Monday, October 17, 2016

Life is so unfair!!!

He loved his dad like every kid would do
As he was taking every step of his beginnings
With his dad by holding his hands
He needed his dad's help and guidance
In every happiness and struggle times
When he came to know he is going to loose 
His dad to cancer, it was a shock!
He got so sad that he went into depression
A new life that is yet to see the world
Got lost somewhere...!
He wanted someone with whom he can share
Yet he didn't know who would understand his pain
He found a friend and shared his life in bits and pieces
The friend gave a listening ear and supported morally
He took some strength and tried to face the world
As he looked around, he saw people doing all bad things to their health
Some he saw smoking, some drinking without thinking 
And he asked life - why you are so unfair?
My dad never smoked and drank casually
Yet you took him away from me so quickly
Look at these people who are doing all harm
Yet living and making other living beings suffer
Why? Why? Why?
Life is so unfair!!!

~ Dawn

Friday, September 30, 2016

We must taste the bitter before we can appreciate the sweet..!!!

We talk about nature, water, land, fresh air, confidence and freedom but everything comes with a price.

I remember my time when I moved to Canada and was renting one of basement apartment where I was to pay for my stay and food.
One would imagine that if you pay you have no other obligation but that’s not how it was. I used to respect and treat the owner and his wife as my parents. I did everything in that house as if it’s my responsibility.
This nature of mine gave me a tough time to deal with my day to day things. When I was looking for a job, I was told to help with them in Jesus work. The owner was a priest who would make me translate his stories and poems in other Indian languages so that it can reach to those many people and that many people he will be able to convert them into Pentecostal Christians.
Initially, the way it was put on me as a task I thought I can ask them if my rent can be waived but then I was told I shouldn’t expect something like this when I am doing god’s work.
I saw that there was another room in the basement that was rented by another girl who came from Sri Lanka and we both didn’t take much time to become friends. It was her Yamuna who took me out in downtown and made me apply for jobs. Since the say I got the job the owner and his wife started telling me to stay away from Yamuna. It reached to a level where Yamuna moved out to some other place and I felt very lonely.
I was forced to go to church with them every Sunday and start praying every day in their house morning and evening.

Even though I was paying my rent and staying in that house. The couple made me do all their household chores such as help them washing dishes, cutting vegetables etc. I always took as helping them but it took too much stress when they started making me do things such as grate a whole coconut, cut the vegetables in different suggested sizes and pack them in zip-lock bags and put it in freezer during my day off.
Those days finishing my work at night and coming from downtown to home used to be almost mid-night and hence after a tiring day I went to bed at 1 am that too with a bad headache. At 4 am my door is banged asking me to wake up because we need to get up and pray for their son who is leaving for Malaysia for work. I had taken some medicine hence I couldn’t wake up and when I did wake up it was 7 am in the morning and the priest got so mad at me that he started scolding me for not being responsible and being part of the prayer. Even though I apologized for not joining the prayer he kept on repeating and making me feel guilty as if I did something wrong by not attending the prayer in the early morning for his son.
I really started feeling what am I doing. Why I have to be so obligated when their own kids don’t listen to them. As a human and as an agnostic person I did what I did but suffering and injustice is something that I am not taught to tolerate.

As they say everything has a limit. It was my time when I decided to move on and took an apartment to live by my own. Yes, in those days in a new place, new country it was fear in my mind. I was more scared because I was alone and being a woman I was scared of everyone around. It’s this fear that always kept me way from enjoying the freedom. Slowly, I moved from one job to the other and actually started living and organizing my life.
The freedom to live, the freedom to get to live by yourself and not be answerable to anything is something a relief which I only realized after what I went through.
Never suppress anyone even if you are in a position to because once a person starts disliking this behavior they want to go far from you. Love people and let people love you. Freedom should not be by losing anyone.

"It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you" :)

~ Dawn

Sunday, September 18, 2016

I had a dream this morning and it was about my Dad

It was amazing at the San Jose Poetry Festival today. I was attending the poetry workshop where they talk about different types of poetry writing and it was amazing to hear as for me poetry is something that comes to mind or something that I feels in my heart and I narrate it in my own words. 
We were told to write about the recent or the latest dream that you had and to my surprise I had a dream this morning and it was about my Dad.

Here’s what my dream was in a poetry form:

It was a serene day
I saw dad walking towards home
The visual from my window that I saw was
Dad in his big check shirt long sleeves folded
with a dark blue trousers walking
And the colors all over him
I know he was out when 
The color of festival Holi was played
He was sure mom will be mad and even I knew of that
We both caught each other’s eyes
And I signaled him to stay intact 
So I can take a picture of him.
The moment he saw my action with camera
He jumped from the ground to an elevated one
And to my surprise I clicked that moment!
Such a surreal moment I thought and 
Wondered if I am missing dad or is this him?
The thought took me to the childhood days
As a proud daddy’s girl, I always thought
This is the world.
And when I look today,
I see how I created my own world!!!

~ Dawn

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Until when is it called as discrimination?

Until when is it called as discrimination? These thoughts have been creeping in lately and the reason is my children.

As part of learning and sharing, I often discuss how things were when I was of their age and the main reason to share this with them is to give a glance of the era.
How things were different and yet we survived and how things have changed and we see how the generation is all about.

Definitely, we all agree with the change and the generation being much smarter than what we were. At least, there is more awareness and technology that is a big blessing.

The other day I was telling about how I was helping mom in the kitchen even when I am in 10th grade and how the responsibilities increased from there. When I walk-thru a day’s chores that I used to do besides my studies and games, my 9-year-old son starts sharing his feedback. He said, mom whenever you tell about how you were told to do things by your mom I feel your story is just like the Cinderella ... the very thought and his expression always brings a big laugh for me.
Imagine, our elder’s instructions were taken with all due respect and we used to do it but today? Those are seen to be as rude or bully.

The other day I was telling my daughter how we managed our studies and helping in the house and it was not a weekend job but it was something we grew up with because that’s how life is going to be even when we are out of our student life.
My daughter immediately starts with her gender discrimination statement. Mom, even he should be doing things at home. The point of learning and taking responsibility stands on the side and a new topic started with gender discrimination.

I explained how her brother will be slowly pulled into this as he also needs to learn and be independent no matter what gender he is, or who is his partner in life, one has to do their part and not to be dependent on anyone.

As I was saying this I also started thinking about my time... yes, I remember when I was a kid my elder brother used to do chores at home, he used to make tea for parents and boil the milk which was a tradition those days. But as we grew up things changed and yes I wondered that’s so true things changed.
My parents never discriminated but I guess my mom was more worried to make me independent than my brother because she might have thought he will be home and she can manage it for him.

Yes so far I was not thinking of anything like that in fact I felt proud that I was able to help my mom with her daily chores but todays kids are putting these discrimination thoughts in mind that why didn’t your brother helped in the kitchen?
Sometimes awareness can take you to that crossroad where you wonder :)