It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities

 

I want to talk about bully! As far as I remember when I was a kid, there were times when I was bullied but we never knew there is something called bully. And even if you share it with someone that you're being bullied, people will look at it as your inability to handle things of your own - so you have that pressure too. 

I remember when I was in first grade and there were these three kids who would scare me and just before lunch time they would sneak out my lunch box, eat everything and leave the lunch box near my desk. For many days I didn't know who is doing that even. Anyhow, one day one of them teased me saying we are the ones who eat your lunch and you don't even know till now. I was really very upset but didn't had the guts to even react there. 

My Dad used to drop me to school every morning and evening I used to walk home with my neighbor. That day I went home and told my Mom about the lunch issue. My Mom was upset and I think she told my Dad, because next day when Dad was dropping me he straight asked me who are the kids that eat your lunch and don't even ask you for? 

I gathered a bit of a courage when Dad was inquiring and I looked around, one of them was playing on the slide and I showed it to my Dad.

Dad straight walked with me towards the slide and the kid for some reason figured out and as soon my Dad reached there he asked the kid can I talk to you and the kid came and said sure. My Dad said, do you and your friends sneak my daughter's lunch box everyday? The kid just looked down and my Dad said don't do that. If you ask her she will definitely share with you and he left.

I was scared wondering what will be the reaction and just like I expected, when all three came together they again came to me and said things and I heard they saying, my Mom is more stronger than her Dad and I will bring her tomorrow. 

"No one heals himself by wounding another."

Anyhow, that first grade was terrible for me though I was a good student and was a favorite of all teachers. Those three kids were always trouble makers and were expelled what I heard.

Anyhow, these kinds of things did happen in later part of the school and in High-school. I remember one of the classmate would be always trying to put me down - I never figured out what did I do to deserve that?

"Knowing what's right doesn't mean much unless you do what's right."

When I am reading a chapter in my English class, I hear whispering how come she can read so well. When I get my test marks even though they have scored higher than me still they would be after me asking, how much did you get? and I would say, less than you.

One time it so happened, very openly this classmate said when we grow up - I will be an engineer from a prestigious college, the other person will be a doctor since they want to do medicine and will have their own clinic, the third person will be a government officer as they aspire to be and when it came my turn, the person said, I will be a housewife cooking food. 

"I would rather be a little nobody than to be an evil somebody."

I felt I was way matured by then because I didn't get angry then instead smiled and said good at least someone will have to cook so that's fine. Now when I think of it, makes me feel how much the person was jealous of me ? or hated me? but for what? I am never rude to this person even today but they always try to put me down all the time. The funny thing is cooking we all do and I am working too !

"Imagine a world where the words you speak appear on your skin. Would you be more careful of what you say?"

But what I want to say is that such things do make an impact on mind otherwise I wouldn't be writing about this here on my blog after so many years...!

So friends, please don't bully anyone and say NO to bully!!!! 

"You never look good trying to make someone else look bad."

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance.

Today I am going to talk about an incident that took place while I was in tenth grade. Some mischiefs that we do when we are young, and it puts an impression for life long. I remember it was our inter-school field hockey competition and we were actually visiting the other school this time.

We caught the Pune Municipal Corporation public transport bus and along with the team our sports teacher Mrs. Bose was also accompanying us. Mrs. Bose told us before leaving the school ground, that if we win the game with other schools, then she is going to take us to a big expensive restaurant for lunch and everyone got excited. This was teams first trip to go out of the home ground and play otherwise, usually our school is always the host.

We reached the host's school ground and got introduced to the scorer, selector and coaches and teachers of other schools and went back to our seating area. After looking at the lists and exchanging the team players names with the main scorer and selector, our teacher came and said, girls are you ready to win? and we all roared in one chorus yeah!!!!!

Everyone took their position, I was at left center half position and we played like a team. Team was very good in passing and I was always the one who was fast in hitting the ball so as soon the ball came to me I hit it and it was a goal!!!! Everyone cheered us and we team hugged and back to work, our opponent team was not happy and they started playing foul by hitting with the hockey stick left and right. Some got the warning and some got out of the team but we did get injured. I still remember after that win when we gathered and my school teacher said to me you have been selected as I saw your name on the list, I was on ninth cloud and suddenly my teacher said where's that blood coming from, on your shoe? It was a white colored shoe and a drop of blood fell on it and I didn't realize that I was hit by that hockey stick and the blood was coming from my right hand thumb. 

"Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets." ~ Roald Dahl 

Immediately first-aid was arranged and everything was taken care. We were done here and were supposed to be out for lunch so everyone was happy. After a great lunch at the restaurant we headed to go back to our school and then home. As we all were excited everyone was happy and felt as if we rule the world. It's that age and the win and the appreciation, it was all that effect and we ran to sit in the bus on the last seat. 

