Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Communication is a knife !?!

What is communication? We all talk about this word whether its in office with our team, in the company or even in the family and in relationship as well.

What in reality communication means? Is it only to convey a message? Is it only to listen and don't give your opinion? Or is it a selective listening strategy which one expresses that yes we communicate well.

My thought process and belief about communication is that between two people, or many people such as in a company - it is to openly communicate, share and discuss. During this one can share what they know and others don't, they can discuss if there is a question or solution that they are asking from others or to even to a next level where you can challenge someone if you don't agree with their discussion or point. Many times in stead of creating a healthy discussion, and communication between two people or a group, it ends up in an argument.

Have you come across such a situation ever in life? Many times this comes out with people who are close to you because colleagues will always take it in a professional manner and try to respect each other's opinion rather than getting into an argument - easy to express your opinion and easy to move out by listening to others opinion even though you might not agree with their views.

People argue to agree to disagree and later it turns out to be in two ways - either you stop discussing / communicating / ignore OR you move out of that zone altogether where you don't even communicate with them because the outcome of the whole thing leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

In such case what is there? Healthy communication which should improve the relationship and bring closeness or even bring a broad minded thinking it turns out to be total disaster. 

Why people then say for any relationship to flourish or any process and team to work appropriately - communication should be there. In my so far life I have heard of over communication is better than no communication.

I grew up communicating with my parents about everything that used to happen in my life and that was most of the school time stories and discussions. Sometimes things that I shared were looked at different ways and I used to get a feedback or suggestion that you should have done this way or that way and I used to respect their opinion and used to logically think about it such that I could use that next time.
School life to college life and so forth but nothing changed in my style of communication. I rather became more close to my parents and brother as I wanted them to be part of everything that I do in school or outside of house.
Time changed and as I moved to a independent level I realized communication always helped in all stages of life. Whether it was to communicate to someone about a pain, or even a happiness it was very obvious and clear in communication. 
But many times this communication has become a big problem in life. Have you ever come across this way? 

My still belief is that good or bad if someone is taking a comment or topic discussion as personal then it can become an argumentative communication but then isn't communication all about opening up, giving room to others to express their views and opinions and respectfully communicate your own views or opinions?

I feel mostly these days communication is what killing the relationship or bringing issues. The more smart and intelligent we assume about ourselves the more we keep expectations from others as how to react to our communications or discussions and views. It is becoming as to dictate others and this is something I don't consider as an open communication to flourish any relationship or resolve any issues or come to any solutions.

At the end communication I see as a sharp knife, which can cut fruits and vegetables for you at the same time if you don't use the knife properly it can cut your fingers too.

Are we moving more towards a world where technology is taking over without even making us realizing about what we are missing about in-person communication or one on one communication? People are more tend to get communication from internet, documentaries or TED talks etc but people are so sold out to these that when they find someone in person to communicate or talk, they end up arguing and part with ill-feeling.

Sad, but we should think about it technology should be working for us and not we becoming handicap to technology and lose connection with real people.

An expression - whether its happiness, anger, disagreement its all a way of communicating and expressing the feelings. If you consider your loved ones are really your loved ones then do listen and give room to think about and listen to what they are trying to communicate.

Communication is a knife which anyway is going to cut things try to use it to cut through all barriers and reduce distances rather than murdering it.

~ Dawn

Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Not all those who wander are lost ;)

Ohio Cleveland here we come ... ;)
Kids were very happy to meet their to be six month old second cousin. It was a bit relaxing moment. Once the meet and greet was done the journey took the ride towards Kentucky. 
Many people do not make this as their part of visit to Lincoln's birthplace and boyhood place - thats what we realized when we landed the place.
It was an amazing feeling as we drove down the lanes where you see lush green corn fields and soya bean crops and the only road in the center which takes you from Lincoln's school to his boyhood place to his birthplace and memorial place. It was a place where for a moment your heart wants to reside and live there.
Reading the history and knowing Lincoln more closely was kind of literally living Lincoln's life. What I felt proud about that anyone in this country become a president irrespective of his class, status as long as he is a deserving candidate.

