Saturday, May 13, 2017

A mother is always the beginning. She is how things begin..!

We all take our parents for granted, mostly our mom!
I remember I used to try my best to impress my mom. I used to do things that I was sure will bring smile on her face. Those days there was no Mother's day in India and impressing mom or to do something for mom or dad was not restricted to any day or time of the year.

I remember I used to clean and keep the house tidy because my mom loved that. Another thing I used to do was to cook some snacks by the time she comes home from her work, I used to look at the recipe in the Women's Era magazine and for the evening snack time when my parents come home from work I used to serve tea and snacks.

The happiness on my mom-dad's face was priceless, even today I remember that moment when mom used to say good girl, did you made all that? And, I can't even express my happiness at that moment because to make mom give that kind of a compliment was very tough.

My mom always supported what I did but it was always to push towards next level and hence for many things she would not praise or say good job, instead she would say yes next time do it better. 

It's true when our parents say that, "you will realize what it means to be a parent when you will become one". Many times we take it for granted and when our time comes we realize their hardship and love that nurtured us to stand strong and move ahead in life.

Today, whatever I am I give that credit to my mom and Dad. But without mom's teaching, I would have never understood what it means to be financially independent, what it means to do things that you like, what it means to be open and what does it mean when we say narrow mindedness. There's lot my mom has taught which has become an habit without even realizing that it was part of me that was growing within me, whether it's about hygiene, taking care of others, being a girl what to do and at the same time she let me do what I like to do. That slight freedom made me feel like heaven. And that was part of her way of teaching me about life.

I remember when I was a hockey player in school, my mom used to encourage me and she would shop for my sports outfit. I used to wear shorts and I remember it was after my High School time when my brother was advising me that I should cover my legs because I am a big girl now and same day my mom buying shorts for was hilarious!
That gesture of my mom at one point makes me realize she is very open and liberal but at the same time when my mom panics about society, I used to get very upset. Because my mom was financially independent working woman with a husband who is liberal and open minded. He never sacrificed his family's happiness for society sake. 
I get this from my dad, but there was only one thing which I always was worried for mom was about her concern about what society will say?
Now, when I look back and walk-thru those moments I feel she was trying to teach me both sides of a coin. One you do what you like but then you have to take full responsibility for it and do not expect that anyone will come for your support or help. Otherwise, be at the mercy of society and follow the rules which may not bring happiness to you.

Another incident I remember, when I was in college and mom had brought a new dress for me which had mirrors as art work on it. When I wore that to college my mom was more excited than me and I didn't get it as why? But that evening when I returned from college she asked me how was it, what did everyone say about your dress and as I tried to describe how some boys were trying to look into the mirror to comb their hair and she laughed out like a child. Those moment make me feel she probably saw those happiness and moments through me as her time it was very strict. It also taught me that there is nothing wrong in being friends with boys and girls and fun is always taken as fun nothing more.

There's lot mom has taught me and there are moments in my life where I often think of those times and realize how my mom's way of teaching me and preparing me for the world and future was different than anyone else.

I am so lucky to have a mother who taught me life's lessons in her own way where sometimes she was also learning along with me and sometimes she allowed me to do things so I learn from there.

I am taking bits and pieces from what you taught me mom and some I am picking my own experiences from this part of the world and trying to teach my daughter the same. But I have to express this that no matter what discrimination was there in the world, you as a parent never let that happen to me. My questions might be weird but you always gave a thought to it and let me do what I like to do because you also felt there should not be a reason for discrimination being a girl. 

I love you mom! And, I know you know that because no matter what we discuss there is this confidence that you show in me, the trust that you have in me tells that you feel content about me.

Happy Mother's Day Mom, without you I don't exist! 

~ Dawn

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