Defying Definitions: 28 Years of Living My Own Truth

 

April 10th marks a profound personal milestone. Twenty-eight years ago, on April 10th, 1997, I stepped off the plane at Toronto International Airport, alone, into a country utterly new and unknown. There was no meticulously crafted plan, only an unwavering determination to forge my own path. Now, on April 10th, 2025, looking back, the journey feels incredibly significant. I arrived carrying the weight of someone else's aspirations, and from there, I had to weave in my own dreams. Some initial decisions weren't mine, but ultimately, I charted my own course, and I hold no regrets.

"The most profound journeys are often those taken without a map, guided only by the compass of your own heart."

When loved ones inquire about guilt, my answer remains a firm no, never. No guilt, no regrets, because every decision I made felt right for me, and I consciously ensured they didn't negatively impact others. Venturing down unconventional paths has gifted me invaluable life lessons, the kind that classrooms and textbooks can't offer, not even the well-intentioned guidance of parents who always sought to shield me. But life, as it often does, had its own script. I've been blessed with the amazing experience of connecting with diverse individuals, forming cherished friendships, and exploring a multifaceted career. I deliberately pushed my boundaries, embracing discomfort in various professional roles, and emerged a successful human being. These opportunities shattered the self-imposed limitations, proving that the "I can't" I once believed was a lie. The girl who once feared solo autorickshaw rides has since navigated unfamiliar territories and thrived. I've indeed come a long way.

"Every unexpected turn holds the potential for a beautiful discovery about yourself and the world."

The same girl whom some classmates envisioned solely as a capable housewife, adept at cooking sambar, now finds herself working in the tech industry in North America—a reality they, too, share today. The truth is, society often attempts to define and confine us based on external perceptions, but true empowerment lies in self-belief and pursuing one's own convictions. I'm filled with gratitude for the countless anonymous acts of kindness: the stranger who guided me when I was lost after a bus ride, the person who pointed me towards my destination. These stories underscore the inherent humanity and the presence of good-hearted individuals who offer assistance without judgment, helping us navigate towards our chosen paths.

"In the tapestry of life, every thread, planned or unplanned, contributes to the beauty of the whole. Gratitude weaves it all together."

My childhood dream was simple: a life on a farm, a small hut surrounded by nature, sustenance from the land, and cooking with the aid of a trusty geyser – a vivid dream that felt like a deep-seated yearning. Today, my reality far surpasses that initial vision, and I am overflowing with gratitude. I fondly remember my dear friend Carol (who passed away too soon) making me promise not to leave Canada for the USA. I kept that promise for a time, but years after her passing, meeting Vinod led me to the United States. And I can honestly say, people in the USA are kind too. Life is beautiful, and we must do what resonates with our own journey. Don't seek external validation; it's unnecessary. Carry your dreams and aspirations, not the burden of others' opinions. Extend love to everyone and give back where you can. Ultimately, we are all on a cyclical journey.

"Twenty-eight years later, I realize the most beautiful chapters are often the ones I never saw coming."

"The girl who stepped off that plane couldn't have imagined this life, and for that, I am eternally grateful."

Gratitude fills my heart for a loving husband who is also my best friend and an incredible father. My children, in their constant state of growth, allow me to relive my own childhood – the highs of high school, the milestones of college, the excitement of that first job. Isn't there a unique joy in growing up again and again? Perhaps we never truly grow up, for it's in that perpetual state of learning and making mistakes that we gain wisdom. I realize now that I've spent more of my life outside my birth country than within it. This day always prompts reflection, a yearly striving to become a better version of myself – a journey that continues.

"Don't wait for permission to bloom; plant your own seeds and trust the unfolding." 

~ Dawn

Malabar Tales – A Cinematic Journey into the Heart of Kerala’s Folklore

"The only safe thing is to take a chance. ~ Mike Nichols"

I would like to start this blog with that quote today.

As we all know some films entertain, some provoke thought, and then there are those rare gems like 'Malabar Tales' that transport you into a world brimming with history, culture, and mysticism. Rooted in Kerala’s rich folklore, this film is a visual and emotional masterpiece, seamlessly blending mythology with contemporary storytelling. I might feel more because I grew up outside of Kerala just like the Writer/Director/Producer Anil Kunhappan.