"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts." ~ Nikki Giovani

We all sat and were talking loud and suddenly there was a guy who got into the bus and sat in front of us. He was big and the two-seater seat was fully taken by him and in a funny way I said, who's this elephant? I was not expecting that he would be able to hear me but the moment he turned back I, immediately apologized as suddenly I felt that's not me.

"You have to make mistakes to find out who you aren't. You take the action, and the insight follows: You don't think your way into becoming yourself." ~ Anne Lamott

It seems the guy also recognized that, because the way my face expression changed and I apologized - he said its okay but you shouldn't say that to anyone. I thanked him.

That day and till now, I have never made fun of anyone. I don't judge anyone. I have come to the understanding that everyone has their own story and we are no one to pass judgement to anyone. Let's live and let other's live. Life has so much to offer just enjoy and share your happiness if you can and move along.

"You need to give yourself permission to be human." ~ Joyce Brothers

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

The purpose of our life is to be happy !

 This post is dedicated to my blogger friend @keithakenny 😊 as in my previous post he replied and brought something which reminded me of something from my bramhacharya days!

According to the ancient Hindu scriptures a person's life is categorized into four stages, first Bramhacharya, second Grihastha, third Vanaprastha and fourth Sanyas. Life revolves around these four stages.

Bramhacharya provided guidelines for childhood and adolescent stage and certain basic values to follow during that time such as to train the children, to exercise control over the sense organs, that I remember is indriyas the root cause of all undesirable behavior so one needs to control that. In school our teacher was teaching about this when I challenged myself to control indriyas (sense organs) and I practiced it all during my childhood and adolescent stage without telling anyone. It was something that I wanted to see if I can and when I was able to control it was actually a big relief and sense of freedom, though it's a form of discipline which anyway was part of my life while I was growing up in National Defense Academy, in Pune, Maharashtra India.

"Like a muscle, the more you exercise self-control on a consistent basis, the stronger you get."

The second Grihastha stage is where I am right now where I am enjoying the married life, I have kids and I work and earn to make life prosper and ultimately that helps to progress the society.

"Most important thing in the world is family and love." ~ John Wooden

The third Vanaprastha stage is something that we all look forward, for me yet to reach there. Because this stage one reaches after fulfilling all the duties of the family life, which is bringing up a family to rearing children and them preparing them to face the world and take the responsibility of a family life as if you're giving the baton to the next generation to continue and this also teaches about the change aspect that it comes with time.

"Retirement is not the end of the road. It is the beginning of the open highway." 

Thus the gateway to the final stage is Sanyasa the fourth stage which can lead to nirvana or liberation after living a full life.

What I like about it is that it puts one into discipline such that you were prepared by your parents and now you're preparing the future generation to play their part in this world. The modern living is that people don't realize the importance of Vanaprastha  which is to retire gracefully. When to pave way for the next generation is a difficult question to answer in the modern times where people don't want to give up, whether it's the power or money.

Vanaprastha provides useful guidelines for peaceful departure from this world where I often say we come here with a limited time and with a specific purpose. It's ones duty to pass on the baton to the future generation without any attachment to one's own position. I am sure we see this a lot in this Silicon Valley - how one CEO steps down and the next takes over but often it's not the future generation.

That's why when we talk about preserving this planet -we have not inherited but borrowed this from the future generation and hence we have a responsibility to preserve it for them at least 

My thoughts were random today and I loved walking through them, thanks to @keithakenny !

"Life is the best teacher."

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Today only happens once.. make it amazing!

 I wanted to ask today what motivates you? I mean pre-pandemic or post-pandemic this question is always there as what motivates you? and now its even more because no matter what we are stuck at home though in California it's not that bad but still we work from home and are kind of getting used to it.

How do you charge yourself ? I mean don't tell me that you listen to a motivational speaker and it works for you because that doesn't work for me at all!!!!

I like to do something that makes me motivated and so what I did last year while we were stay at home, besides hiking was something that I am going to share today.

Yes, even though we were working from home and were able to be with family all the time and enjoy the backyard still you need something more that will excite you isn't it?

"Don't limit your challenges. Challenge your limits."

It was last year same time when the Indian festival Navratri that I recently wrote about was happening. We were not able to meet with friends so I started the trend of wearing saree on those nine days of Navratri. Each day has a significance to a color that relates to the Goddess and for me it was more of the saree love which strike the idea to wear each day based on the color significance. At least for those nine days I was making sure that my work was planned well such that I could take time out to wear saree. 

Dressing up is something that at least excites most of the women and this is me who used to be a tom-boy, now loves saree so much that I enjoyed wearing each day. Some liked my determination, some liked my saree and some liked me all this was fun. By the way this year, again I continued and tomorrow is the ninth day 😍!

"You will never always be motivated, so you must learn to be disciplined." 

