Today I am writing this blog as a dedication to my favorite actor Mohanlal. Yes, I have kept my emotions and feelings towards him within myself though some of my friends do know about it. But as I was dedicating my radio-show “Ushas” for Mohanlal, it brought all my emotions, desires and my childhood dreams alive.
Yes, going through his songs brought the movies also in front of my eyes and it makes me reassure myself that – I was not a fool to love him so deeply. It was not a mere craze of a teenage girl, but yes he has substance in him and those elements have made me go crazy for Mohanlal.
Even though I was raised outside of Kerala, my parents raised me as a true Malayali girl. Yes, though I am not beautiful but I had long curly hair which when I used to tie like all other malayali girls and go to temples, many aunties, and uncles have loved me and given compliments to me. Many have told me about the beauty as ‘aishwaryam ulla mukham’. All this when I think of now, it makes me feel that I had a dual face because even though my parents were raising me as a malayali girl they also had given me the freedom to be what I am in Pune National Defense Academy.
I was a tom-boy, yes many who know me from school-time can relate to this but not my current friends. I was an athlete and well known as P.T.Usha (the Indian national runner and Olympic star of those days). I used to run in track and have brought pride to my school and my sports teachers by winning cup always.
Field Hockey is another sport that I am deeply in love with. This sport not only taught me how to play, but also how to be a team player and most important for me, it made me a confident human in life. I never got scared, even of death because that’s how it made me strong and confident. My sports teacher, Mrs. Bose madam, gave me immense support, which made me to be what I am as a hockey player, as she always appreciated my fastest shots and penalty moments where I used to make goals and Bose madam used to wave while sitting at the back of her husband’s lambretta scooter – it was like a flag waving in my mind.
Having said that my dream guy always was someone in mundu, the typical keralite outfit, I always wished someone will express his love for me in Malayalam and through Malayalam songs …yes it sounds crazy but in those days I used to pray to god that every life I should be born as a keralite – that’s the seed my parents sow in my heart and mind. I always envisioned a malayali guy as my dream guy or prince and today I feel very happy to say this that I loved a malayali guy Vinod Narayan who is a typical malayali like I wanted yet he has all those qualities that I visualized to be a open minded man in my life – a friend, philosopher, writer, a poet and a crazy person whom I often don’t tell that I love him J
I want to say thank you to Mohanlal for adding this element of malayali in me, which will go with me to my graveyard. After all this said and done, in my heart I always associate myself as a Puneri and I say so because as a seed raised in Pune NDA environment and the tree that I am today is a mix of both - the malayali girl in me and the Puneri me - feels lucky to be raised in this way - a thank you moment to my Parents as well, specially my dad - a true Malayali who's influence about literature, poetry and music has induced and impacted my life hugely -Thank You Accha!
"One can pay back the loan of gold, but one dies forever in debt to those who are kind"
~ Dawn ;)