The movie weaves together multiple short stories from the Malabar region, interconnecting them with a beautifully written central thread. Each tale is crafted with depth, evoking emotions ranging from awe to introspection. The storytelling never feels rushed, allowing the audience to fully immerse themselves in the magical realism that defines the film.

The cinematography captures the essence of Kerala’s backwaters, forests, and temples, making every frame feel like a painting. 

The performances in 'Malabar Tales' are nothing short of extraordinary. Each actor brings their character to life with raw emotion and authenticity, whether it’s the storyteller guiding the audience through these ancient narratives or the villagers embodying the myths passed down for generations. 

A film like 'Malabar Tales' demands a soundtrack that complements its grandeur, and it delivers spectacularly. The music, deeply rooted in Kerala’s classical and folk traditions, enhances the mystical aura of the stories. From haunting chants to rhythmic folk beats, the soundscape adds a surreal depth to the narrative. 

"People have forgotten how to tell a story. Stories don't have a middle or an end any more. They usually have a beginning that never stops beginning. ~ Steven Spielberg"

Unlike many period or folklore-based films that merely present cultural nostalgia, 'Malabar Tales' revives the spirit of oral storytelling, making it relevant for modern audiences. The film not only honors the past but also presents folklore as a living, breathing part of Kerala’s identity. In many ways, I found myself connecting with the storyteller, as the film resonated with my own feelings about Kerala, despite having grown up outside of it.

'Malabar Tales' it’s a film that celebrates Kerala’s cultural heritage while pushing the boundaries of storytelling. With its captivating narrative, stunning visuals, compelling performances, and immersive sound design, this film is a must-watch for cinephiles and lovers of folklore alike.

Every film has a beginning and an end, but 'Malabar Tales' stands out by keeping the audience engaged, leaving them wanting more, and provoking deep thought about what might have happened beyond the final scene. Each story within the film encourages reflection, not by providing direct answers, but by inspiring viewers to seek their own interpretations and solutions.

"When given an opportunity, deliver excellence and never quit. ~ Robert Rodriguez"

I was truly captivated by the storytelling and craftsmanship of the film. When my husband handed me the phone, saying, "Talk to my longtime friend who made this movie," I shared my initial thoughts, though they felt raw and too soon to fully articulate my emotions. However, one thing was clear—I wanted to see more films like this come to light and receive the recognition they deserve.

We all can contribute to that by watching and sharing this film. This movie can be watched on 'ManoramaMax streaming' platform. 'Malabar Tales' is not a commercial blockbuster with megastars, but it proves that great storytelling doesn’t need them. What it does need—and delivers flawlessly—is strong narration, talented actors, and a director who knows how to extract the essence of the story through them.

The music is used thoughtfully, enhancing the narrative where needed and seamlessly blending with the theme. The film is crafted with intelligence, and I deeply appreciate the effort behind bringing it to the audience.

Thank you, Anil. I look forward to seeing more of your work, making an impact on storytelling and, ultimately, on humanity itself.

~ Dawn

Rahi, Happy 18th 💖

 My Dearest Rahi,

Happy 18th Birthday! My heart swells with pride and love as I write this to you. Eighteen years have flown by, and watching you grow into the remarkable young man you are has been the greatest joy of my life.

And what a special day it is! You were born on March 8th, International Women's Day, a day that celebrates strength, resilience, and the power of women. To me, you embody those same qualities – strong, compassionate, and full of potential. You are my strength, my pride, and my inspiration.

Turning 18 is a significant milestone, a threshold to new beginnings and exciting adventures. Embrace the opportunities that come your way, chase your dreams with passion, and never forget the incredible person you are.

I am so incredibly proud of the kind, intelligent, and talented young man you've become. As you step into this new chapter of your life, know that I will always be here for you, cheering you on every step of the way.

Happy Birthday, my wonderful son. May this year, and every year to come, be filled with happiness, success, and all the love in the world.