Similarly, I opted for learning an instrument. Guitar being my favorite I picked it up and feels so good when I played Happy birthday on guitar for my son's birthday this March and April for my daughter, and Bob Marley's three little birds and then the Bollywood song and so forth...! It's a good distraction from the chaos of life.

"Try to find that motivation in your life which only you can create it no one else." ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Priorities over conveniences

Do you ever feel that twenty four hours is not enough? Yesterday was one of those days for me and I am sorry I couldn't blog yesterday.

Yesterday being Tuesday, I know my morning till noon are busy with meetings. And when these meetings are about the work items that need to be delivered by end of this month, I had to do more drilling with the team so that I know exactly how much work is remaining and if we are still going to make it or not.

I am also working with two different teams to prioritize the interdependencies and hence the time was too less to get everything done. On top of all this, I have to do my self-evaluation and you know how that goes because you have to remember all the work you did last year until now.

"Be ambitious. Get things done. Keep your priorities straight, your mind right and your head up." 😜

Health and family comes first for me always, so my five mile hike is something that I never miss and cooking healthy food in case I am able to make it to the kitchen before my husband gets in there 😊! Because if he gets in then I don't have to worry he will take care of the dinner.

But I had some other assignment work that came in and it has writing exercise and need to be submitted by next week.  Because it needs lot of research work, I wanted that frog to be eaten first so that I have a draft ready minimum so that I could work on it later.  I have a course which is two days per week and yesterday was the first day so I couldn't miss that one as I needed to complete the first exercise on the console and I didn't want to be behind from class.

"Like it or not, the world evolves, priorities change and so do you." ~ Marilu Henner

By the time I finished all that, it was almost midnight and I went to bed.

I consciously decided I will skip writing the post and yes, I did feel a little bad but yesterday was something I couldn't do all of them.

This morning, when I got up I decided I will write it down things to do and follow that sequence. I have noticed these days I get easily distracted and I was trying to make sure I stick to my 'to-do' list and not get carried away with social media and other news.

I am sure we all have those time-management and priority list and I used to be a mentor for the interns at work and other places helping on these topics. But I realize lately I am getting distracted a lot.

I realize making a daily to-do list puts me into discipline and hence that's my goal now on.

"Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters." ~ Margaret Peters

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Let your child play with dolls: boy, girl, gender neutral or all

 

Today is International Girl Child Day and to talk about the challenges and discrimination that girls go through daily in entire life span around the world - it will be tough one.

International day of the Girl Child acknowledges the importance, power, and potential of adolescent girls by encouraging the opening up of more opportunities for them. At the same time, this day is designated to eliminate gender-based challenges that little girls face around the world, including child marriages, poor learning opportunities, violence, and discrimination.

There are privileged one's where the girl survives and gets raised with love and affection. She gets education and still there will be something that she would not be able to do, or say because she is a girl. So we cannot say that girls are treated equally in a patriarchal society where boys have more right for everything.

I remember when the calling out for the rights of women and girls was first achieved by the Beijing Declaration in 1995 at the World Conference on Women in Beijing - I was giving an interview in the Maharashtra Labor Welfare office in India. A question was asked to me - if I get married, will I change my last name to my husband's last name or will I keep my last name that is given by my family. It was a tough one those days, because I was sitting in front of two men who were already talking about what's happening in Beijing and were saying it's crazy!

"When girls are educated, their countries become stronger and more prosperous." ~ Michelle Obama

I didn't respond the way I wanted to then because I wanted to be selected for the Labor Welfare Officer's position as I stood first in Maharashtra for my Masters and hence I said, it is individual's choice. If I feel like adding my husband's last name then I will add and if I don't want then I will keep everything same because either way I will be a wife to the man I am married to.

Both men laughed and one guy who looked more senior in age, said she meant she will keep her husband's last name and she is not getting carried away with this Beijing thing. I was shocked but I only smiled at this and further moved on with rest of the questions. I came out of that office and later got the letter about my selection. It's a different thing that I migrated to Canada exploring that side of the adventure but wanted to share a glimpse of it here. Though the Beijing world conference on Women was the first- ever blueprint to have identified the need for addressing issues faced by adolescent girls all around the world.

"Achieving gender equality is about disrupting the status quo - not negotiating it." ~ Phumzile Mlambo

I remember my parents telling me when my Mom was expecting me, she wanted a girl child and those days there were no gender identifying machines and hence she prayed to have a baby girl. She went to her Mom's house for delivery as my grand father was not keeping well. And that time my Dad sent her a letter saying if you have a baby girl name her Dawn and if baby boy then you can decide what you want to name. This incident clearly reminds me how they were looking forward for me to come into their life. But in India and around the world, there are incidents where as soon they come to know it's going to be a baby girl either they kill the baby in the womb or just after the birth of the baby.