The hardship he went through something that I am sure the new generation will get bored to hear but as one thinks its a reality that nothing comes free in life.
It was a different feeling altogether to imagine that you are driving through a place where once Lincoln used to walk around and go to school etc.
The thoughts along the roads took us to Atlanta and we spent couple of days with our friends. It was kind of relaxing after hoteling at different places, home was a good change and with known people around and with the hustle bustle of kids.

Visiting MLK's birth place was quiet inspiring. Many times we read books and know about all the national heroes but when you actually visit to their places and then remember and read about them - you are able to connect immediately and thats the feeling I got when I was at MLK's birthday place. MK Gandhi's statue makes one feel so proud which is situated right at the entrance and I feel its a good way to give tribute to the one who inspired MLK for equal rights and non-violence. 
As you go through these places and read what they have said in those days... it really makes you think about what has changed ? Really, ask yourself what has been changed other than that we are continuously progressing as we are intelligent human being but then what worth is it if you see even today there is killing and violence all around.
People talk about old school and old methods but looking at the history, it seems either we go back to school to study and understand history from heart rather than to pass the exam or we must have the new generation Gandhi and or MLK.

Our visit was almost ending as we took the flight from Atlanta to Las Vegas. Drive to home from Vegas was kind of giving a slow relief as going around different places and sleeping in different hotels and living through suitcases all was going to end. I guess thats when you remember your sweet home. 

This year vacation was really a stress free and relaxing one. Work was not at all on mind and a new role was waiting for me to start - all this gave me an immense satisfaction. It's true when you are changing your job or a new role, you need to refresh your mind and a vacation at that right time is a must so that you come back all refresh and recharged to start the new role with extreme enthusiasm.
Adios to East Coast until we visit next....!

“No one realizes how beautiful it is to travel until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow.” 

Friday, August 01, 2014

Life isn't meant to be lived in one place ;)

Drive from New York to Buffalo was with a mixed leaving New York and then Buffalo where I used to drive from Toronto quiet often to meet friends - it was good and bad kind of!!!
As we reached Buffalo, it was kind of flashback and nostalgic moment. It literally felt the other side of the bridge is to walk towards home - Toronto.

I think by the time I reached here New York was no where in mind. I was more or less going through each and every minute of my days in Canada and the Niagara Falls.
People might think what it is about Niagara falls but one who has seen the falls in deep silence has spoken many words which are speechless and soundless. It's mere an understanding and spirituality that exists with nature. It was a blissful moment for me. It always gave me strength. In my lonely days, I used to drive to Niagara every weekend and just come and stand in front of the fall and I forget also who's in my surroundings. It was getting one with nature - a mutual zeal to talk to each other and share the thoughts and get strength to look forward for the next.

Through out the Niagara falls visit, it was one thought in mind that this is not the right view of Niagara falls... to watch it one must cross the border and view the real nature's beauty. Something where there is life and spirituality. On the Buffalo side, you only see acts of tourism and the nature aspect of it is NIL.

Buffalo city - I was there for two nights and this gave an opportunity to visit the Mummies Museum - a totally different outlook of the life from past. Sometimes it really made me think, what must have made those people think and create these mummies after death? Whatever belief they had with which they did this, but in today's world it does allow our scientists to determine about life and disease if they had any in those days.

Night was a bit scary as everything was shut down even before it was dark. It cannot be called as a city, specially where the roads are dead creepy. Living in the hotel was kind of bringing memories from past. Even though I was there in the present, mind was continuously running into things in the past. A moment came in mind where I just felt to go to the place where I came alone and built my home - i.e., Toronto.

Finally that day also came when I said adios to Buffalo and the drive was towards Ohio Cleveland to meet the family and thus the journey still continues...!!! 

"My restless, roaming spirit would not allow me to remain at home very long"

~ Dawn

A Bart ride one afternoon...

This afternoon for some reason instead of taking Uber I decided to take Bart. When you are not used to public transport for long ti...