With all my love,

Mom (Usha)

~Dawn

Kerala's Legacy Lives On: 'Cross Belt' in San Francisco

Thapasya Arts San Francisco recently brought the powerful drama "Cross Belt," penned by the esteemed late N.N. Pillai, to the HUSD Performing Arts Center in Hayward. This staging, performed entirely by talented Bay Area artists, offered a compelling live rendition of a story widely recognized through its 1970 film adaptation.

While many associate "Cross Belt" with the film directed by Crossbelt Mani and produced by A. Ponnappan, featuring iconic performances by Sathyan, Sharada, Kaviyoor Ponnamma, and Adoor Bhasi, it's crucial to acknowledge the play's original theatrical roots. The narrative, whether on screen or stage, delves into a woman's desperate act of violence born from challenging circumstances, and the subsequent repercussions. N.N. Pillai's writing, both for the stage and the film, explores complex social issues and human drama, with the title "Cross Belt" itself alluding to the law enforcement theme central to the story.

Witnessing the Bay Area production evoked vivid memories of watching the classic black-and-white film. The local cast and crew delivered an exceptional performance, demonstrating that the spirit of Malayalam theater flourishes even far from Kerala. 

Their dedication and passion were palpable, creating an immersive and moving experience. The enthusiastic applause at the play's conclusion was a sincere expression of gratitude for the artists' commitment and talent.

This performance of "Cross Belt" served as a powerful reminder of the enduring strength of regional art and its ability to connect communities. It was a testament to the Bay Area's vibrant Malayalam cultural scene, where art and community seamlessly intertwine, leaving a lasting and impactful impression.

A Saturday evening well spent !

~Dawn

A Tale of Two Feminist Narratives

Cinema has long been a powerful medium to challenge societal norms, and both The Great Indian Kitchen (2021, Malayalam) and Mrs (2024, Hindi) attempt to shed light on gender roles and the oppression women face within traditional marriage structures. However, while both films tackle similar themes, The Great Indian Kitchen stands out as a more powerful, immersive, and hard-hitting experience compared to Mrs, which, despite good intentions, falls short in its execution.

 

The Great Indian Kitchen, directed by Jeo Baby, is a masterclass in subtle yet gut-wrenching storytelling. The film follows a newlywed woman (Nimisha Sajayan) who gradually realizes the suffocating nature of her marriage. The monotony of housework, the indifference of her husband and in-laws, and the dehumanization of her identity are depicted with such realism that it becomes an almost visceral experience for the audience. There are no over-the-top dialogues—just the repetition of everyday chores, making it painfully relatable.

On the other hand, Mrs, starring Sanya Malhotra, attempts to present a modern, urban take on a woman’s fight for identity within a patriarchal setting. While the premise is promising, the film leans heavily on dramatic dialogues and predictable conflicts rather than relying on the subtleties that made The Great Indian Kitchen so haunting. Mrs presents its protagonist’s journey with a more polished, commercial approach, which, while engaging, doesn’t quite deliver the same emotional punch.

Nimisha Sajayan’s performance in The Great Indian Kitchen is nothing short of extraordinary. She doesn’t rely on loud confrontations; instead, her exhaustion, frustration, and quiet rebellion seep through her expressions and body language. It’s an organic transformation from subjugation to resistance, making her final act of defiance all the more satisfying.

Sanya Malhotra in Mrs is undoubtedly strong in her role, but the writing doesn’t allow for the same depth of transformation. Her character’s journey feels somewhat rushed and formulaic, making it harder for the audience to truly immerse themselves in her struggle.

Jeo Baby’s direction in The Great Indian Kitchen is meticulous. The cinematography focuses on the daily grind—chopping, cooking, cleaning, serving, and then repeating the cycle endlessly. The close-up shots of oily kitchen sinks, the clatter of utensils, and the mechanical nature of household chores make the audience feel the protagonist’s suffocation. The film’s silence is deafening, forcing viewers to absorb the sheer exhaustion of domestic oppression.