"Girls and boys have similar brains with equal math ability".

Now imagine, if that killing is unsuccessful what this girl who will be born will go through her entire life, until she becomes strong to say No, yet keep fighting for her basic survival. It's a tough world and who makes it?

I was raised by my parents with equal rights but my Mom was always worried about my outspoken nature, because she knew how the world is and hence, I have often seen her giving justification for my nature to others - because she want her daughter to be accepted in this world. And I always listened to my Dad who tells me, do what you like as long as it's not hurting others. Live your life as don't listen to society because they never come for your help when you need one.

I wish to see this world as shown below: where a girl and boy are equal and counted as two people and not one girl and one boy. Equality matters to everyone, not just to boys!

Every day is a happy day with a girl child around. Wishing you a very happy international  day for a girl child.

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

The art of mankind is Cinema

I had the opportunity to watch the Indian Movie Thalaivii - a movie based on the life of Indian actress-politician: J. Jailalitha.

I don't remember much about her actress days as I probably was not even born then. But I remember the time when her mentor and guide late MG Ramchandran - when he was unwell and died and on television the news was relayed. Those days, not much into politics as such but I remember when the Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated and those elements are mentioned in this movie as well so there's a lot to connect from her political era and hence I was curious to see what all they show in this biopic movie.

"The role of cinema is to lead people in the right direction." ~ Jayalalitha

I was disappointed! It showed her actress days and how she rise in her career and shine and how she is involved with her mentor, and guide that she followed MG Ramachandran  religiously. Also, how she got into politics, it all shows how smart she was in her time. To act when the iron is hot and to think ahead of the game was seemed like a skill that she had from the beginning.

Jayalalitha has done a lot for children and women while she was in politics and hence she was democratically elected so many times. The people of Tamilnadu were with her. I have heard many stories about her goodwill gesture towards the people.

"Challenges are the main reason for making up talent." ~ Jayalalitha

The actors I was impressed was with Arvind Swamy as MG Ramachandran - what a getup it literally felt MGR is alive - very well captured and another character was Raj Arjun - what a classic actor, I got stuck looking at him as I remembered his face but couldn't figure out for long where I have seen him and then remembered he was in the movie called Secret Superstar. I think he will go long way, amazing performance.

Another I wanted to call out was the artist chosen for Indira Gandhi as Flora Jacob and Rajiv Gandhi as Rajiv Kumar - I felt their get up was very close to the real characters. I was quiet impressed with the makeup man. One didn't have to think who this character is in the story - that brilliant it was.

Kangana Ranaut's get up as Jayalalitha was done very well too. I wish her voice was dubbed by someone else then probably we could forget Kangana and focus on Jaya. Anyhow, as the story moves slowly audience gets into the grove but I felt the story doesn't have the grip. Though there's such a potential in Jayalalitha as a character and her life - so much one can do but the story seemed like was kind of fast forwarded at times. At one point they just showed ten years later and I was wondering what happened before that?

"Education can be the answer to your question. But culture is an essential part of being a human." ~ Jayalalitha

Similarly, the movie ended as soon as Jayalalitha because the CM of Tamilnadu though there's more that they could have shown as what all Jayalalitha did to uplift the people of Tamilnadue and what all she did the children and women and how women used to feel free to walk even at night alone as she made sure it is safe for everyone.

I have great respect for Jayalalitha - a strong and unique in her own way and stood strong even though had tough time dealing with people who would take advantage of her.

Overall, okay movie it's just that my expectation was high!

"Good or bad it depends on how you think about it."  Jayalalitha

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Spiritually, life is a festival, a celebration :-)

It's Indian festival season, and it's called Navratri (nine nights) in the honor of the divine feminine Devi Durga. This festival usually falls in September or October based on the Hindu Calendar. It is celebrated in different ways in different regions of India.

Anyhow, for me festivals meant more or less understanding the culture, food, gatherings, dance and fun overall. I know it will sound strange that it is religious festivals and how come I am not bringing any of those here.

"To celebrate a festival means; to live out, for some special occasion and in an uncommon manner, the universal assent to the world as a whole." ~ Josef Pieper

I have always been attracted towards the cultural aspect of it and not by any religion. I come from a secular country and hence I have always believed in humanity. As a kid growing up, I had my neighbors who were Christians - Catholics and Pentecostals, Hindus, Muslims, Sikh, Jain, etc,. My parents never forced me into any religion, in fact when my neighbor was alone I used to give company to her, sometimes read Bible for her or go to church with her. It was never considered as wrong.

Being there I have read Old Testament and New Testament and I have read Quran, Geeta, Gurugranth Saheb and all religion teaches to love one another. But I love these festivals for its main outcome where we all gather and celebrate life.

