Friday, January 23, 2009

"Love all, trust a few"

John had the perfect opportunity to express his feelings and he did. James decided to fly to India and meet John in person.
Both were very happy – when they met they felt they are made for each other.
John took James to most of the places and showed around and this gave them a good chance to know each other well.
James after spending one month in India with John had to leave for US. He told John to think about the relationship seriously and things should work out well in life.

“Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement.” ~ Alfred Adler

John was very happy though he was sad that James is leaving but looking at the positive aspect John felt relaxed and peace at heart.
I think it was then when, in US the gay-marriage bill got passed and everyone was getting married left and right :), when James insisted John to fly to US.
John was not able to do so and a time came where James gave an ultimatum to his partner that if he doesn’t make up his mind in 2 weeks he is going to split ways with him.
John tried to explain him on what basis he can come there and other hurdles that he has but all in vain. James moved on with his life and John again lonely and sad!

“You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough.” ~ Frank Crane
John was not sure if this is how his life going to be? Is he ever going to find a partner with whom he can share his life and live ever after? But as nature teaches all, he also consoled himself about the reality and tried to look happiness in taking care of his parents and meeting his elder brother and family.
Life moved on, John started spending most of his time in making paintings and sketches. He was indeed very good at it. Friends started asking him to make their portrait and so forth.
One day John met a guy called Naresh, who seemed to be a very nice guy. John always have this fear that he doesn’t want to fall for anything and so he was more concentrated at his work and paintings. One day Naresh told him that he is a gay. John was surprised but was happy too. John and Naresh they had mutual feelings for each other and hence they started dating each other.
John wanted to know if Naresh has said this to his family. Naresh had only disclosed this to John and no one else. Naresh used to send thousands of sms to John and he used to make so many calls to John when they are not together.
One day Naresh called John to his home as his car was in the garage and he needed the lift to work. John went to his house when he saw a girl in who opened the door at the knock. Naresh immediately came out and said let’s go!

“What everyone wants from life is continuous and genuine happiness.” ~ Baruch Spinoza

The girl was bothering John very much and so John asked Naresh – ‘Naresh, who is that girl in your house who just opened the door?’

Naresh said – ‘oh! I forgot to tell you I live with my cousin sister.’
John asked – ‘does she know about you that you are a gay?’
Naresh - ‘hey! No way!! If I tell her she will tell to everyone in the family and my parents will kill me’.

“Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.” ~Charlotte Bronte

John was a bit baffled at this. But he was okay when he thought about the difficulties one has to face.
Time was flying, John was very happy with this relationship as he felt he got someone who is in the city and he has no pressure to leave the country.

One day John thought why not Naresh and I move in to one apartment so that he doesn’t have to go all the way to Naresh’s house to pick him up for work. John thought he will discuss this with Naresh in the evening and he started getting ready for work.

John’s cell phone used to buzz all the time as Naresh used to send him thousands of sms and John used to feel very secure and protective in the company of Naresh.
It was evening when Naresh and John decided to have a coffee and they were talking about the nice coffee, the weather and above all about each other, when John said – ‘I have an idea…if you’re okay with it?’ and he paused to get the yes response from Naresh.
Naresh said – ‘Yes, go ahead. What is it?

“Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.” ~ Dorothy Thompson
John said, I was thinking why don’t you move into my apartment that way I don’t have to come to your house all the time and your cousin sister will wonder always who I am! And more over we will have more time for each other.’

Naresh at this a bit hesitated but he recovered quickly and said let me think over.
Next day Naresh called John and said he has some work so he is not going to work. This gave the indication that John need not go to pick up Naresh. John said- ‘no worries! I will come and see you in the evening, to this Naresh responded no I will be out of town and I will call you once I am back.

This sudden change and plans made John a bit doubtful. He asked Naresh what it is. Naresh kept on saying some family matter has come up and he has to visit his parents.
John thought there might be something important and he said- ‘you know my number so if anything you need do call me.’

Naresh assured John that he will be back in couple of weeks and need not be worried and he went to his home town.

“Life is a quest and love a quarrel ...” ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

7 comments:

Suresh Kumar said...

You can call it a strong feeling of being together with that special person. But love, it isn't... ???

Physically they cant come together. Neither of the pair can have that motherly desires, though they can be feminine in characteristics whatever it is. How would their love life sustain in the long period when they cant have physical love. Thats one of the psychological needs of human being, rite ? These must have been the thoughts of Naresh also.....

krystyna said...

"Love all, trust a few" -
great advice, dear Dawn!

Thank you for sharing this story and smart quotes.
Alfret Adler was right - trust only movement...

Great post!

Have a great weekend!

hugsss

Jyoti said...

Very well said and even this story supports it strongly.

Nicely said :)

MS said...

Amazing stuff. Checked this blog for the first time today and just loved it.
BTW, was wondering how you know Maitry Suman...one of your very old entries in the blog-year 2005 types.............

Tarun Goel said...

What next??I hope there is something left.
I am waiting.....

Anonymous said...

U made me cry I am sorry could not comment b4 coz I was so touched by the way u have put ur thoughts those words seems like all those words I have lost I found them here. Thank you once again

Dawn said...

Suresh Kumar: Dear I answered you in my other blog so come by there and read the end of this story there :) see you soon
Cheers

krystyna, Jyoti, Tarun Goel: Come to my new home and I have an answer for you guys :)
Cheers and Hugz

MS: Thanks! Yes, she was my friend in school. Are you related to her or know her?????
Cheers

Anonymous: I am sure someone somewhere will understand the pain and I hope I touched your heart. I am glad!

Cheers

We are all different. Don’t judge, understand instead!!!

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