Mrs, directed by Arati Kadav, has a more conventional Bollywood-style execution. The film is well-shot, and the production design is slick, but it lacks the raw intensity that makes The Great Indian Kitchen unforgettable. Instead of letting the audience experience the protagonist’s reality, Mrs tends to explain it, making it less impactful.

Both films raise important questions about gender roles, the expectation of women to conform, and the battle for autonomy. However, The Great Indian Kitchen does it with a quiet rage that stays with you long after the credits roll. It doesn’t rely on grand speeches; instead, it forces the audience to sit in discomfort and truly understand the oppression that millions of women face daily.

Mrs tries to deliver a similar message, but it does so in a more direct, mainstream-friendly way, making it a less powerful critique of patriarchy. While it succeeds in addressing the issue, it doesn’t push the boundaries as effectively as The Great Indian Kitchen.

While Mrs is a well-intentioned film that highlights an important issue, it ultimately pales in comparison to the brutal honesty of The Great Indian Kitchen. The latter is a cinematic experience that forces you to confront uncomfortable truths without the need for excessive drama. If you’re looking for a film that truly challenges the status quo and lingers in your mind long after watching, The Great Indian Kitchen is the clear winner.

Also, keep an eye on Jeo Baby—he has crafted some extraordinary films that will leave a lasting impact on audiences.

~ Dawn

We must keep going !

This past Saturday, January 25th, the Museum of the African Diaspora (MoAD) in San Francisco hosted a captivating event in partnership with SFJAZZ, celebrating Black History Month with a unique blend of art and music.

The afternoon began with a guided tour of MoAD's exhibitions. MoAD's current exhibition is a vibrant exploration of Black identity, creativity, and the concept of "liberatory living." The show cleverly intertwines art and design, showcasing how everyday objects and spaces can become powerful expressions of self and community.

Zanele Muholi's striking photographic portrait, "Balindile I, the square, Cape Town 2017," likely served as a compelling anchor for the exhibition. Muholi's work often confronts issues of race, gender, and sexuality, and this piece probably provided a powerful lens through which to view the other works. Malene Djaneba Barnett's "Illusion of Softness" wallpaper added a tactile and visually rich dimension. Barnett's work explores themes of African heritage and ancestral connection, and the wallpaper likely created an immersive environment within the exhibition.

The overall theme of "Liberatory Living: Black Radical Joy" provided a framework for understanding the works on display. It suggests that by creating and inhabiting spaces that reflect their own values and aesthetics, Black individuals can experience a sense of freedom, joy, and empowerment. 

This exhibition seems to be a testament to MoAD's commitment to showcasing diverse voices and perspectives within the African diaspora. By blending art, design, and social commentary, it creates a thought-provoking and inspiring experience with a range of powerful and thought-provoking works exploring the African diaspora. Museum tours always offer a chance for personal reflection and shared perspectives, and this one was likely no different, sparking conversations and deepening understanding.

Following the tour, the focus shifted to music with a performance by the talented Martin Luther McCoy, known for his soulful blend of blues, R&B, and storytelling, McCoy treated the audience to an intimate concert in the museum's gallery. He was joined by bassist Elizabeth, adding depth and groove to his signature sound. This performance was particularly special as it offered a first listen to selections from McCoy's upcoming album "Welcome Back Love," giving attendees a sneak peek into his creative process.

Overall, the event seems to have been a resounding success, offering a rich and engaging experience that combined the visual power of art with the emotive force of music. It provided a fitting tribute to Black History Month, showcasing the creativity and resilience of Black artists and their contributions to our cultural landscape. And meeting curator Kee Jo Lee at the end of the visit was a great way to deepen my understanding of the exhibition. Curators play a crucial role in shaping the narrative of an exhibition, and Lee's insights likely added a valuable layer to our experience.

The personal touch at MoAD extended beyond the art itself. Elizabeth Gessel, the Director of Public Programs, sent a thoughtful email after I registered for the event, which made me feel welcomed and valued. Then, receiving a thank you note from her after attending added a special touch and deepened my connection to the museum. This level of personal attention and care elevated the entire experience, making it feel truly touching and thoughtful.

~Dawn