During these times, women get to dress up in Saree and being a saree lover I always love these nine days. These nine days has it's own significance for each day. And one of the days is celebrating Durga, where women play with red powder - kind of holi festival. Instead of color here it will be red colored powdered which women will apply to each other and celebrate Devi Durga. Though it is said only married women are supposed to play with the red powder but I believe every women has the right to play with this red colored powder, there is no discrimination. But yes, in the olden days people had their ways how to discriminate the windows verses married women. It's patriarchy that dictates and hence married women has more power. There is lot of orthodox believes that come with it too and some really believe and follow these. I am only scared for them for thinking and believing like this. 

When religious festivals bring us together then why fight with each other for religion? 

"Religion is like a pair of shoe..find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes." ~ George Carlin

I thought religion, festival all these are for us to come together and share the culture, food and company. So, enjoying these nine days by wearing nine different colored saree's each day based on the preference for that particular day. The best thing during these days is about the food and sweets and getting dressed up and enjoying with friends.

Life is short so enjoy every moment 😍 instead of spending time in hating each other.

~ Dawn 

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step..!

Today I would like to talk about saving. What thought does that bring to you? The moment I thought of it, things that came to my mind is - saving time, saving a life, saving energy, saving the planet, saving money... well and the list goes on. Yes, we must try to what we can!

My childhood went in a very sheltered manner with parents being in central government, most of the facility was free to us. Housing, utilities, and many more but we never took it for granted. We were taught to take care of things as if you own it and at the same time you should leave it when it's ready to in a condition that others can use it as well. We never wasted water though cleanliness was top priority, we saved energy by switching off lights when we don't need them and similar things. However, I have seen people who were paying for every bit are the ones who never switch off lights even when their work is done or will keep the tap running etc. 

"When the sun is bright, so no to tube light." 😉

Anyway I have a good nature of saving things and that means by energy, life or plants that I can and money. I used to get pocket money from my both parents as they both used to work. Each one will give ten bucks and I used to save them in my diary.

"Either fill pitchers or live by the river." ~ Vineet Raj Kapoor

One day my Dad saw that, as he used to give me crisp and new notes because at work he used to give salary to the workers and those days it was not via electronic deposit into the accounts. The new bills he would share with me and also when there was a new bill for a two rupee or a five rupee which should be a recent addition then Dad would save it for me and I used to preserve them as souvenir.

When Dad saw the crisp bills falling from my diary he said, what is this? Looks like you need a bank account and since then he opened a student bank account in my name. Now, he puts money in my account as well as he used to give it to me as a pocket money. So saving is there by nature very early at that age.

This came in handy when I was in Canada working as an Outbound Sales Representative, (one of my struggle time in Canada), in Canadian Imperial Bank of Commerce (CIBC). An hourly payment of three dollars to fifteen was a big jump but still there was huge tax in Toronto. I made sure to put fifty bucks from my each pay-cheque to my savings account, because otherwise I felt I would spend in for my rent, grocery, bus pass, and other necessary items.

"Do not save what is left after spending; instead spend what is left after saving." ~ Warren Buffett

Soon that time came, when one day I saw the landlord sent a notice saying from September onwards the rent will increase. So here I was paying in three figures and soon it will be in four figures and the very thought of it gives me a heartache as I felt this hard earned money is going straight into dustbin or I am paying someone else's mortgage, what's the benefit for me other than just living in that rented apartment?

That day I was restless as mind was distracted and thoughts were to look for a home. Mind is such a player, the moment the thought resided, I started looking at houses - when I travel by bus to work or anywhere, I am looking at houses. In my mind I will say yeah, something like this or no I don't want this kind of fence and so I decided I will buy a house.

I discussed this with one of my friend,  a credit specialist. My thought was appreciated but I didn't get any encouragement as I was told, you don't have enough credit and you will not get a mortgage so don't even think of it now. Somehow, I was obstinate. This triggered like a fire in my mind and I started listening to folks who bought house and in doing so one of the guy who was in the call center working at the back-office operations, shared his excellent experience of buying a house and the realtor made it so smooth for him that he couldn't stop praising enough of them and so he handed over me their business card.

"No matter where you're from, your dreams are valid." ~ Lupita Nyong'o

I decided to give a call to the realtor, it was a husband and wife- where Wife picked up the call and I told her about my interest in buying a house. At this time, I don't have much idea but I said I am interested and I gave my preference as I should be safe even when I am walking to my home at midnight. It seemed like she understood and she asked me for my email where she will send me the potential lists.

I received the listing of houses and I would look at it and say yeah, okay or may be and finally she said this weekend we can go looking for houses. I was excited. By now, in my mind I am ready and if I don't qualify then that's their failure not mine. Because I have a full time job with steady income and since I have come into the country which is eight months I have not defaulted on any bills. The lady was a senior lady and her husband too. Both were very delicate but very polite and well dressed. While talking to them I came to know the lady is born in Germany and husband is Italian but they have been in the country for many years.

