alone you take risks and it's like that roller-coaster ride where you have the fear and the pleasure of the highs and lows. As along as you are alive and breathing all is good.

"Some journeys can only be traveled alone" ~ Ken Poirot

My reflection back to all these 20 years outside of my home where I grew up is very enriching, learning and knowing humans from around the world. 

At home, I have contacts to reach, if nothing then at least I can use my parents name and get some reference. Here in Canada, no one knows my parents and no one knows me either. The struggle to create your identity through your unlimited hardwork and determination to do something and not get defeated or discouraged is what kept me going. Do what your heart says and whether you achieve it fully or not yet what you experience while trying is a big reward of learning and enjoyment in itself.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Even today, my strength is my those days. You look back and say, I survived those struggling days of looking for someone to call in sick where I get the opportunity to earn my minimum wage, those moments when I don't know how to sell and then I have to sell myself (my skills), for the job where 100s have applied, or sell the products which I have never used and probably will not be able to use as I don't know if I ever reach to that level where I can earn enough to buy these products.... from those days to today - it still gives me that kick to take risk.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all" ~ Helen Keller

In all these years one thing is consistent with me and that is no matter how the conditions are never miss to LIVE, because when you're fearless then you're life is limitless!!!

~ Dawn