"Dare to dream, then decide to do." ~ Annette White

I became comfortable with them and we looked around three-four houses and I didn't like any of them, may be because they were apartments, condominiums or semi-detached houses. Anyhow, the next time lady had a good list and I loved the house she took me to. Amazing detached house with two bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, living area and exactly same structure downstair in the basement. Laundry washer- dryer in the basement and to be frank the house seemed to be so cool - a corner house with front, side and backyard lawn space - literally reminded me of a dream house in the middle of green-green grass!!!

I said yes let's move with this and I shared all my financial details. They said lets check and they have their contacts in different banks where everyone calculated and did everything and guess what my Bank (CIBC) won't give me mortgage 😁as there is no guarantee ! Anyway, they tried in all other banks and since this was my first home that I was planning to purchase I got into the first time home-buyers plan. But for that I need to put down five percent towards my mortgage and you know what came in handy that time? The fifty bucks that I was putting in my savings from every pay-cheque and my Registered Retirement Savings Plan (RRSP) (similar to 401K), which I was putting in before tax - it saved me. 

"You must gain control over your money, or the lack of it will forever control you." ~ Dave Ramsey

I became a home-owner and people couldn't believe it. My friend who was working in CIBC did said that I will not get and he was right, I didn't at CIBC but I did get it from Royal Bank.

This I am sharing because I was not making a lot but whatever I had out of that I was saving here and there and that didn't go waste.

"Mind your coin; you may never know when." ~ Ernest A Yeboah

So please save whatever you get out of that keep a dime, a quarter or a buck and you will see how it helps in the long run.

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

Ask for help not because you’re weak, but because you want to remain strong!

 

Today I am going to talk about Help! It's a small word but very powerful and yet many hesitate to ask.

"You are never strong enough that you don't need help." ~ Cesar Chavez 

This word you can use anywhere when you need it and when I say anywhere, what I mean is at work, and at home as well. Many times we go through so much in life that we forget that we can ask for help. There is no one who will judge you because at the end when they hear why we are asking for help let's hope they will get the idea behind it.

I have reached at a level in my career where I know what needs to be done to manage the release work on time. But then I want to learn more. Lately, we are working from home and because of that we don't see our colleagues anymore. At the most its on the slack where we will ask for each other's well being or if they are part of your team then you're just meeting virtually online and then you don't bother with anything else. It has become a routine to run after the release one after the other and other...!

I am getting bored of this routine and hence I have been wondering to learn something new. But each time I look at things, it is outside of my work like a theory but practical is the only way I can learn and if that is done at work what best do I need then. It will make more sense for me and I will be able to learn in true sense being a visual learner. I have been going from website to website and trying to see what I can learn being in my current role which will enhance my skills.

"Don't let your fear of being judged stop you from asking for help when you need it."

I also thought about reaching out to someone at work, in my team who can just allow me to watch them doing and I can ask questions wherever I have doubts. But then I was a bit hesitant and this thought has been in my mind for weeks and months. Nothing was coming out and I was getting restless. When my one on one meeting came with my manager, she asked how is that going? Did you ask if you can watch them and learn from it? And my immediate response was that, no I am going to ask.

"You can do anything but not everything." ~ David Allen

I don't know why I was hesitating because in my mind I was giving all kinds of reasoning what if? So these thoughts kept me away from asking.

Today when I was on my walk I said to myself, I am going to ask and see what they say. In my mind somewhere I was hesitating because I thought they will say no? or it will be a dilemma for them to accommodate this request of mine etc.. !

After my walk, came back had my lunch and I straight away pinged my team member and asked for help.

I was eagerly waiting for a response but you know how things happen? The more you're eager the more delay in response and that increases the suspense altogether. Anyhow, I just walked away from my desk and watered the plants in my backyard and refilled the bird-bath and came back to my desk. To my surprise the answer was sure, that's not a problem.

You see, I was hesitating for something which should not be my concern and for that matter I delayed it for weeks and months. This is about my personal growth but let me tell you this can be for anything.

"Sometimes the loudest cries for help are silent." ~ Harlan Coben

This October month is for so many national awareness month, some in the world and some in specific countries. There's one for breast cancer awareness and the other is domestic violence awareness and I feel in both these cases  please seek help. Don't be under the assumption that it feels okay and so I am okay. 

Please when in doubt, just ask and answer will be this way or that way but at least you will be clear in mind and be relieved that you asked for help! Nothing is too late when we ask for help or advice and you can make choice out of it that's better for you, for your own good.

So my women friends,  please make sure you go for your annual mammogram, you can ask for it. And if you're going through emotional violence it is domestic violence so please seek help. 

"Find your happiness and independence first only then you can give happiness to your loved ones." ~ Dawn

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

The art of conversation lies in listening..!

There are so many ways we express and these days there are so many ways that you can express yourself.

Here it is about talking, expressing yourself through words to someone. There are times when we talk, explain and make one another understand each other. It could be at work, at home or at any place that you can think of. 

These days people have emojis to express but then that doesn't give you sufficient ways to express - say if you are happy you will say 😄 but why you're happy you can express through that emoji can you?

"Speech is power: Speech is to Persuade, to convert, to compel." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Hence, talking and expressing is so important, but if no one listens to it then what's the use of that talk or expression? I learned in a sales training that it is so important to listen. It's not that before that I was not listening, I would listen to whoever is talking to me, whether my friends, my family or even someone who is fighting , still I will give an ear to it. 

"Freedom of speech should be wide open as long as it doesn't incite violence." ~ Mike Leach

I believe, one should listen to understand the issue, or scenario to come to any conclusion because otherwise it is called assumption and one shouldn't make that because it will not lead you any where. Hence, listening to someone as what they are trying to say? If you still have doubt you can ask questions and get clarification but if you just stop listening and keep blabbering while the other person is talking then its a chaos monkey!!!

And when someone does that, you know they don't want to listen and when they don't want to listen means they are not willing to make any friendly approach towards what you are planning to share.

It's very absurd when someone tells you that you talk but I am not going to listen. There is no point in saying even that you talk!

"The power of speech is the ability to express a lot in a few words." ~ Plutarch

I had such experience but somehow I wanted them to listen what I had to say because it is very important to clear off any misunderstandings and I always believe one must get the opportunity to clear that off. No matter what, one must listen and then what you have to make a decision is up to you but make sure you clear your part either by talking or by writing because these days communication can be in many different ways. People send flowers and express their happiness and love so why not we listen if someone is talking to you?

"One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say." ~ Bryant H. McGill

I understand unnecessary talking becomes noise. When someone is explaining the situation or a question or an expression in what regards they started, that should help the person who is listening. Hence, a communication and a good conversation is very important between people and if there is no hope still a goodbye is a good closure to the topic but yes, you must say and listen to it too.

~ Dawn

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

It's not the destination, it's the journey ...

Road-trips..who doesn't love it? I don't know about others but I love road-trips since my childhood.

"All you need is a wheel in your hand and four on the road." 😉 ~ (modified Jack Kerouac's quote)

It was after my high-school exams, that we got into our summer holidays as the results were not out yet.

Family decided to go to Mahabaleshwar, which is in Maharashtra State of India. The British colonial rulers developed this town into a Hill Station, served as the summer capital of Bombay Presidency during those days.

"Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter." ~ Izaak Walton

This place is a treat for nature lovers as it has lush green forest, there is a fort that King Chatrapati Shivaji built it called as Pratapgad. It's beautiful and to go there you need to do some hiking. Since there is a holy river Krishna Nadi, at the bank of it there is a temple as well.

Besides visiting the scenic places, and eating the local cuisine of Maharashtra there are five temples with old Indian architecture. It's basically a holiday resort, honeymoon sport and pilgrimage site for people. So any age can enjoy the trip.

"Roads are a record of those who have gone before."~ Rebecca Solnit

We had booked a van and it was so much fun, I remember through the trip it was Samantha Fox who's cassette was playing in the van. So many beautiful vista points and pictures and the best part was to stop at certain places to eat because the food taste will vary as you make progress within the Maharashtra state.

I remember going for a boat ride at Venna lake and a horse ride, it was such a fun ride. There's also an Elephant point rock which reminds me of the Elephant rock at Valley of fire near Las Vegas.  

After all the fun, food and friendly time, on our return we were all dead asleep until my Dad suddenly started the 'funky town' on the cassette and everyone jumped off the seats..lol!

Road-trips are so much fun that it gives you, your own space and privacy when you are in your car or van. You will enjoy specially in this pandemic time as people were crowding at the airport for vacations.

We often do road-trips in US as there is so much to see here and you can drive along and go to as many States as you can based on your vacation duration. Music is one best company during such trips and one must be ready for anything and everything to face whether it's the food, stay or meet people along the way.

"The only impossible journey is the one you never begin." ~ Tony Robbins 

~ Dawn 

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time

We make mistakes by accident or accidentally not on accident ..

 

Let's talk about today's Facebook, WhatApps and Instagram outage as everyone is talking about it anyway ..lol!

Usually, my morning starts with my alarm and then news after that. During the news I heard about Frances Haugen the ex-employee of Facebook how she leaked internal research details to Wall Street Journals. And I thought yet another scandal out. After the new hour was over, I went and got ready for my work. 

After finishing my breakfast I quickly got on to my office work and there after meetings. In between, I was sending a reply to someone who messaged me on messenger and the message didn't go. Anyhow I moved on to WhatsApp as my parents wishes me greetings of the day, so I responded to them and a few to my college friends on the group and then I noticed, none of my messages are being delivered.

I thought it must be my internet but then that was working fine because my office laptop was working and I attended couple of meetings on zoom too. So I tried rebooting my phone and checked but no luck.

"That awkward moment when you accidentally hit the LIKE button during Facebook stalking." ~ Hussein Nishah

I just got busy with work and my routine work continued, until I heard Facebook service outage and then I heard its their Domain Name System (DNS) that got messed up, which actually looks up for the IP address  for Facebook.com and brings the page up but later heard that the Border Gateway Protocol (BGP) router is removed which actually connects the network with one another. 

Anyway this was the longest time when their service was down and how time is precious for businesses like this, yet seems Mark Z the lost six billion in personal wealth and yet what I heard is that this is a drop in the bucket for the Tech Crunch. 

"We don't meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason."

One thing we all must learn from this is that nothing is permanent in this world and hence don't get hooked on to anything, that's about social media but in reality isn't it the same that we come alone and we go alone from this planet and whatever we get through is acquaintances which we leave one way or the other.

Enjoy the time that you got off of the social media as time is precious at the end of the day!

"Detachment is an art of enjoying something while always being open to the possibility of losing it someday." ~ John B. Bejo

~ Dawn

The greatness of a culture can be found in its festivals..!

 

A festival is an event ordinarily celebrated by a community and centering on some characteristic aspect of that community and its culture.

I have probably attended many festivals mostly it would be music festivals and a few cultural ones too where you will have many different stalls, where either you can buy stuff or eat stuff or you can get an art or tattoo etc.

I happened to attend this weekend a Mosaic Festival, where it was not a music festival but it was one of its kind with the world cultural event. I have attended a few such festivals where it would be one or few cultural events from very selective countries but this one was one of its own kind. A world platform to represent all cultures and their traditions right from the very natives of this country to around the world. It had the traditional ones of each culture and the athletic style of street dance from United States. There was everything for everyone and it was not just that people could watch but yes when the music hits even you  can join and dance with their dancers. 

"To celebrate a festival means; to live out, for some special occasion and in an uncommon manner, the universal assent to the world as a whole." ~ Josef Pieper

It was a mosaic of all culture coming together on one platform where everyone was different in looks, color, race, culture and yet everyone smiled and shared one happiness of belongingness. Like five fingers that look different yet when they come together they are a power shell. Bringing all together and enjoying the each other's culture, music and dance was a perfect delicacy that was served on a platter for many and it was free.

"Festivals promote diversity, they bring neighbors into dialogue, they increase creativity, they offer opportunities for civic pride, they improve our general psychological well-being. In short, they make cities better places to live." ~ David Binder

There were food trucks which was all different kind - Korean BBQ, Vegan, Sushi and you name it. The main stage was with all the performances from noon till six in the evening, but that was not it. There were other stalls with workshops on yogic path finding balance, painting, Tai Chi, Origami, Urban dance etc. It was a full on fun for everyone. Probably, if you get bored of one thing watching too long then you can move to next but here it wasn't like that at all as you will be sucked into the colorful, cultural dance with music and so you will be wanting for more and yet you will be thinking in mind that you have so much more to cover through the workshop stalls.

Who says that cultures cannot mix and match? When you see the performance of Rajasthani dance collaborating with Ballet it's an amazing fusion that gives another perspective to creativity of art. 

"Festival of the impassioned efforts and manifold ambitions of all forms of youthful activity of every generation springing from the threshold of life." ~ Pierre de Coubertin

This festival was a great support and help to people in general, as after pandemic coming together at one place of all race and making sure of safety by wearing mask all the time and keeping safe distancing even though only vaccinated people were allowed. Everyone needed a reason to be out and celebrate and this was the best way to come together and share the humanity and healing experience.

The festival has helped people to come out and mingle with their friends and family while they are being entertained by all the talented artists representing various countries and ethnicity. I am sure there are so many artists who are impacted by this pandemic financially and this platform not only supported them but also gave an opportunity to market themselves. 

After finishing the festival with my friend I went to dine at a place and I saw there was life music in that restaurant and as the musicians were getting ready the guitarist guy I saw running and joining them - when I looked at him I recognized he was at the festival playing with the San Jose Jazz team and now he was performing at this live music event - I can only imagine the struggle they go through in this time.

"Festivals are happy places, and you don't really want to enjoy them on your own." ~ Christine and the Queens

Let's unite and come together to help each other that's what is festivals and our traditions teach us.

~ Dawn  

Note: Now you can listen to the audio version of my blogs in Hindi on the UshaDawn Hindi Podcast on Google, Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Check it out and new episodes uploaded every day 3 AM Pacific Standard Time